Why is it so hard for me to stand up for myself?

12 Answers
Last Updated: 11/20/2018 at 10:59am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
HeyoSarah
March 10th, 2015 10:29pm
I've stood up to my old best friend but she left me without even thinking, and it really hurt. I've always thought about it, but she ignores me and acts like I don't exist. I trusted her with everything, then she turned on me.
YourAngel22
May 5th, 2015 9:48pm
Probably because you don't feel confident enough to or have low self-esteem. Working on building your confidence should help you speak up and be able to stand up for yourself in the future :)
originalLion57
June 12th, 2015 9:56am
Some people are shy when it comes to conflicts, drama and confrontation. Confronting someone for treating you badly doesn't always result in drama, but it can happen and therefore makes some people hesitant to do anything when they are in those situations. You could also suffer from low self esteem and find it difficult to stand up to someone who intimidates you, which doesn't make you weak, but could mean you need to work on becoming better at standing up for yourself and not letting people step all over you.
HeyItsMeZoe
November 20th, 2018 10:59am
Sometimes standing up for yourself makes you feel like the people you are standing up to will judge or dislike you for 'confronting' them. You might feel insecure about yourself, want people to like you, or not have much confidence in your own values or opinions. However, standing up for yourself actually shows assertiveness, which many people regard as an honourable trait in a person. If they were reasonable people, they would actually respect you for the choice you made to stand up to them. Standing up to your peers, friends, co-workers, family, you name it - it's all pretty difficult. For whatever reason that you feel it is difficult to stand up for yourself, let me tell you: it is not shameful or rude to do so and, on the contrary, it is, in fact, brave and admirable, and shows you have confidence in yourself.
LiveLaughLove3
June 9th, 2015 3:12am
anxiety the fear of rejection the prussure can somtimes be to much for someone but u have to find it in your self to stand up
usefulStar85
March 10th, 2015 11:24pm
Sounds like you are afraid to speak up, sweetie when you have the chance hold your head high and say nothing and nobody will hold me back
dalya123
December 28th, 2015 12:13pm
Because you are afraid that it is going to get worse so try to stand up for yourself because if you did, your confidence will increase and you will be able to stand up for yourself especially if you are a shy person
magicalListener1
September 20th, 2016 6:07pm
Because you're scared you're going to say the wrong thing, I did that once, it sucked, it really did but I learned from my mistake, just give it a try!
BIPartisanPinUpGal
July 24th, 2017 9:54am
It's hard to stand up for yourself because it requires confidence and so often confidence is something that does not come naturally. It is something that has to be built up over time. It takes practice. The more you stand up for yourself, the easier it gets! You just have to believe that you're worth defending and then defend yourself!
compassionateButterfly91
November 10th, 2015 12:49am
sometimes we feel like we dont want to hurt others feelings or we want to please them so we dont say anything. it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself but it feels really good after
Danielle999
October 9th, 2017 12:51pm
It's hard to stand up for yourself because it requires confidence and so often confidence is something that does not come naturally. It is something that has to be built up over time. It takes practice. The more you stand up for yourself, the easier it gets! You just have to believe that you're worth defending and then defend yourself!
SupportiveSockMonkey
April 24th, 2018 5:19pm
It may be because you have low confidence and self-esteem. If you have been through difficult times this could be why. Just try and believe in yourself and remember you don't deserve to be treated negatively.