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How can I make bullies understand what they're doing is bad?

17 Answers
Last Updated: 09/23/2020 at 7:58am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
March 30th, 2015 12:22pm
By explaining to them the effects they can have on someone's whole life. Bullying can result in social anxiety. Struggling to talk to new people and always being anxious about what people are thinking of them especially
April 12th, 2015 3:32am
They likely do understand what they are doing is bad. Similar to doing drugs, harming others releases chemicals which add a high, and eventually crash afterwards. Bullies generally have insecurity issues and are taking a battle they are fighting with themselves and putting it onto others.
March 30th, 2015 7:06pm
I had to face bullies before during school times. To make them understand that what they're doing is bad by saying what they're doing is bad
April 19th, 2015 4:19am
Tell the bully that they are hurting people, and even though the bully is sad themselves to not make other people feel the way you do. Tell the bully that just because they feel sad doesn't mean that they should make others sad too. Sincerely Emma
June 15th, 2015 10:02am
You can try by telling or asking them what or why they are doing to you. For example, if they are making fun of you for no reason you could say, "You're laughing and making me feel bad about myself for what reason?"
October 26th, 2015 3:46am
In order to make bullies understand what they are doing is bad, you do some good in this world and be the ultimate example for them
November 24th, 2015 6:04am
Bullies don't understand that there is another person on the other side of the computer who has feelings. You have to tell them that they hurt you, and they don't get to decide your emotions.
May 31st, 2016 4:27am
Some people have to figure these things out for themselves. If you get the chance though, I would be honest and tell them what they're doing is hurting.
September 26th, 2016 8:19pm
I personally think that bullies just bully because they think its cool. Even they are nice people if you know them enough. If you tried to understand them and explain to them that its not cool in any way and they can be different. They should know that in their current stat nobody will like them and you should try to befriend them.
January 31st, 2017 3:35am
Sometimes bullies have extremely bad self control equalling to the ways they unnecessarily lash out at individuals. By not responding to their torment and simply just advising a parent or guardian the way that they react can change the situation and perhaps lead the bullies elsewhere or to, hopefully, understand what they are doing wrong.
December 12th, 2017 8:18pm
I can tell them how they make me feel and that it is wrong and I could convince them to also get help seeing as they might have problems too.
January 15th, 2018 2:07pm
You can talk to them in a controlled environment such as a counselors office at your school, maybe they don't understand that what they are doing to you is affecting you, be open about how it makes you feel and tell them how it can affect others and not just you.
March 6th, 2018 12:39am
If you want bullies to understand the actions they took are wrong you either can verbally tell them how many people they're affecting as a target and visual show them other bullying who are bullying another kid so they can see how much impact and damages that can be done if they were to continue, a second option video taping it and discuss with them positive impacts and consequences you may always keep some notes with you if you get stuck.
April 16th, 2018 2:59pm
Bullying is a serious problem that makes school a place of fear and can lead to violence and more stress for everyone.Some bullies are looking for attention.Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. Some bullies are copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves.Sometimes bullies know that what they're doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others. In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind. There is no easy way to make a bully understand what they're doing is wrong. But I can lend you some tips: Choose your words wisely. Say exactly how you feel with no remorse. If you really feel you haven't done anything wrong, don't apologize for making them mad. In some cases, the ideal approach would be saying "I know that I upset you/hurt your feelings by... If the person tormenting you is insecure about themselves, try to talk to them and make him or her feel better about himself or herself.....
April 24th, 2018 5:25pm
Most of the time they do understand what they are doing is wrong and bad. This is difficult to understand but a high percentage of those who bully others have experienced abuse or bullying themselves which is why they do it to others, they haven't coped with it. If they do not understand what they are doing is bad, then there may be some personality or mental issues there. Most of us have the ability to determine right from wrong however this depends on our upbringing from primary socialisation (with the family) and secondary (from schools, friends and peers.)
September 3rd, 2018 8:15pm
I would just let them feel that you are not impressed of what they are doing and that you don't even care about what they are doing- hopefully they will understand that what they are doing is bad. I don't like the idea of getting revenge because I think it's always bad to act the same way they do and it won't make them think. In my opinion, the best solution is to just let them feel that what they are doing isn't impressive in any way at all. I believe that one day, every bully will understand how cruel doing this is, but until then they are hurting people so, so much and that's really something we have to try to avoid.
September 23rd, 2020 7:58am
Bullies do understand what they are doing is bad and harmful and that's exactly why they are doing it to people. To show them that they are doing bad would change nothing. Most people don't have enough idea about bullies, most bullies are a result of bullies themselves and to cure their own low self esteem they target people who are rather innocent and have something many bullies are jealous of (except for in a few cases where it arises because of sense of entitlement but they still know what they are doing is bad ) just take care of your mind and cut bullies off your life. They don't deserve space in your life in any way . Hope this helps.