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Is confronting my bully with voilence a valid option? If there is nothing else I can do?

24 Answers
Last Updated: 05/19/2020 at 2:38am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment


Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
May 5th, 2015 9:56pm
I do not think so. More violence is not productive. Also, chances are you might get beaten up. YOu could talk to your parents, friends, surperiors, or teachers or a councelor if you are still in school. Just don't let a conflict escalate even more!
June 17th, 2015 1:32am
Violence is never the answer. You are sinking the bully's level if you go to violence. Try and talk.
August 18th, 2015 2:54pm
Violence is never the answer. You should talk to a trusted adult like your parents, a teacher, a sibling, or a counselor. Things will get better, but not with violence.
September 19th, 2016 11:45pm
Confronting a bully with violence is never a valid or smart option. Bullies are bullies in the first place because they feel hurt in their personal lives. There are always things you can do, as well. Telling an adult is by far the easiest and most rational thing you can do. It raises awareness, puts more people on your team, and protects you. Don't "fight" a bully alone!
September 20th, 2016 8:24pm
Don't feed fire with fire, it simply creates a bigger flame. Communication is key! A bully usually feels alone and isolated in his/her feelings as bullying is a way to mask their own insecurities and depression in life. Compassion and communication helps wonders! There's many ways you can approach a bully to let him/her know about this app in a calm respectful fashion or even talking to him/her as we all need someone to talk to.
March 18th, 2015 12:57pm
We would never condone violence. The best way is to seek help from a peer and try and get support. It can be mentally draining I know this well, but rising above it and showing them you will not accept their behavious is the best thing, not easy but if you do not allow them to hurt you then they cant
April 20th, 2015 9:43pm
No you should never resort to violence. Violnece is never acceptable no matter what the circumstance is. It is also important not to sink to the same lever as the bully.
June 9th, 2015 11:07pm
Violence is not the answer, it is a very last resort. If your bully is being physically violent toward you, you have the right to defend yourself. Don't go looking for trouble though. Then you become the bully!
July 20th, 2015 4:50am
No it isn't a valid option. Unless it is self defense. No matter what violence is never the answer.
August 7th, 2015 4:04pm
Violence is never the answer. When it comes to confronting a bully, do it verbally and if you think that's not going to help much and make things worse turn it into an intervention for the bully. Never stand alone when defending yourself against a bully. The only time I feel that violence is necessary in any type of situation/confrontation is if it's self defense.
August 25th, 2015 1:53am
It is an option, but one with great risks to yourself physically and emotionally. Hurting someone else can take a toll on you and turn you into someone that you never wanted to be.
August 31st, 2015 8:00pm
Confronting your bully with violence is never a good option. It may cause them to be even more violent! And you dont know their situation. They could be an ass, sure... But what if they are mentally or physically harrased at home? Or they had traumas? Or they are having a disorder? Pity for them and avoidance is your strongest ally here. If you cant avoid them, seek help. It is not a shame and your physical and mental health are more important. You cant keep up with torture. Speak to a professional, counselor, teachers, colleauges, parents, friends... Anyone who can make you feel better and help. If you keep it in, they win. Hope my answer helps.
December 1st, 2015 1:36pm
Nope you should never confront a bully with voilence you should always try for help first but if not you should act like it ain't bothering you
December 15th, 2015 2:52pm
You should try too tell someone, like an adult to help you with the situation first, you shouldn't have to think that that is the only way to stop it. things will get taken care of. don't worry
December 27th, 2015 7:37am
Your number one priority is to make sure that you're safe and secure. If resorting to being physical is necessary, then that is a valid option. HOWEVER there are a number of questions you should weigh when considering violence; will it be effective or is it just a way to vent? Well it make you more safe? What are the possible alternative options, and are those options better? These questions and more should be discussed with an older person who you respect and who knows you and your situation, a parent or guardian is often best when possible. Any choice, being physical in particular, is best to make with the help of a respected adult who knows you. Good luck!
June 28th, 2016 9:26am
Refrain from hurting the other person..focus moe on defending yourself....try to seek some help from family or any authoritative figure
August 1st, 2016 10:14am
Violence will only make things worse. So try telling someone with authority about the bully and see if they can help you
December 11th, 2017 3:53am
On one hand, I want to say no. On the other hand, however, there are sometimes no other options available to deal with this kind of situation. If a bully ever handles you or threatens to hurt you, there is no shame in self-defense and standing up for yourself. But do not EVER strike anyone first, bully or not.
December 12th, 2017 8:15pm
It depends on the situation, if I feel threatened or scared, or if the bully is capable of hurting me physically I would report it to someone trustworthy.
April 10th, 2018 8:25pm
Violence should be avoided at all costs. Avoidance in general where bullies are concerned is best; don't lower yourselves to their level. You're better than that. Be the bigger person. If you feel endangered then tell someone, a parent, friend, teacher, police etc but don't engage in fights it will only cause more trouble.
April 23rd, 2018 5:06pm
Confronting a bully is a bad idea. Generally a bully does the bullying solely for attention, if you don't give them the attention they want they should back down.
October 1st, 2018 2:52pm
Confronting anyone with Violence is never a good thing to do so think carefully before confronting anyone, Think about ways you can confront someone bullying you without violence . There are ways to do this , show them that you are better than they are show kindness and try to understand why someone would be a bully, it could be because they are not happy with their own life , we never know what others are going through, it doesn't excuse their behavior at all , also make sure that you are not alone if you decide to confront a bully or bullies, also make sure that you have discussed this with everyone you possibly can. Work on ways you can also build your own coping skills and ways to handle the bullying , once a bully realizes you are no longer affected by them they tend to stop or move on to someone else, which isn't good either but if everyone would show the bullies that they are not affecting us then hopefully bullying will one day stop. It is very hard to take someone bullying us and I am so sorry this has happened too you and everyone else.
May 6th, 2019 5:38pm
It isn't necessary to confront a bully with violence because usually bullies are propelled by emotional forces . When you stand up for yourself in a neutral way and show that you aren't going to be belittled by the words of the bully then they hit a wall . Normally a bully doesn't want to continue trying to bully someone who is strong emotionally because this is their area of avoidance , and the reason they bully in the first place . When you stand up for yourself you are actually helping them to confront their own problem . But how you do this is important : it must be neutral , meaning the purpose of it is not to fight them but to demonstrate they cannot hurt you . Show that you are not an easy target and even forgive them , and they will probably get tired quickly .
May 19th, 2020 2:38am
There is usually always something that you can do. I feel that involving violence will only create more violence and cause harm to all that are involved, including yourself. I feel like you do not want to hurt anyone, nor be hurt yourself in a situation like this. I feel like if it were me, I would walk away, that is usually an option, as well as, asking for help from authority figures. You could always make a lot of noise and attract attention of others by yelling help or fire in order to divert the attack. Confronting a bully who is already violent could cause the bully to get worse. It is a good idea to avoid the bully at all costs.