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Why does everyone seem to want to tear each other down all the time?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 08/17/2021 at 8:29am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling


I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.

Top Rated Answers
January 13th, 2015 7:22am
People tear each other down for a few reasons, one, they can be insecure and feel better when others are the same way, two, they can be threatened by them, three, that is what they are taught, or four, they want to fit in with the crowd.
April 1st, 2015 7:05am
If people aren't happy Within themselves, they can feel angry, hard done by or frustrated. These heavy emotions impacts on ones daily dealing with others. Their interaction is driven by these negative emotions so insulting, contradicting, belittling someone etc gives them a sense of satisfaction as someone else apart from them also feels this pain of low self esteem, hurt, injustice, anger etc. They feel they have a right to behave in this manner as its a cruel world so suck it up! Not EVERYONE does this. If you at peace with yourself and accepting of who you are, this will not be the way you react on an everyday basis! Bitterness is a decaying emotion. Never let these people get to you as they are in enough pain and need to find peace! Adesa
June 18th, 2015 3:33am
Because we're insecure. We are SO insecure and we hate ourselves. We get scared when we see someone who even just SEEMS happier, more successful, or a better person than we are and we want to hurt them, or 'knock them down a peg' so we don't feel threatened anymore. Personally, I think a true mark of a confident and great person is when they just encourage and share in the happiness of others, even if they are better than the person. Either way, it's the poison in selfish people's lives that we can get rid of.
April 16th, 2015 3:24pm
There could be many reasons but the two most common appear to be reputation and confidence. People tear others down so that they can seem cool to others or seem like a badass. Others will tear other people down to make themselves feel good about their own problems and their own lives.
July 26th, 2016 4:37am
People who try to tear others down are probably hurting in some way. They want to find worth but putting others down. By putting others down they are finding validation that they are better or are worth more. People like that usually have low sec esteem or feel worthless.
January 8th, 2018 10:05pm
I think it’s because they are feeling insecure about themselves. By tearing others down they can try to see themselves in a better light. This may be because they’re insecure or angry at themselves.
June 25th, 2018 12:29am
from a personal experience, I think people always "tear" others down simply because of jealousy. a person would hate on another person and whatever they can to destroy him/her just because they want their job, car, or whatever. people worked hard for where they are now and a lazy person would just hate them for that why?
January 19th, 2016 9:16am
Everyone carries Materialistic things as priority and Ego as the weapon, this will block them from respecting others needs and hence everyone tries and acts selfish.
July 11th, 2016 12:59pm
Unfortunately sometimes that's the easier route and humans tend to find it easier to hurt each other than to love. You can help though. It starts by ending the cycle here, now. Small baby steps start at home, help your neighbor, help a stranger on the street, say a kind thing to a random person who you see. Change can begin anytime anywhere and at anyplace. It starts with you and it can make a huge difference.
December 20th, 2016 4:53am
Sometimes it can feel as though that is true. Empathy and compassion for the individual who is behaving in that manner help me. By understanding that there is something inherently inappropriate with those actions, I simply wonder what is driving the person to be seemingly insecure or even cruel. It may not or may not change their behavior, but it does a great deal for me to lessen the effects of his/her actions. Taking a moment to step back and realize it has nothing to do with you is freeing. You don't have to react. You can simply hope they see the need for accountability and a more positive approach in the future.
March 15th, 2016 9:54pm
People have grown past the old rule of "If you can't think of something nice to say, then don't say anything at all". We are now "enlightened" and feel everyone is entitled to our opinion. And our opinions matter because people have such over inflated egos and feel, OF COURSE, others NEED to know.
June 19th, 2017 2:57pm
Pride is a beast that is ever growing in all of us. It can never be satisfied. As it grows inside, and little by little, devours our morality, our humanity, we find ourselves doing things like that.
July 3rd, 2017 5:33am
Often because everyone is struggling with something. It's often a way of making themselves feel better.
June 23rd, 2020 3:49pm
Sometimes people do not know how to process their emotions, and instead feel the need to project outwards to make themselves feel better. The most important thing you can do is be understanding of other people's situation, and actively encourage others to lift each other up rather than tear them down. We all can accomplish so much more when we work together rather than against one another. When you see others tearing each other down, I encourage you to not participate and instead try to shift the conversation to something more positive, something that will uplift those around you. Being the positive light for just one person can make an enormous impact.
February 13th, 2015 9:58am
Its a case of jealousy they want to feel better so the only way they think of is to make that person beneath them , They think they have more rights than others and cannot accept that someone is above them. They don't want to damage their pride
April 30th, 2015 9:00pm
I believe that people do this to make themselves feel better but then again no one could truly know considering that we are all different people.
April 12th, 2016 5:26pm
People love to critique and criticize. If they aren't tearing themselves down, they're doing it to someone else.
September 26th, 2016 11:48pm
Some people want to feel better about themselves and think it's right to hurt others. Many people that do this have either been hurt or betrayed
August 17th, 2021 8:29am
We live not just in a society in which being number one is incredibly important, but also a time in which there is a great deal of uncertainty. The tearing down is part of the process that people who want to achieve the number one status (in just about anything these days) and also retain some degree of certainty about whether they will get to number one in a time of great change. The lack of certainty, and the attendant anxiety, makes people insecure, and tearing down another human is a way to achieve a, albeit temporary, degree of security and therefore certainty. Getting to the next level on the path to being number one has many stages, and so the tearing down continues and repeats at every stage of this quest to be number one.