I'm an only child, and I worry about who I'll be with when my parents die. What can I do?
27 Answers
Last Updated: 02/06/2018 at 6:03pm
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Jennifer Patterson, LMFT
Art Therapist
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
I'm an only child too. I understand what you're saying but don't worry, you'll find someone worth spending the rest of your life with. Ask me where? In your mirror :)
The fact that you're an only child doesn't mean anything. You still have your friends, you will always be meeting new friends and you'll have your own family, You will always have somebody who cares about you and you'll never be alone.
Anonymous
February 2nd, 2016 12:43pm
Death is a natural phase of life. Death gives meaning to life. So treasure the time that you have? When they're gone... grieve, cry, lean on your friends and remember that at least you treasured all the time that you had with them , and now have awesome memories to fall back on? Acceptance is hard, but that's the only way we can get through it. Loss is inevitable... when it comes, and not before, you pass through the five stages of grief until finally you are filled with acceptance.. then there's no pain left, just nostalgia and a smile when you think of what you had the chance to experience.
Anonymous
May 1st, 2015 1:55am
I am an only child as well. I am hoping that by the time my parents leave this world I will be married so I will have a husband to be with. Do you have any other family members you are close to?
Anonymous
March 19th, 2015 12:57am
Define yourself by more than a relationship. Even if you won't be fulfilling the role of child, you'll still be a cousin, a niece/nephew, a grandchild, a friend, a teacher, a colleague, an acquaintance, a confidante, a lover, a volunteer... You are so much more than your relationship to one group of people. Take the time to define yourself as a unit on your own.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2014 3:45am
You're never alone in this world. If you don't have any friends you feel you can lean on for support, find a hobby! Get out there and discover a group of like-minded people who enjoy the same things you do.
You've surely still got some aunts, uncles, cousins... They probably won't let you all by yourself if your parents would die and you'd be alone. And maybe even good friends of yours would help you out
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2015 6:10am
I believe that your parents will make sure you are able to go through life able to handle things accordingly, they will make sure you grow up (if not already) to be a respectable woman or man. You'll be alright in the end with the help of others even after their passing.
The "easiest" way would be to find a partner and stay with that person. Friends are important, too but most of time you will not be their only priority in life.
Talk to maybe a school counselor, close relative (aunt, uncle, etc), or even your own parent! Chances are your parent has thought about the same thing and sitting down at the table with them and talking about this is a great Idea!
As an only child myself I have learned that I must stand up for myself and make my own life as i want to, so Thats one of the many reasons I want to start a family of my own... I understad that your parents are the most important part of your family, but friends can become family too.
Focus on investing time and energy into friend relationships. Be a good friend to others and those friendships can be stronger than any family bond.
What it means to be a good friend is in the eye of the beholder, but my general advice would be to dedicate time/attention to your friend and to be a support system for him/her. You can do this for many friends.
Do you have other family members who you are close to, such as cousins, aunts and uncles, or grandparents? Do you have any step or half siblings? How about family friends, or friends of yours who you are close to? All of these people who are important to you make up your family, even if they are not your blood relatives. The people who you love and surround yourself with will be the same people who are there with and for you even after your parents pass on.
Do you have any close friends or other relatives (cousins that you are close with)? Sometimes the best relationships don't even have to be with people you've known your entire life. I have a very good friendship with many people here on 7 Cups of Tea and they definitely make life much better. I've never met them, but they are always there. As long as you have someone you are comfortable with, you'll be okay. If you don't, you can always start by meeting new people or rekindling old friendships!
Hi there! Well I can say that you've been close to your parents and being left alone makes our heart broken. But at some point, life has to keep moving on. So try to make new friends, REAL friends in your life. Close tie with your relatives can help, too. Hope it helps.
It's normal to be afraid of the death of our loved ones, especially when we have to deal with it alone.
I'm sure, when the time will come, that your friends, and the friends of your parents will help you and support you! don't be afraid to ask a friend if you need to talk about your fears, you will probably discovered that others are afraid of the same things you are afraid of!
That's something you can talk to your parents about and your family, too. Voice your concerns and then you can talk through possible scenarios.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2015 1:03pm
m not a single kid i have elder sister and my father died and i live with my mother and my sister left me in my hard time and she gave her verdict to my mother that after my mother she will not take responsibilities that was really painful but m still fighting how to deal with it and i dont have issues that in future there will be anyone for me or not. i survived till now i will survive.and u too just believe in god and in urself
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2014 11:27pm
Talk to your parents about it. I am sure they have plans for who you will live with if were unfortunately to ever happen.
This is a disturbing thought for most of us irrespective of being an only child. But time has the power to heal all. Keep your friends close and keep in touch with your extended family- uncles, aunts, cousins. No one can replace parents but having a close friends and family would help you deal with your loss
Anonymous
August 31st, 2015 11:53pm
Talk to your parents about how you feel. Try to branch out places where they could use your volunteer time and that will help you build a different type of family.
Anonymous
September 1st, 2015 6:26pm
Most parents leave information on wh will take care of their children in their will. You may want to ask your parents about who you will be with if they pass away, or if they have a plan.
You can relax, maybe you haven't got brothers/sisters, but you still have friends, and that's the family you get to choose.
Some things you can do is go out and invent who you are now. Find some hobbies that make you happy. Do things for you and no one else but please keep it legal
You can either count on your legal guardians or you can count on yourself. Your choice. Just don't worry about it for now dearie.
You can try to become as independent as posible, to make your parents more proud of you, and also to build self-confidence, and, obviously, to take care of yourself when the hour comes.
Making close friends is always helpful. Its hard for me to make friends, and my fiance is my only friend, But if my parents died and I had no one else, I would be more then happy to just have him.
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