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Tara Davis, Doctorate in Counselling Psychology
Psychologist
I have worked successfully with a wide range of difficulties. Nothing is more important than developing a warm, compassionate relationship with someone you can trust
Top Rated Answers
The classroom I was assisting was given an assignment -- Who would you go to for advice and why? All but two students as well as the head teacher immediately said their mother; a few of the elaborated on why. "She is kind, a great listener, supportive, and thinks of ways to solve things I could not expect." I sat back a little stunned. It had been three years since I've seen either of my parents, and I do not miss them.
For a long time, I feared a future decision I'd have to make: When my parents get old, am I required to take care of them, even though the memories of their abuse they inflicted in childhood disrupt me on a daily basis even now as an adult. I want to be a good person, a good daughter. I do not want to abandon anybody in my life. But I can already sense that seeing my aging parents regularly or even living driving distance from them is more than I can bear.
Do I hate my parents? I am not sure. I don't think it matters; I do not think I am obligated to "love" them either, whatever that means in your culture. But will I take care of them, especially as their health becomes more fragile? Only as much as I can without sacrificing myself -- my right to respect, my boundaries, my well being.
Absolutely. You are under no obligation to like your parents' parents. Just because they are blood relatives, doesn't mean you have to like them. Not really sure where that idea came from but I have cut toxic family members out of my life and never looked back. Your mental health and happiness are not worth sacrificing. Period. If you have to be around them, you can be hospitable but you do not owe them anything else. If anyone pushes you on the issue, stand your ground. You are not obligated to like anyone. Family or not. Especially if they are disrespectful in any way.
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