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How to get my parents to stand up for me against bullies instead of apologizing to avoid any confrontation?

74 Answers
Last Updated: 12/04/2020 at 11:36am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Collin McShirley, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I love helping people overcome challenges with food, depression, and anxiety. My work with clients is nonjudgement, supportive, and kind.

Top Rated Answers
June 10th, 2017 12:01am
Sometimes your parents can't fix things. I know when I was getting picked on at school I would tell my older sister and she never really got the chance to do anything and then one day she went on the bus and just yelled at everyone and things were fine. The bottom line is, sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself, or sometimes you just have to show those who are bullying you is nothing you need to stoop to. You'll be okay and no matter what, you are strong and going to an adult isn't a bad thing either, you're not alone unless you don't tell someone.
June 11th, 2017 2:22pm
When you think about how hard it is for you to change yourself, you understand how much harder it is to change others. Sometimes, especially when our parents don't seem to understand or more interested in holding onto their own ideas, or when they are willing but unable, then, we might have to study self care against bullies.
July 5th, 2017 2:25pm
Ultimately you are going to need to learn how to be self sufficient. Your parents enabling you isn't going to solve your problem against these bullies. You need to form solutions as to how to confront these situations and deal with them yourself. Seeking professional support is a great option to putting yourself on the pathway to learning how to deal with bullies.
July 9th, 2017 4:35am
Well your parents should stand up for you anyways because they are your parents and shouldn't care about confrontation. Just tell them that you are their child and they should stand up for you no matter what because that's what they are suppose to do.
July 13th, 2017 6:00am
You can ask your parents to have a moment for a deep conversation. There, you can share your opinion of bullying and how this action impacts a person lives even can be a reason for someone to commit suicide. How dangerous a bullying can be if nobody takes an action to prevent it. Most importantly, let them know how you feel when somebody bullies you and whether they would just stay and watch their child to be bullied instead of standing out to help.
August 10th, 2017 2:40pm
Having an honest conversation with your parents explaining the situation and asking them to behave a specific way when dealing with your bullies next time.
August 27th, 2017 4:31pm
Honestly, you should sit down with your parents and talk to them. They love you and will want to support you regardless. Some parents don't like confrontation, but if you explain to them that the bullying getting worse or that them not standing up to help you is hurting you more, they'll understand and more than likely try to change :)
November 17th, 2017 6:46pm
You talk to them and explain how being bullied is affecting your life and how badly you want to change it and need their help.
December 7th, 2017 4:26pm
Your parents should be your back bone no matter what, they should be involved in your life. Tell them how it all makes you feel and they should help you out with your situation
December 8th, 2017 10:16pm
This kind of situation can be tricky because as adults, your parents might have a hard time understanding what you're going through. Try sitting down with them and having a serious conversation. Explain exactly how you are feeling and exactly what you are going through with the bullies. Explain to them that you need help. If you still feel like you are not getting the help you need, consider talking with a guidance counselor or another adult you trust.
December 9th, 2017 2:01pm
It's always good to talk to your parents if something is bothering you, because after all they are your parents, they raised you and know what's best for you. They love and care about you. You can be sure that if you tell them how you feel and that being bullied is something you cannot deal with (nobody can really), they will listen and do best to try and help you. You can also report this to the Head person or the Principle who will look into the issue to make sure the situations like these don't reoccur. Be confident to ask for help. You are not alone.
January 26th, 2018 2:56pm
Tell them how much you are in distress and maybe you should also try standing up for yourself too. Your parents are there for you, hopefully they’ll understand.
March 1st, 2018 7:17pm
It depends on the type and severity of the bullying.If it's online bullying, then the best would be to screenshot the conversations and show your parents. If it's at school then you can explain to your parents how you feel when coming to school, and have a few examples of situations where you really felt uncomfortable and threatened.
March 27th, 2018 6:30pm
if it was me i would just ask them for help and explain to them what is going on. you have to believe that your parents will always stick up for you
March 31st, 2018 12:21am
You could tell your parents, and have them talk to the principal or someone in charge, and have them talk to the others parents/guardians.
April 4th, 2018 4:18pm
Have a serious talk with them. Bullying is no joke. Tell them you need help dealing with this. If they don't help, help yourself. Go to a teacher, principal, grandparents, aunts, uncles. Any adult who is willing to help.
