How should I respond when one parent speaks badly about the other?
Last Updated: 04/09/2018 at 2:40am
Monique Bivins, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have a real passion for helping my clients to overcome life's obstacles . My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive, and interactive.
Top Rated Answers
I try and stay neutral or even silent in response in order to avoid causing any arguments between parents which will make matters worse.
That is in large part your personal choice. That said, you know yourself and your relationship with each of your pedants best. Do you think you could talk to them, each parent just with you, in an atmosphere of support and caring? If so, this might be a good option for you. If not, would you be interested in the possibility of working with a Doctor, mental health professional, or even a very trusted and supportive adult or friend? that might be an option for you, at least to have a safe space to vent about what sounds like a very challenging situation for you, to be sure. Can you try to be mindful to remember that no matter what one parent says about the other, you can have your own feelings and relationship with each parent, and you do, and you always will. What do you think is best for you?
I don't know what position you are in, but it is best to not tell the other. If you spread mean things, it'll spread like a wildfire. The only thing you should do is allow them to vent to you. I'm sure you've said things you didn't mean, and most of the time, they say bad things out of anger.
Wow, what a great question. One suggestion would simple be to say this: "Mom/Dad, it makes me feel uncomfortable when you talk about mom/Dad that way. I'd prefer you not do that anymore." Try that!
God, I have this everyday of my life... It's weird, annoying, disrespectful, hypocritical and just flat out stupid to do but, it happens. Try speaking up to that parent and tell them that 1, it's not okay for them to do that and that 2. you wouldn't like to hear that nonsense about someone on you care about and love.
From my experience, I had to talk to the one who was speaking badly about the other, and just be honest with them. You don't need to be in the middle of their issues, nor is it fair for them to put you there. Be direct with them and say it makes you feel uncomfortable and you don't think it's a mature thing to do. Depending on the situation and your relationship with the parent, you will want to change the wording around :)
I feel like it depends on your situation at home and what you are most comfortable with. If one parent speaks poorly of another in my household, there are times when I will speak up and there are other times I will stay quiet. The reasoning behind this is because certain times one parent is so angry that no matter what anyone says, their reasoning will remain the same. There's a highly possibility you may have to wait for them to calm down before saying anything. If you aren't comfortable speaking to them face to face, a letter can always help. From personal experiences (earlier on), this was much easier for me and the communication was much better between both parents later on. Hope this helps! Sending lots of love and hugs your way!
This is a tough one, because it really depends on the kind of relationship that your parents have. With my parents, I never doubted that they loved each other, so if I ever heard one of them say something negative about the other one, I knew they were more so expressing frustration about the situation than my other parent. I usually just tried to ignore what they said and not let it affect how I think of either of my parents.
Express to your parent that you don't believe it is appropriate to be talking negatively about your other parent to you.
You should tell them that are the adults in the house and if they wanna solve the issue they need to discuss it with each other rather than talking bad about the other.
Both parents have great qualities even though there may be certain characteristics that you do not like
you dont have to say anything to this, but that you´re not the right Person to talk to about this Topic! it´s a Thing between you´re parents and you dont have to get involved if you dont want to!
It's not fair for them to put you in the middle of their problems. Perhaps talk to them and let them know how it makes you feel. Hopefully they will listen.
Don't respond or react. Just nod to both of them if they are speaking ill of other. They have their frustrations built up for years and years for each other. They cant help it within themselves without affecting their kids. But what we can do is to sit with them and listen to them. Do not listen to decide what you should do next. Listen to them because the frustration they are carrying within must be lift up. The big decisions are no matter what in their plate to make. So we as kids cant really do much than to listen to them intently while they are saying. Do not add anything.
Remain neutral, ask the parent how long they have felt like that, And remind the parent there was a time when they did get one, explore that. there are two sides to most stories
Tell them! Say that you don't want to hear negative stuff about your parents, wouldn't watnt to hear it about the parent you're currently talking to and also don't want to hear it about the other parent. Good luck!
I can't speak for your specific situation but generally I'd say stay out of it. Your parents will settle their disputes without knowing your views and you knowing theirs. It must be really difficult sometimes being caught in the middle like you obviously are. Try to change the subject, or if they won't stop, stop engaging in the conversation, or better yet- leave the room entirely.
State to that parent that it is not okay to talk about so and so like that. Stand up for that person that is getting talked negavtively about
Talk to that parent in private, tell them what you feel about it, and tell them to stop, because it is not good
Tell them its making you feel awful and ask is that how relationships are suppose to be to show its effecting you but say it in a sad way not angry just sad because life depends on how you say things if you say it in a mad way it gets worst,happy way they don't take you seriously, sad way they try to help because of how you came to them if you come sad it shows wow I am hurting you and need to do better (be sure to make eye contact because its like wow you can sit up in my face and tell me something is wrong and its like u see everything or you've seen everything that has happened but here and there look away so it won't look seem as if you are taking control parents don't usually like that) (body language has a lot to do with this situation trust me)
Sadly that's normal for most every home. You as a child to both parents shouldn't have to play judge or mentor .... You can excuse yourself.... Or you can tell your parent that you love them both .... And wish nothing bad on either.... An suggest they get help...
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