Why do they always make me feel guilty?
Last Updated: 04/17/2018 at 10:46am
Christina Hussami, MSW, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Strengths-based, solution-focused therapist focusing on helping clients find life balance and navigating down their own path leading towards overall well-being.
Top Rated Answers
Some people are not aware of the affect they have when they talk about something. In fact, whether someone deliberately sets out to make you feel guilty or not, it doesn't have much to do with them. How we take something in has all to do with us. If you feel guilty because someone else says something, take a look at it. Don't just sit with or accept the feeling as truth. Guilt can do nothing more than bring you down so if that feeling comes up the best thing to do is see why you feel it applies to you. No one can make you think or feel a certain way without your approval.
Soemtimes, people just are jealous of you and want to let you down ....just don't care about them. You're unique and one of your own kind....don't feel guilty. Stay strong
Manipulative people don't mean what they say. They say anything to get people to do what they want. Then there are the times people don't mean to make you feel guilty but you feel guilty anyway. I feel guilty about everything that goes wrong around me. Whenever something goes wrong or someone around me looks upset I conjure up some way it probably ties back to something I did. I didn't realize everyone else doesn't feel this way until recently. I have a tendency to put things together in new ways which is great for creativity & not good for blowing things out of proportion. My mom told me I should help others rather than being a burden on the world. For the longest time, I felt like a burden on the earth. I felt guilty for things I couldn't control like the challenges I was born with. I was told by multiple people that I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being & everyone would be better off w/o me & I believed it. Instead of being proud of how far I'd come I felt guilty for being alive. I felt guilty for every minute of people's time I spent, every time I earned something they could've had instead (even if I worked harder,) every dollar of my parents' money I spent as a kid, every tiny mistake I made doing things I was never taught how to do but felt the need to do to make me worth having around...I started seeing things differently after helping someone through a rough time. I realized even though I'm not perfect I'm worth having around. I still feel guilty for a lot of things because I have a hard time telling when people like having me around & when they're annoyed w/ me but it's getting a lot better. The most important lesson I've learned is everyone deserves to be alive no matter where they're at & how many mistakes they've made. No one should ever feel guilty for existing. We need to erase the concept of good enough & not good enough people from society. Everyone is a gift to the world in their own we. We need to appreciate people, not guilt them for being who they are
They need someone to pin the blame on. Its easier for them to live their lives knowing that someone has that burden on their shoulders that they should be carrying.
"They" (assuming you're talking about everyday people) always make you feel guilty because they don't want the blame on themselves. Due to that, they, unfortunately, blame it on whoever they can, which, in this case, is you.
Some people just like to put other people down to make themselves feel better about their own problems and other times, they may not even realise what they're doing. It may help to speak to the people or person that's making you feel this way and ask them why they do what they do.
Dealing with guilt can be overwhelming. What are they doing that makes you feel guilty? Do you feel like talking about it?
Sometimes, people just are jealous of you and want to let you down ....just don't care about them. You're unique and one of your own kind....don't feel guilty. Stay strong
“To think in terms of either pessimism or optimism oversimplifies the truth. The problem is to see reality as it is.” You are not guilty, they are just confused. Help them to see the reality with love and compassion.
Guilt comes from the inside. Some of the worst criminals of our history have never shown guilt, no matter how many people "made" then feel guilty. In truth, guilt is a good thing.... to some extent. Like all emotions it serves a purpose. However people who are more vulnerable to feeling guilty can often be exploited by others. If someone catches on to you being a "Guilt-sink" they can easily just shovel away all their guilt into you. That is a form of abuse and you should explain to these people why it is wrong before distancing yourself from them.
Guilt is a strong force. Many people use it to manipulate others. They find out how to make you feel guilty and then, when they need you to do something, they rely on your guilt. If someone makes you feel guilty all the time it could be that they are quite a manipulative person. But don't think of a person as manipulative if they've only ever made you feel guilty once.
They may be unknowingly cruel, they may attempt to be controlling you by making you feel guilty so they can guilt trip you into doing or giving something to them, without knowing your specific circumstances it is difficult to tell. There are some fantastic therapists on this site that you can get in contact with so they can help you figure this out.
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