April 8th, 2018 5:31pm
Parents are a fundemental figure in a teenager or child’s life and they care for their children as much as we would care for ourselves, if not, much more. It is important to first- tell your parents of your bullying, and feel comfortable about it. If you are not comfortable with telling them, you will naturally not be comfortable with them helping you stand up against your bullies. Secondly, help them understand your limits. Standing up to a bully for you is one thing, but reporting the bully to the principle of your school is another- if you’r like your parents to simply tell the bully to stop bullying you, do inform them instead of keeping them in the dark.
April 11th, 2018 3:45pm
Explain to them how it makes you feel when they do that in a calm way. Speak your truth, and try to find a compromise that suits you and them.
May 3rd, 2018 5:40pm
Let them know how you truly feel about needing there help. Also try to standing up for yourself. It is easier said than done,but I believe you can. You have shown strength by asking for help. I hope it all works well!
May 4th, 2018 9:39pm
You could have a talk with your parents about all of the ways this person has bullied you and ask for them to confront his parents or contact the school. Your parents want the best for you and they will understand.
May 16th, 2018 6:14pm
your parents will always stand up for you no matter what and you will be better off asking them and telling them what has been going on.
June 10th, 2018 10:48pm
The best advice I can give you is to sit down with your parents and tell them what exactly is happening to you. Sometimes it can be difficult for parents to exactly understand this problem. If you tell them what you are experiencing, they may understand you better and agree to help you stand up against the bullies.
June 14th, 2018 6:23pm
Wanting your parents to be on your side against bullies in understandable. I'm sure they don't want to escalate the situation and want to protect you from making things worse. Talk to them. Let them know that you appreciate that they don't want things to get worse but it's not helping things and that you want them to be more proactive. Try not to be accusatory. Be understanding and explain to them why you need them to stand up for you with confrontation instead of without it.
June 29th, 2018 6:12pm
Tell them it’s really bothering you, confront them about the situation & how you feel. They’ll never know how bad it truely is if you don’t speak up.
July 6th, 2018 8:08pm
Getting parents support is vital for any child. Try to tell them accurately what happens to you and how you are being bullied. Expressing yourself will let your parents know of your situation and help you out of it.
July 20th, 2018 11:06am
Oh my word this question covers the way I grew up. I was always in the wrong. My parents apologised for my so called bad behaviour inside of teaching the basics of what works and what doesn't. A person cannot be expected to know. Cannot be shouted at that they are wrong. The child need to be taught the basics of good verses bad. Easy when you know the score. If someone bites a gentle introduction of teeth being sharp won't go a miss. Boundaries need to be set and rules need to be respected. Not judgemental however lovingly but firmly. Not with anger.
August 15th, 2018 8:54pm
In my personal experiences, one thing that really helped me was to sit down and have a conversation with my parents telling them how I feel and how their actions make me feel and what they show me. An example for that would be if they are apologizing to avoid confrontation, I would tell them that their actions show me that they don't care how the bullies make me feel or they don't care about resolving the issue, etc. That has worked before for me.
December 5th, 2018 8:55pm
When it comes to bullying it’s best to stand up for what is right, that does not mean sitting and letting it get you down and saying sorry to avoid confrontation. The best approach you could take is to go and discus this with your parent or guardian as sisuations like this are very serious, once you and expressed how you feel to your parent then can then help you get through this hard time and help solve the situation. However, if you do not feel you can go to them go to someone who you can talk to and express how you feel as it will be easier and then they can help come forth and get it sorted.
January 6th, 2019 2:18am
Sounds like you are in a tough position. Sorry. If it is happening in school, your family must be notified, but there isn't a need for them to intervene, just be there for support. School Policy states that all children deserve to be in an environment that is emotionally and physically safe. When adults and school officials respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior they send the message that it is not acceptable. Now, if it is happening outside of the school community, than it may be best that your parents have a sit down with the perpetrator's parents. And if that's not a solution, it may be best to file a restraining order.
April 6th, 2019 12:03am
"Getting" your parents to do something is really complicated. Parents may not always be there for you. They are their own people too, however much they may put that off. It's important to remember there are other adults and resources to find help, such as school administration and counsellors. Bullies usually are having a really hard time in their own lives, and bullying is a result of that insecurity and suffering. They could also use help. An anonymous tip to the counsellors that they may be in need of some assistance could go a long way. One of the best things about bullies, is they teach us to stand up for ourselves, especially because parents won't always be around to save you and fix the problems for you.