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How do I try to make my parents proud, but also take care of myself when they have such high expectations?

8 Answers
Last Updated: 11/24/2020 at 2:22am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Kajsa Futrell, RTC


I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
March 12th, 2015 8:23pm
It would be my hope that if you were taking care of yourself, you would make your parents proud. I would like to think that parents would like to see their children happy and safe more than anything else.
March 13th, 2015 4:14pm
Parents expect the ideal; and often pressured by their peers as well. The feeling you are affiliated are surprisingly the same as theirs, sit down and have a talk with them.
August 17th, 2015 8:19pm
I believe that your parents would already be proud of you when you do take care of yourself. Although they would have such high expectations, when you risk your health and safety just to fulfill that would do you more harm than good and if they genuinely care about you, your health and safety is more important than their expectations.
February 27th, 2017 12:15am
I encourage you to talk to your parents. It's expected that parents have high expectations because most parents want to see their children become successful and well off. They care about your well being, but please do be vocal if you feel that their high expectations can be a burden.
March 13th, 2017 10:32pm
Here's probably the best way. Even if you cannot make your parents proud, (because some parents are hard to please), just know and understand yourself that you have tried your hardest. Even if you didn't make it, you still gave it your all and that's what matters most in the end.
October 8th, 2019 11:57pm
Remember that while your parents are important, YOU are important too. Remind yourself about what truly matters to you and how far you can go. Maybe your parents have helped you a great deal in your endeavors, maybe they have not, but in the end it is you doing the footwork to make things happen. Make sure you are proud of yourself and happy with with the results you are creating--that they are results that YOU seek, and not your parents, as in the end, this is your life and you want to make it worth living. If you are living the life you want to live and you are happy, then your parents are going to be happy and proud too.
June 29th, 2020 2:50pm
Parents are trying their best to make their children happy. However, not all parents are capable of being the near-to-perfection parents. They’re humans and not robots. We should remember that. Even if your parents have high expectations for you, that doesn’t mean that you are obligated to meet their expectations. A nice way you could deal with this matter along with your parents would be to discuss with them. Talk to them openly about how you feel about the whole situation and encourage them to talk openly to you from their personal perspective. In the meantime, try to find what activities, subjects, hobbies, etc. make you happy and content! Good luck.
November 24th, 2020 2:22am
Perhaps the best thing to do here could be to simply communicate with your parents. Be upfront about how you feel about wanting to make them proud but how overwhelming it can be when you feel like there is a lot of pressure put on you to meet their high expectations. Chances are there is already a lot that they are proud of you for, they just may need to be made aware that you are feeling overwhelmed rather than encouraged. It is also important to have self compassion and be forgiving towards yourself if you cannot always meet super high expectations. Better yet, take care of yourself by having realistic expectations of yourself rather than expectations that seem impossibly high or unnecessarily difficult.