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is it normal and right for my parents to have so high expectations of me?

23 Answers
Last Updated: 09/14/2020 at 3:44am
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Stacey Kiger, LPC

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Top Rated Answers
May 21st, 2015 4:44am
That depends on what you mean by 'high expectations'. Children are their parents' greatest treasures so it's normal that parents want their children to be the best they can possibly be. That said, if they are putting way too much stress and pressure on you, then that becomes a problem.
April 11th, 2015 11:30pm
All parents have high expectations for their child and I think that's okay but don't let it upset you, just do your best and strive for being a better version of yourself everyday. Be good and do good. I'm sure you won't be disappointing anyone, not even yourself.
February 29th, 2016 12:19pm
Hi there! It seems you've been feeling a little under the pressure of your parents' expectations. From personal experience, I'll say that if one's parents expect a lot from their child, that means (for the most part) that they care about their kid. A lot. However, it can be stressful trying to live up to their standards. Most parents will listen to their children if they clearly communicate what has been bothering them. Is it normal for parents to have high expectations? I don't know for sure. Is it right? Well, caring for your children is definitely right, although sometimes the way parents carry that out may not be the most effective or healthy. Hope that helps!
January 19th, 2016 1:52pm
It's natural for parents to set high expectations though it can't really be justified as right or wrong. It's just an expected human feeling seeing as how they always want what's best for their children. I understand that sometimes the high expectations that they have can be stressful and suffocating ; it may even clash with your own ideals and ambitions. You can try and have a chat with them to discuss your own goals and try and tell them how you feel with the constant pressure hanging over your head. Stress can be good in some cases, but it can also cause you to underperform. Try your best, but remember that it's okay to let people down sometimes, as long as you tried your best. And keep trying your best. It's impossible to satisfy everyone. Reassure your parents that even when it seems as though you have not hit the mark they have set for you, that you are doing your absolute best. Keep in mind that everything they do is well intentioned, and that they just don't want you to make the same mistakes they did. They're just watching out for you. Appreciate that but never let it get to you or discourage you. Tell them how you feel too .
May 24th, 2016 1:05pm
Parents often have high expectations of their children. Sometimes its a way of proving to themselves that they've done a good job as a parent, or even to show off/brag to others. So in terms of normal, I'd say yes. If that's right or not depends on whether it helps or harms you. Either way, I hope you find success and peace!
March 14th, 2016 9:52am
yes it normal, but personally i don't think its right they are just want you to do your hardest even if that means pushing you. It's not right because you can get really stressed.
March 6th, 2018 10:23pm
Of course! They're your mom & dad. They're possibly the only two people in the world who believe you will ever exceed your own limitations and achieve greatness! I think a lot of parents have a variety of standards for their kids because they feel entitled to. and that's simply because they have raised you and have tried to give you the best quality of life they could. I think this is why a lot of the times kids feel afraid of being a utter disappointment for their parents. but in reality, you have to learn to overcome that to just simply learn to deal with life obstacles. Your parents have already lived their life. It's now your turn. Sometimes, parents are just cheering you on and just want you to do the best you can.
February 23rd, 2015 3:16pm
Absolutely, as parents they aspire for you to be the best they believe you can, even if that means pushing you in ways you don't want to be pushed.
February 23rd, 2015 8:32pm
Every parent wants the best for their kids, so yes. However, it can be stressful to live up to such expectations. If you are feeling stressed you can talk to them about this.
April 10th, 2015 6:13pm
Yes, because parents always want the best for their kids. So it's normal that some parents have more expectations on their kids than others.
June 5th, 2015 7:07pm
I think that most of the parents have quite normal expectations. Sometimes they want to keep you busy to prevent you from getting addicted to alcohol, drugs or other stuff. Naturally, we, as teenagers, think the expectations are extremely high, but now, when I look back, I see that their "high" expectations made me the person I am now :) Yes, there are parents that have higher expectations than they should have, but most of the time the best solution is to talk to them about it or visiting a psychologist with your family is a great solution too, since the psychologist is neutral and can tell whether it's only you thinking they have extraordinary expectations or they actually do have them.
