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Why am I not good enough for my mother?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 11/05/2018 at 1:40am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD


I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
August 18th, 2015 6:18pm
Usually, we feel that we aren't good enough for our parents, that they are always unhappy with our actions and no matter what we do, they'll end up screaming at us. This though, it's not your fault. They are taking their own frustration out on you, and it's not because you are not "good enough", it's because they aren't good enough for themselves, and that reflects on how they treat you. There's nothing wrong with you, you are good enough.
August 10th, 2015 10:10am
You are good enough, your mother doesn't see that. Today's generation is expected a lot of since every year society is changing. Your mom may have expectations that seem impossible. Don't blame yourself. Have a conversation with her and have patience.
January 5th, 2016 12:23pm
Because parents sometimes create these fictional characters based on their past experiences and try to mold us into them. When they realize we are actually human beings with the potential to develop into countless possibilities they get disappointed and we end up not being good enough. It is actually the parent's problem not yours. Parents are humans too.
August 22nd, 2016 7:27pm
Your mother may have expectations that influence her way of responding to you. You need the unconditional love of your mother, but the truth is, most parents can´t give this to their children. Try not to take it personally, in the way that you don´t blame yourself for it. It´s normal to feel disappointed/sad/angry about it.
April 24th, 2018 5:45pm
You are good enough for your mother. You don't have to be 'good enough' for anyone. I have learnt the hard way that sometimes family doesn't mean blood and it's difficult to get around it. I felt like that for years and in a way I still do. She may feel that you aren't good enough but that doesn't make it true.
March 14th, 2017 11:17am
You are good enough. Period. Just as you are. Sometimes for whatever reason, our loved ones aren't able to show us that we're appreciated and accepted. In those moments we are challenged to love ourselves.
February 25th, 2015 7:29am
Perhaps she has certain expectations that you feel you cannot fulfill. These feelings are completely normal that every child feels towards their mothers. Just remember that your mother is only setting these expectations because she wants you to become a successful person in life, and she only images yourself as the best self you can be. Whether you can live up to those expectations is 100% your choice, only you can dictate who you want to be.
November 5th, 2018 1:40am
It sounds like you feel that your Mother is judging you. Is she a judgmental person, in general? If so, she might be judgmental towards everyone, not just you. A person who is deeply judgmental usually feels very inadequate in themselves and might tend to project their inner reality of pain outwards onto others. This is hurtful when we allow ourselves to take it personally. Sometimes it helps to just observe the other person as they express or project their pain. This is more useful than taking it on as a personal insult towards yourself. Your Mother's judgment of you does not mean you are inadequate. It means, she feels dissatisfied with herself. And she feels she is lacking in her own life. Don't fall into the trap of believing her projection applies to you. You can take responsibility for being good enough for yourself.
June 9th, 2015 10:53pm
I am not good enough for my mother, because I am not yet the me that she thinks I deserve to be.....
September 21st, 2015 7:02pm
This is a question many people ask. I once questioned my worth as well. What I have found helps is to change my mindset. Instead of asking "Why am I not good enough for my mother?" you can use positive affirmations such as "I show compassion in helping my loved ones understand my dreams" and "My loved ones love me even without fully grappling with my dreams." Mother, child relationships can be complicated. The est thing to do is to find peace in even the toughest of situations.
August 1st, 2016 1:58am
Maybe because she just thinks that you are greater than u think u are, since she is your mum. But what she fails to see is that you are only human and you can fall at times and you can be better at times but there will also be times where you are weaker and during that times you will need her help to get up back. Try talking to her and letting her know this.
August 23rd, 2016 1:49am
What would make you think you're not good enough for your mother? Has she ever said or done anything to make you think that?
December 7th, 2015 3:25am
I am good enough for my mother! My mother has raised me to be a respectful, kind, giving and to always do the right thing. My mother has been the best role model I could have ever asked for and I feel extremely fortunate to have her in my life still.
November 15th, 2016 1:16am
Some people have self worth issues themselves and take it on others by projecting their expectations on them. Know you are good enough just because you exist, and try to communicate with your mother about this issue. I hope this helped.
August 1st, 2017 12:21am
Some mothers are just like that. It's important to not take such treatment personally as it is rarely anything that you have done and rather your mother's problem. As long as you keep being you and are happy with that, than your mother should be too. Please talk about how you feel to her and tell her that you feel unappreciated too.