Is it normal for my friends to always insult me?

38 Answers
Last Updated: 01/30/2018 at 9:25am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Beth Pausic, Psy.D

Psychologist

I work collaboratively with people to foster strengths in order to transform their behavior so that they live a life that feels purposeful and values-driven.

Top Rated Answers
dkotabarrios
April 4th, 2015 6:51pm
Some friendships have a natural humor to them that can include constant insults. However if is something that bothers you, you should tell your friends that you don't like it and maybe things can change.
Anonymous
January 12th, 2016 12:11pm
This is a difficult question to answer. It depends how you mean insult. There is a term that is always thrown around these days 'banter'. Yes insulting people in a joking way can be funny as long as the person you are insulting is your friend, understands its a joke, and you know they aren't offending you. However if they are isolating you individually and just insulting you constantly on serious things and if you say you don't like it and they continue then they aren't real friends and it is definitely not normal. It is a form of bullying and you deserve friends that respect you better.
cherrymikuh
April 8th, 2015 2:08pm
no it's not you deserve a self respect tell how you really feel about the insult her respond might be negative but at least you showd her you repect yourself
SaturdaysChild
October 27th, 2015 11:17am
No. It is not. There are only two options: 1. They are not your friends.(because friends don't do that) 2. They don't insult you, you are just too touchy.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2015 5:56pm
Normally if your friends are insulting you, they're not true friends. If you do not feel like you can confide in them for help and in times of need, and that they would feel they could do that with you too it's difficult to know if the friendship is worth holding onto. Evaluate your feeling towards your friends before making any hurried decisions.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2015 7:28am
sometimes its normal for friends to kid around, but if it gets to the point where it really bothers you, pull your friends aside and say "hey i know ur joking, but it still really hurts" and if they are ur real friends theyll stop
YourSupportingHalf
September 25th, 2015 4:11pm
If it is in a friendly way and you know it's the way your friends are then it's okay but if they are doing it to be mean that is not okay. Real friends don't belittle you with insults and what not. Friends are supposed to make you feel better about yourself and make you feel like you can trust someone.
Brittneym101
May 13th, 2015 6:01am
It just depends on how they're doing it. If it's constructive criticism then it may be normal, but if they're saying things that are hurting you instead of helping you then it's not normal and you should probably start to question whether they're your real true friends or not.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2015 3:52am
People who are close to us tend to take out their anger and frustration on us, but they only do that because I trust that person to never leave them. In some cases however they are actually being mean just to be mean. It's either that or they don't realize that they are being mean, if that's the case tell them because a relation gets no where without communication.
WaltzingRavens
January 12th, 2016 3:55am
No it's not normal. If your friend is doing so in a playful way, like "God you're awful!" after you beat them at a game, then it's just friendly banter. But if the same sentence is said with hostility, a sneer, or maybe a dangerous edge to their voice, it is NOT normal. Many many times you can think you have a good and true friend, when in reality they are using you as a punching bag. They may not mean to necessary pick on you because you are you, but simply because you are the one available for them to pick on. Trust yourself, if it doesn't seem to be working out then edge your way out of the relationship.
MsWhite
July 19th, 2016 12:15pm
Friendships are sometimes based on insults, inappropriate humour and what not. However, for somebody to do it to you ALWAYS doesn't seem very normal. In any case, I cant say anybody would feel good after being insulted all the time. You need to be vocal about how you feel about the insults.
Oliviahere
November 23rd, 2015 12:37am
No! Your friends aren't truly your friends if they are always insulting you. Of course every once in a while you will have fights. That is completely normal, but your friends should never ever make you feel bad or worthless. Trust me there is much better people out there
Anonymous
May 30th, 2015 2:18am
Firstly let's analyse the sentence. This is a form of emotional reasoning, so therefore is unlikely to be completely true. It is likely that they are teasing you, and if you have low self-esteem then you may be too self-conscious for their expectations. However if they genuinely are insulting you (the test is, would you want your parents to be witnessing it), then no it is not acceptable for them to be doing that, and the best thing is to end your friendships with them.
daylightsfading
September 22nd, 2015 1:19pm