June 29th, 2015 3:58am
Parents just want whats best for their kids. We are old and have made our own mistakes and don't want our kids to make the same mistakes, or any. Its hard for a parent to let go and just let our kids get hurt. So what looks like high expectations may just be a parent whos struggling to let their child go.
September 8th, 2015 9:10am
It is normal but not always right for parents to have high expectations for you. Normal because every parent only wants the best for their child, they try to guide their children and lead them in the right direction but in the end it is up to the child to work hard and build a good future for themselves so some parents can be strict or very pushy to try and get their child to work hard. Some people do well with the pressure and achieve their goals, other people can feel suffocated and can't take the pressure which impacts the person in a negative way no matter how loving and good their parents intentions are.
March 3rd, 2016 5:15am
Most parents have high expectations for their kids and I think that its vary normal. However if you start to feel under to much pressure you might want to talk to someone.
April 18th, 2016 3:27pm
well i think all parents have dreams and wishes to see their children successful and happy but on the other hand one cannot ignore individuality. You are what they are not and you are in your shoes so you can better see what the situation is, It is good to discuss problems and ask solution from parents as they are more experienced and know ups and downs of life. But if you think your parents expects you to be someone you are not or do something that you cannot do and does not interests you, better think twice before doing that. Like some parents want their child to be a doctor but he or she has germs to be an artist so one should go after his or her dream for sure, because sometimes it is about your life. Sometimes you have to sail your own boat. Keep an eye and listen to everyone but the moment you feel its not your thing think before you follow something blindly.
April 19th, 2016 11:24pm
Parent normally have high expectations from their children because they see and appreciate the potentials they see in you. If you feel pressured though because of their expectations, talk to them and open up to them what your feelings are regarding these expectations. It will give them not only your point of view but also from your talk they will get a better idea of what kind of family support you would need to achieve your goals and your dreams.
July 19th, 2016 4:20pm
Yes its is but that also shouldn t let them make you live under pressure to follow up their expectations because you re an individual you can fall at anytime but it ll be pleasing for you and your parents of you just never stop getting up to reach out to the top!
September 5th, 2016 8:38pm
Yes it is normal for parents to have high expectations. You are their kin and they want you to have the world so they set these high expectations, cause they know you can do it. And they want you to do it.
January 22nd, 2018 8:09pm
They, more than having, they're desiring for you to follow whichever plans they have for you. They already lived through your age and they probably know a lot about what expects you in your life so, yes, it's perfectly normal they hope you're the best around. But again, that's a desire more than a fact. Who decides on this, is you.
May 22nd, 2018 4:08pm
It is definitely normal but right...that depends. If it is something you're capable of then sure it's okay, they're just trying to push you to achieve your potential, if you're not, which is not a bad thing at all, then its wrong because they're just putting unnecessary pressure on you.
May 19th, 2020 10:22am
Well, yes and no at the same time. Every parent expects the best out of his/her child. Why would a parent expect his or her own child to be not good at something. But what perhaps is wrong is to push these expectations aggressively onto the child. Not everyone can be good at everything. Sometimes somethings are just aren’t meant for us. What we can onnly do is try to meet our parent’s expectations the best we can. And if we are not able to, it is okay. Giving in 100% is what matters. Also, what my 100% effort is might differ from yours, so, never compare your own effort with someone else’s.
June 16th, 2020 5:52am
It's normal for parents to have really high expectations for you because they just want the best for you. Sometimes parents feel like they didn't achieve as much as they wanted to in their life and don't want you to feel that way as well, so for them; the sky is not your limit because there's outer space after that. Afterall there are footprints on the moon but you can always do your best and try your hardest in everything you do. Trust me, even if you feel that you didn't do to well on something, you feel way better knowing that you did your best. :)
September 14th, 2020 3:44am
Parents are, in most cases, going to want what they feel is best for you. If you do not feel like their beliefs and yours align, it's important to have an open conversation with them as to what your expectations are of yourself. It would also be good to set goals for yourself and share them with your parents, so that you can both see the progress you're making towards your goals, whatever they may be! In summation, it is normal for your parents to have high expectations for you, but along the way, it's also important for you to talk to them about what you want out of life and make sure their goals for you aren't overshadowing yours for yourself.