Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I overcome a major death in the family? It seems to be tearing my family apart.

17 Answers
Last Updated: 10/26/2020 at 10:52pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
May 18th, 2015 2:30pm
When a family member dies it can really effect the whole family and the truth of it is things never go back to the way they were. I experienced this last year when my nephew passed away and it ripped a whole in our family like nothing else. It really devastated us all and we really didn't know what to do or say. Don't try to rush things and to make things better. Sometimes forcing the matter is worse than just letting everyone grieve at their own pace. Give it time, give family members space, give yourself the time and space and take care of yourself.
June 8th, 2015 5:35am
As someone who's also dealt with this, I understand how you feel. There's nothing you really can do to completely overcome it except to give it time. I suppose it's not a black and white subject because everyone's family is different. Do your best to support your family and to keep positive, but don't feel bad for needing to take time for yourself to mourn if need be as well.
July 14th, 2015 4:30am
The moment you are realizing such a thing shows a lot about your character.In such case you need to be the strong one and call a family meeting and allow every person to share how they are feeling; and try to get to a solution in bringing them together one again
June 12th, 2015 9:59am
Therapy can be a great solution, because someone will listen and support you face to face and that can have a great effect in the long run. Family therapy! And if you have friends you can lean on in this hard time, then do that too.
October 27th, 2015 4:40pm
I understand what you and your family are going through. At times like this counseling and support groups often help bring families together.
December 1st, 2015 4:58am
A family death is hard to overcome. From my experience, it brings people closer together to really talk about their feelings with their loved ones. It's not something that can be worked out in a day. It will take time and a lot of support from those that love you.
June 7th, 2016 6:44pm
Taking the time to mourn the lost of a loved one is a very important step in the process of overcoming. Accepting that they are not there and clutching those moments you had with the lost close can help fill your mind with good memories and help move forward. All death is major to someone and it is not promised you will overcome it tomorrow, but day by day you move forward with hope and love.
July 12th, 2016 7:13am
That's a sad feeling but nothing here on planet earth is permanent. Death is ultimate reality of life we have to accept it. ...... Support your family in such difficult situations.
June 20th, 2017 6:34pm
I can identify with this. My father died by suicide about four months ago. It's hard to make sure you're taking care of yourself while also trying to keep your family together and healthy. Take time to focus on you and also set aside time to spend quality time with members of your family. Try and find a healthy balance that works for you. Support groups are also a great option for connecting with others who may also be going through similar experiences.
December 11th, 2017 6:35pm
Each person needs to grieve in their own way and it will take time to get used to the "new normal". Patience, love, remembrance, communication - all of these are helpful in dealing with the family situation.
July 3rd, 2018 1:07am
You don't get over the death of a loved one. You get through it. Life changes. You find a new normal. Always carrying the memories you shared in your heart. The path will have so many ups and downs but the important part is moving forward and opening up to love. Your loved one would want you to find peace and joy. Eventually it will come.
June 17th, 2015 4:05am
It is hard I agree, just stay strong and positive, members of your family could be stressed out and so could you but encourage them to communicate and share their feelings. Even if you are crying its better to cry together then alone. Wish you and your family the best!
November 10th, 2015 2:34pm
Please look for a family therapist/counselor to help all of you talk about it and to find out how to deal.
January 9th, 2018 2:04am
It is best that you allow everyone the time to grieve individually but to also remind each other that you are all in pain and are there for one another... hopefully after a while the mutual pain of the death will bring the family closer together rather than separate it.
April 16th, 2019 3:59am
I can understand it's so painful. So... painful! I'd share advice based on situation, but I am unable to do so. Knowing that the one who has passed is no longer in pain is one form of solace. Also, being the peace-keeper might help from time to time during fights. Of course, it may or may not work for you when you're having a hard time yourself, but please try never the less? Sending you hugs and loads of strength. I'm so very sorry you're going through that. I really hope you find some strength, and the memories of your loved one keeps you and your family going. :)
December 9th, 2019 11:37am
Grieving for the loss of a close person could be challenging and it takes time to heal and overcome the pain you shouldn't rush in healing it takes time and rushing the feelings wont help much. Surrounding yourself with friends and family could help as well as talking about your feelings. They could help guide you and offer help and advice. Studies have shown that grieving with someone who is also grieving for the same person could result to a healthier and natural way of emotionally overcoming a loss of a close person and also form a strong bond with the person you might be grieving with.
October 26th, 2020 10:52pm
One thing to remember when it comes to a death in the family or to someone you knew, is that every person will process the death differently. This includes the the manner in which they grieve and the length of their grief. This can be really hard of families especially if they don't understand why they are grieving the way they are. If there seems to be too mush stress within the family due to the recent death, a suggestion to grief counseling could be an option or even plan a time for the family to sit down and attempt to talk about how they are feeling.