Usually, friends insult each other in a friendly way. However, if you don't like it or feel like that bothers you, just tell them you don't appreciate that. They're your friends, they will understand. If they mean it with menace, then you should talk to them about it and maybe, distance yourself from them for a while.
Bigheart4all
October 30th, 2015 2:45pm
Real friends wont insult you. if you are in a long friendship with someone and you joke about each other then thats different but if they flat out insult you, then you need to tell them how you feel. thats what friendship is all about.
Lovealwaysxo
December 11th, 2017 6:25am
In short, no. Friends shouldn't insult you. If they are good friends they wouldn't want to make you feel bad. However, if they are joking, they might not actually mean you any harm. Even with joking, there comes a time when the joking insults have become too much. If you are concerned about this, try talking to one of them about it. Ask them if they mean any harm to you or if they're just joking around. Tell them how it makes you feel. I hope this helps (:
Peppens
January 30th, 2018 9:25am
Insulting in a funny way or insulting in a mean way? Personally I have a best friend of whom we both insult eachother, but it never gets to the point where we hurt eachothers feelings, we've even discussed about that, found out what both our limits were and where the line was, and went off that. If your friends are coming off mean, don't be afraid to be open about how you feel. Hope this helps!
MilesMilitus
April 17th, 2015 1:45pm
It is not normal. it is okay if what they are doing is constructive criticism but if they insult you just for fun then better confront them in what you feel. Sometimes people insult others to feel superior.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2015 9:29pm
Friends sometimes trade "barbs" with each other as a form of social bonding. Take into consideration the tone, intent and frequency. If it is constant, only directed at you, and seems to have a malicious intent, then no, it is not normal and they are not good friends. If it is casual jokes dispersed among the group then they are probably not singling you out.
Alanna1102
June 17th, 2015 11:25pm
I think that if it is truly offending you, it is not okay. Maybe your friends don't recognize that it is actually hurting your feelings when they insult you, as some people just do it to everyone but without meaning to actually hurt them, if that makes sense. Let them know that what they say hurts your feelings. If they continue to hurt your feelings after you ask them to stop, then i might recommend reminding them again, or finding other people to hang out with.
Anonymous
July 20th, 2015 2:10am
It depends on whether they insult each other in the same way, and if they think it's ok if you do the same to them. If so, that might just be their way of interacting. If not, they might be bullying you. Even if it is just their way of interacting, you shouldn't have to do it if it makes you uncomfortable, and if they really care about you, they'll cool it down if you ask.
Anonymous
September 21st, 2015 5:16am
it's not a healthy thing for them to constantly insult you and I think they'll stop if you tell them that it makes you feel uncomfortable. However, the question is.. are they insulting you maliciously or just teasing you? I think when you find the answer to that, it'll be easier for you to know how to deal with it :)
BooksAndTea24
April 4th, 2016 2:43am
No, there is a difference between sarcasm and insult. If it feels bad, or makes you unhappy, I would talk to them about it. It might just be a case of misunderstanding. However, if this is a constant issue that continues after you have asked them to stop, I would consider ending the friendship (or at least changing it in some way).
Anonymous
April 25th, 2016 2:04pm
too much isn't enough, but to speak up in a nice way is good. Everything in balance is ideal, but when it goes beyond the surface it needs to be fixed. But remember, stay nice and positive. Nothing is better than being nice :)
wonderfulWaves44
October 3rd, 2016 6:13am
Yes and no. Your friend may be sarcastic and not mean the insults. If not then he/she is not a true friend.
Kiar
October 25th, 2016 2:04am
No its not normal, friends don't insult, friends should make you feel comfortable and safe. They are not your friends if they don't do that.
Cheer4Ever
May 8th, 2015 6:51pm
That is not normal no. I would honestly think about your relationship with these friends of yours bc that is not helpful to always put someone down.
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2015 11:29pm
No, not really, unless that is how you and your friends communicate on a daily basis. I'd suggest perhaps speaking to your friends and asking why it is that they do this, explain that it upsets you and you are unhappy with their behaviour.
Emmaline
June 22nd, 2015 12:55am
If you have true friends, they are going to want what's best for you. They will look out for you and protect you. Unless in an obviously joking manner, insults to purposely put you down are signs of an abusive relationship with your friends.
chanelsdaisy
June 22nd, 2015 6:00pm
No it is obviously not. You do not need people who puts you down. It is better to stand alone than with people who insults you.