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What is the best way to help someone get over a break up?

28 Answers
Last Updated: 06/15/2021 at 3:29am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
June 4th, 2015 11:21pm
Give them the time & space they need to mourn the loss of their relationship - being upset doesn't feel good but it can be a crucial part of recovery. Be there to support them & listen to them. Once they are feeling up to it, try to distract them with pleasant topics & activities to keep their mind off of their ex. Don't push them into new relationships before they are ready, but once they are encourage them to pursue new healthy relationships.
January 18th, 2016 4:08am
It is so tough to see a close friend or family member go through the grieving process after a breakup, and I know it can be difficult to know how to help them. The real healer after a breakup is time, but you can still certainly help them through. The most important thing you can do for the person is be there for them. Be there to sit and rub their back while they cry it out, be there to listen when they need to vent, or rehash what happened over and over to try to figure out went wrong. Be there even when you've heard what they're saying for the millionth time and just want to shake some sense in to them for being so hung up on someone that no longer cares about them (if that's the case, in your person's situation). Be there to support them if they do something they regret in an effort to move on (e.g., call the person and leave an angry message, have "move on sex", get into a bad rebound relationship). Just be there. If you're there, you'll start to see openings to help them in other ways...when you see the glimmer of a smile, tell them a story to turn it into a laugh. When you can tell they need a break from being sad, find ways to distract them (e.g., plan an outing, play a game, watch a movie). When they need encouragement, say things to help build them up. Your presence and love is the best help you can give them.
April 2nd, 2015 3:49am
One way to get over a break-up is to get a new hobby or activity to fill the hours you had spent with your ex.
April 22nd, 2015 1:12pm
To help them modify their expectations by realizing the fact that all relationships are prone to change, and certain changes may end relationships. One should not look at it as a disaster. This is the natural dynamics of human relationships and may happen to anyone.
November 15th, 2016 1:32am
Be there to listen, to comfort, to empathize. Focus on positive thoughts, try not to be negative. Let them cry, be angry but encourage them to give themselves a specific time during the day to focus on those feelings otherwise the person can be swallowed up in those feelings. Try to get them to go for a daily walk with you, the exercise and fresh air is great for helping with moods. Make sure they are eating mostly healthy food and drinking lots of water.
February 28th, 2015 3:56am
In my experience, it is usually most helpful if you are simply there to listen and help the individual express all of the emotional pain that they are feeling. One of the hardest things about going through a breakup is keeping everything inside and trying to hold it all together which can often lead to withdrawal and loneliness. For me, I have always found it most helpful to spend time with people who care about me and who are willing to listen to me even if I need to talk for hours and hours about the same thing over and over. Listen to them for as long as they need you to listen. Sometimes that's all it takes!
June 23rd, 2015 3:00am
To let all the feelings pour out, cry all you want, talk all you want. Then as time moves on learn to accept it and move on. Sooner or later you WILL find the right person for you, just don't rush into anything and take it slow.
November 10th, 2015 8:46pm
Watch a favorite Movie, TV show And or netflix and Youtube. You could also watch movies or Tv shows related to the situation.
January 9th, 2017 4:04am
It really depends on the person. Some people like letting there feeling out by talking about the relationship, other's might cope better by being distracted by the event of the breakup (going to the movies or doing other fun activities) until it they have gotten used to it. The best thing to do is to just be there for them and help them with whatever they need :)
April 15th, 2015 2:43am
I realize that break ups are hard to get over. The most important and often forgotten step is to realize why breaking up was the best decision for them. Once there is no danger of falling back in old habit, new habits will be what help them to move on with their life. It is important to find something new to do, even if it is something small like taking an evening walk everyday. It is also important to have a good social life. Remember though, that healing takes time, you can't expect immediate results. Just keep going and eventually things will get better.
May 22nd, 2015 5:39pm
Be there for them! When they are feeling down, give them a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or just be a presence for them.
June 18th, 2015 4:26am
Be there for them and comfort them, its the best anyone can get. If they dont mind advice or being told certain things like it will pass or so on. then go from there.
June 30th, 2015 11:06pm
You may think that eating ice cream or a lot of junk food will help and it does but after a while you might feel disgusted with yourself and feel worse I suggest eating fruit and just know that people come and go they always will.
July 21st, 2015 1:18am
Provide support and opportunities for that person to get their mind off of their breakup. Listen to their feelings when they do want to talk through them.
October 7th, 2015 2:03pm
be there for them! show them that your dedicated to helping them and that you only want what's best for them, you can help them by giving them tips on how to get there mind off of someone and maybe organise some things for you to do, e.g. plan a day out or do their favourite thing
November 17th, 2015 3:46pm
