Why doesn't taking care of myself come naturally to me?
Last Updated: 03/12/2021 at 6:12pm
Shruti Naik, MS in Counselling and Psychotherapy
I'm passionate about providing a non-judgmental & supportive platform to my clients to help them understand & accept themselves & overcome any emotional issues troubling them.
Top Rated Answers
Self-care. They make it sound so easy. Like all there is to it is just skincare and drinking water. In my experience it's not easy. Because there are so many things to consider! How am I feeling? Am I tired? Am I hungry? Does eating this will make me feel good or bad? Now or in the long run? Taking care of myself requires skills that need to be learnt and mastered and applied so many times before they become automated. It's not just a set of standard things that are always the same in every situation. No, you have to consider so many things. Sometimes the best thing for you is one thing, and the next day doing the same thing might be bad for you. And we are not perfect. We are human beings. So we will make mistakes. A lot of them. Making mistakes feels bad but it's normal, so we have to forgive ourselves. But that's not that easy either. All of this requires a lot of effort and dedication, I think. But even if it doesn't come naturally, and if it doesn't feel that great and empowering, it's still worth it.
Self-care, just like anything else, is a learned habit. It shouldn’t come naturally at first. In my experience, taking some time out of your day to practice self care (like doing something you enjoy, helps you relax) is a healthy, formed habit to care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. It should be something that refuels you, instead of takes from you. In time, practicing self care can improve your relationship with others, help you feel more energized, and less anxious. How to start? • stick to the basics. Over time you will find your own rhythm and routine. You will be able to implement more and identify more particular forms of self-care that work for you. • Self-care needs to be something you actively plan, rather than something that just happens. It is an active choice and you must treat it as such. By marking part of your day to practice self care, you are holding yourself accountable to do it. With these tips, I hope you can begin to understand that self care takes practice, and lots of it! Don’t worry if you try something and it doesn’t work for you, you can always seek out other ways to take care of yourself and find out what works for you.
Sometimes we think more about others than ourselves. Sometimes to help others we have to make sure we are able to help ourselves. What helped me was realizing that by taking care of myself I would be better equipped to help others!! For instance I cannot financially help someone unless I am financially stable. Its like reaching out to someone in the water and being properly anchored to rescue them. There are many analogies that could be used. The most common one that I think can apply right now is the one about cups. Until your cup is full you can not pour into another person cup. Thank you all sincerely Josh
Taking care of yourself is a part of your own personal relationship with yourself. The more you develop that relationship, the more you will have the need to take care of yourself. Also, there could be some self-sabotaging patterns in your mind if you have some un-processed emotions or trauma. Dealing with those is also a way to improve the whole picture of your relationship with yourself. Everyday try to make yourself do one caring thing for yourself. Try to remind yourself and you might, if persistent enough, create a good habit and it will be at least a little more natural.
Self-care often has the reputation of being relatively easy. I'm here to tell you that that is nothing but a stereotype! Many people struggle with activities of daily living but it is something that is not often talked about in society. It is okay that you have to push yourself sometimes to take care of yourself, especially when you have so much to deal with in your life already! Remember to be kind to yourself and your body. Someone else's standards should not be yours, we are all different and unique. Take self-care one step at a time, sometimes it can be rather overwhelming.
Often times, we have been trained to not take care of ourselves. Other things often come first such as school, family, friends, job, and other life responsibilities. We do whatever we can to survive and sometimes that undermines the very thing we need to survive which is our own health. Taking care of yourself is just like any new habit you are trying to form: it takes time, consistency and patience. Even knowing that you have to take care of yourself or wanting to take care of yourself is not enough. Start off small and then increase little by little. Do what makes YOU feel good and what works for you. Everyone'e self-care and self-love look very different.
We are our own worst critics. We tend to blame ourselves for everything, even things not under our control. (Such as our looks, or anxiety, depression etc) so we tend to neglect ourselves as if we don’t feel we deserve self care. Or, things like anxiety and depression make it very difficult to even complete basic every day tasks. And that’s okay, if all you’ve done is survive and exist today, you’re still doing great. Sometimes it helps to make a list of self care habits we want to complete every day. Seeing it in a list can make it easier for your mind to manage, and can even serve as a reminder for extremely forgetful people such as myself. Sometimes self care has to be learned, and that’s okay. We’re all different with all different needs.
Taking care of myself doesn't come naturally to me either because I've always had so much self hatred inside. Also, sometimes I feel guilty for spending time on myself when my family rely on me a lot for help. However, I realised that there's no point in taking care of others if I can't even take care of myself and now I've started making my own self care a priority. You can start small: at first the thoughts of exercising, and eating healthy, and taking out time just for me seemed quite daunting. But you should remember to start small, perhaps just a walk outside everyday. I started trying to take care of myself simply by listening to my favourite kind of music for 15 mins a day, and very slowly, I started incorporating daily showers and I tried to eat at least 2 fruit/ veg a day. It takes time. But once it becomes a habit and you get used to it, you'll start to love yourself for it.
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