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Is it my fault that my parents argued all the time and now hate each other?

28 Answers
Last Updated: 09/07/2021 at 8:49pm
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Top Rated Answers
May 31st, 2015 3:54pm
It isn't your fault at all. Your parents have issues between them and they maybe just didn't fit together, and that isn't your fault it didnt work out.
June 7th, 2015 8:17pm
No. That in itself is a complete answer. It's not your fault. Relationships are complicated and whatever happens between your parents is between them, and it's not your fault. Always remember that even though they might not love each other anymore, they still love you.
April 28th, 2015 2:15am
No it isnt. We play a big part in our parents life, but that does not make us responsible of them. They are grown ups and thus are the owners of their own decisions and actions. You are your own person and should never feel like you caused someone elses actions.
May 14th, 2015 4:43pm
no it is completely not your fault that they argue with each other and hate each other... its their personal thing and you need not to blame yourself
April 7th, 2015 9:02pm
I wouldn't think that you had much to do with the arguing, parents usually argue over other things such as finances, bills, or in worse case scenario, about other people.
June 29th, 2015 5:37pm
It's never your fault so don't blame yourself. Everyone has arguments so your parents are no different and it's not something you should be afraid about. I hope things get better soon
July 20th, 2015 11:35am
No, that is absolutely not your fault. Please don't feel guilty about it. You did nothing wrong at all.
September 8th, 2015 3:47am
I'm sure you've heard this before, but it really is true: no. Your parents argued for their own reasons, not because of you.
September 15th, 2015 7:07am
No. I could not say no enough. There is no situation where the answer is anything but a flat and firm no.
October 27th, 2015 12:11pm
No, it is completely down to your parents. If your parents are arguing. it is because they are having disagreements. Don't scape goat yourself. And it would only be natural that you get caught up in these disagreements time to time, because you are an important part of their life. But don't blame yourself for getting caught up in it, because it is not your fault.
November 9th, 2015 2:44am
Its never your fault that your parents argue. Marriages and relationships have UPS and downs and sometimes, fights happen. They also may turn away from each other. Dont think its your fault, because its not. I promise.
November 15th, 2015 4:09am
Of course not!
January 25th, 2016 3:57am
Of course not, you cannot blame yourself for your parents' crumbling relationship. Usually people have problems within themselves and that is the root of hate, not a third party.
February 2nd, 2016 1:45pm
No it is not your fault at all. Parents relationships are often strained by many other pressures, such as work or money- every adult has these issues at some point.
February 16th, 2016 8:20am
Definitely not! People, including parents, argue all the time and it has nothing to do with the children. Sometimes, there's just misunderstandings and they don't stop to see how it is affecting everyone around them,
July 12th, 2016 9:54am
We can never be responsible for how other people feel. We sometimes have trouble controlling our own feelings. We can take responsibility for our actions. My parents fought a lot and I felt I was responsible for a long time and for a lot of reasons. The truth is that it isn't fair of them to fight and use their anger against one another because it hurts you. Love is a natural feeling. We have to work hard to learn to hate and once we do we have to work even harder to learn to stop. How other's feel, even people you care a lot about, isn't your responsibility. Adults are responsible for how they express their feelings. Find a safe person to talk to about your feelings. You don't have to carry their anger yourself. I hope this helps. I wish you peace. ~J
September 12th, 2016 8:38am
This is a common thought in kids who's parents are going through a difficult time. Adults in a long term relationship always have rough patches and kids are unlikely to be the fault of this so don't feel like it's your fault. It's a difficult situation and nobody likes hearing arguments, certainly not from your own parents but again, this is not uncommon and I am sure they will find a way to resolve it so give them some time. It can also help to talk about this with a family member who knows your parents.
October 4th, 2016 11:42am
Not at all. Parents argue, bicker, fight, discuss and resolve problems in a number of different ways. Whatever is happening at any given time has nothing to do with you. Even if it is about something you did and they have a disagreement about it, they'll be angry at the outcome of the discussion not about the action the discussion was about. I used to hear my parents argue all the time before the divorce and at the time I had thought the same, I must have done something. Reality was, they were angry at each other and even if my name was mentioned, they were upset with each other and failed to find a compromise or resolution. Some couples don't know "how to fight" in a way that reaches a calm understanding or resolution. Please remember, never your fault, they are angry at the situation.
October 18th, 2016 10:04am
No, it is not your fault, sometimes it just happens with couples that they argue and split up after that.
January 10th, 2017 12:44am
No, it is absolutely NOT your fault! They both love you, but their arguments are between themselves only. It doesn't matter what they're arguing over, it is purely between them and their opinions clashing. If you're really worried, maybe go speak to both of them (separately or together, whatever you feel more comfortable with) when everyone is calm, and tell them how you feel. That could help with them not arguing when they're around you. Good luck, and remember, you are loved!!!
May 22nd, 2017 7:37am
Of course not! Whatever goes on between your two parents has nothing to do with you. They both love you equally and wouldn't give you up for the world. No matter what, one thing they can agree on is that they love you. It's never, ever your fault.
June 6th, 2017 8:38pm
Short answer, no. It is very common for parents to fight, given the amount of stress they may be under from work or in the relationship. You must remember that your parents love you and are blessed to be raising you in their lives. If this is not the case, you must contact the appropriate helpline to improve your situation. Remember, although it may not be a nice thing to listen to, it is common for people to argue and it is never your fault, especially when it comes to your parents.
July 10th, 2017 1:17am
No, it isnt. Parents tend to have disagreements over many things, usually for such things as money or jobs.
February 26th, 2018 6:45pm
Usually, parents' reasons to fight are financial or their own personal business. It is true that the child may be one of the reasons also, but don't assume they fight because of you. I'm sure your parents love you and they would never do something to hurt you.
July 24th, 2018 10:21am
No,its never the kids falt...with or without children people are going to grow apart it just matters when and who it effects, alot of the time parents dont realize the stress the cause for the kids
September 4th, 2018 3:25am
Absolutely not. It can be easy to feel that way because it's hard to tell what's actually going on. Damaged trust, low capacity for joy and pain and so many other things cause relationships to crumble. The fact that your parents argue and now hate each other has nothing to do with you. No matter what you do, how you act and what grades your get should not affect your parents' relationship with each other. Blaming yourself for the issues between them is wrong. Have self-compassion. You care for your parents and want the best for them. Broken parent relationships are really hard on the children, but don't blame yourself for it.
April 6th, 2020 7:52pm
It is never your fault when parents argue. Even without much context, I can tell you that your parents love you very much, and that there are a lot of factors that play into how people feel about one another. Sometimes, people aren't compatible and that's completely okay. Life takes it course to open up new opportunities when things don't work out the way you expect at first. You parents care about you deeply, and if you are ready to, you can talk to them about your worries and how you've been feeling. If you want to talk to someone anonymously, I'd love to chat. Know your worth and don't blame yourself for things that are outside of your control.
September 7th, 2021 8:49pm
It's not your fault if your parents argue all the time, but rather recognize that is a problem between them that they have. I've noticed a lot of the time the parents try to or tend to blame the kid for the problems rather than admitting to themselves what the real root of the problem is. It is important to remember these things because they can become even bigger guilt over something that will never be our fault. A lot of the time these parents don't even realize what they're doing and really asking them and wondering about it will help to give you that clarification that you or anyone might need.