Be there for them when they need you. Listen to them and support them. Give them your time. Time is really important factor in a breakup as well as knowing you have somewhere there for you
January 19th, 2016 1:34am
Remind them that they are perfect. That there are over 7 billion people in the world and that just because one person treated them badly or wasn't "the one" doesn't mean that they are destined to die alone.
May 16th, 2016 6:13am
Best way is to be a ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Always remind the person that there is a reason for the breakup and over time he/she will be laughing over the whole thing.
June 28th, 2016 6:18am
Making him accept that the relationship is over and bringing him closer to his real self...getting him to trust himself
January 3rd, 2017 5:02pm
Getting over a break up is hard for a lot of people! To begin with it's important to understand that ending a serious relationship is like ending a chapter of your life. A lot of emotions will be going through this persons head so try not to rush them into automatically moving on from the situation. Take this person out to do something they really enjoy. If they like music, take them to a concert, or perhaps a karaoke bar. If they enjoy swimming, take them to a local water park or maybe the beach. This person is probably feeling down, and may want to do something they enjoy to make themselves feel better, so try to focus on something you know they love to do. However make sure you're not encouraging them to bottle up their feelings into things they love. Give them time to cry or mourn being careful not to let it go on for too long.
January 16th, 2017 10:41am
Just be there and listen with love and empathy. At times the best help is to be there for the person without not really "doing" anything. You can also spend time doing an activity which helps someone to cut off from the pain of breaking up...
March 20th, 2017 8:46pm
Be there for them, remind them they are still gold before and after that person came into their life and that no matter what, they will not wither, devalue, or even rust. They need to know that they're still amazing and there are people there for them.
February 20th, 2018 3:42am
I believe the best way to help is to listen and be there for that someone who has went through a breakup. No judgement but pure empathy.
February 18th, 2019 1:12am
Embrace all of the stages. Do not encourage tears, or anger, or revenge, or binge drinking. Do not encourage anything that isn't self improving. But be there to support when you can. Understand, listen, cry with them. You won't help someone get over a break up. They have to do it on their terms. But you can be there to hold their hand, pull them back up, support them. You can be there. Let them go through the motions. Let them feel what they have to feel. Pushing them to do this or do that isn't proactive. They have to learn how to be self sufficient. You can support that.
April 20th, 2020 11:24pm
Come to terms with how you feel and the pain you're experiencing. Learn from the break up. It sounds a lot easier than it seems because the learning happens over time. It's never going to be easy going through a break up. Only time can really heal and help you learn from it. Time also helps a person to adapt to life without the previous significant other. After a break up, it's best to focus on other aspects of life and how to improve good qualities. Using the break up as a learning curve is a great way to view it as well.
July 6th, 2020 5:02pm
Be there for them. Breakups are hard and they are draining. Having friends around that care about them is the best feeling they can have in such a difficult time in their lives. Just be there in silence, be there to listen, be there to keep their mind off of it if that is what they need. Everyone handles breakups differently so ask your friend what they need from you and ask them how you can help. It will mean a world of difference. It is sweet to come to 7cups for advice for your friend, I think that is really great and makes you a good friend. Goodluck.
November 27th, 2020 7:08pm
When you break up, you lose your partner, best friend and even more. It will not take a week but months or even a year to be able to get that person out of your head and heart and finally move on. Seeing a friend experience a bad breakup is disheartening.

Some women handle heartbreaks badly. There are chances that your friend will want to text her partner and stalk him on social media especially Instagram hoping to see pictures of his 'new life'…her energy will be low at work, she'll lock herself up in the house all weekend and stop going to the places she loves. It is a problem when it gets to a point where she can no longer set boundaries. Say the right words and show her that she still has you and your friendship. Your friend will appreciate a third party to discuss her heartbreak with.

Show your friend enough compassion and give her ideas to bring back her happiness, like suggesting dates while she takes some time off romantic relationships, self-care to find her worth again, meeting new people and creating beautiful moments with them. Get her out for dinner and night outs to keep her mind occupied. In her free time, she could read articles from relationship experts about broken heart, couples, love in order to get enough information to help her heal and learn. Don't panic if the healing process is slow, you will get there.
June 15th, 2021 3:29am
Encourage them to work on themselves. Getting over someone is never easy, but being able to feel as though you have personally improved can completely change your perspective on the situation. You can also encourage healthy comping mechanisms like surrounding yourself with loved ones such as friends and family. You can also encourage to have them take the focus off of something else like train for a marathon, pick up an art class, start reading a new series. Something to get their mind off of the larger issue. Doing this can change your whole thought process and ease the pain.