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How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?

199 Answers
Last Updated: 04/19/2020 at 1:43am
How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2005 with a diverse group of clients, all ages, races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Nessy22
November 12th, 2017 4:15am
Homosexuality is something we're born with, and not something we control. People who are born to be attracted to the same sex don't choose to be.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2017 8:39pm
Im sure that if you calmly explain them how you feel about it they wont have any problem with it, understand and support you
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2017 5:35pm
Show them famous homosexuals and how successful they are. And then tell them that u were born this way and u hope they accept u because u cant change your feelings
CutiePikachuGirl
December 3rd, 2017 2:28am
Explaining homosexuality to you parents be very difficult and scary. I know having been through it. First question to ask yourself, do you trust your parents. Are they homophobic in anyway. Do they talk about the LGBT community in a bad way, or make you uncomfortable when talking bad about the community. If so it might not be the best option. If you don't think that they will be very accepting to you, maybe try and find another family member who be more accepting about your sexuality, and maybe they can help you. It also helps if you are unsure how they react. Second question, how close are you with them. If you feel like you can tell them anything then go for it. If you just really need to tell them, then just do it. Hopefully your parents are accept your sexuality, which they should.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 11:50pm
I'd personally show them videos explaining homosexuality. And tell them that it is just me liking someone who is the same gender as me, and love doesn't have a limit.
absentveins
December 13th, 2017 7:13pm
This can definitely be a hard subject to bring up if you feel like your parents won't accept you for who you are but the number one thing I will tell you is that they will love you no matter what. At first, they can be ignorant. They can be mad or be upset but that's simply because they are uneducated about what you are telling them. They probably weren't expecting that. They might be confused and unsure of what to tell you but never forget that they love you. You need to educate them about your sexuality so they can get a better understanding. When I told my parents, I was sitting at the kitchen table talking about my mental health because my girlfriend's mom told them I was depressed. I was so scared, and I knew I had to pour all of the things on my shoulders at once. My mom told me that even if I was gay, I could tell her because she'd still support me. So I told her and I started crying. My mom was very proud of me and hugged me. That was my experience, and I hope yours will be as amazing as mine was. If they don't support you after all of that, always know that I will and so much more people will.
Ganimed
December 17th, 2017 12:47am
Most of our parents grow up in a society that wasn't acceptive of gay people. For most of them, it's a really new thing, so the important thing here is communication. Teach them what homosexuality really is. They still have many stereotypes about it. Show them that it's a completely normal and healthy lifestyle, and that gay people are normal human beings, like everyone else. Show them that someone's sexual preference doesn't make them bad in other ways. It's just a small part of someone.
royalMango45
January 6th, 2018 9:41am
Okay, this is always somewhat of a difficult subject, because not everybody’s parents will have the same opinion on lgbt+, but there a few things you can do to ensure you are happy and prepared, albeit a bit nervous, to explain to your parents. If you don’t feel confident enough to tell them face to face, you could write them a letter, or if you’re more confident, you could sit them down, individually or as a family and talk to them, maybe show them some videos to help explain, or give them a presentation. Naturally, they will be curious and may ask some (embarrassing) questions, do make sure you’re armed with some knowledge of how you’re feeling and what being homosexual means to you. What is important for them to know is that love is love, and just because you feel love towards a certain gender, doesn’t make you any less of a person, because it’s absolutely normal to be gay/lesbian/etc., but society is making it seem like that’s not okay when it is. Make sure to tell them that you’re still you, that being homosexual doesn’t make you any different, it’s just who you love, and that shouldn’t matter :)
strawberryman23
January 10th, 2018 1:47am
Tell them that it is just love, like they have experienced, but between two people of the same gender. Tell them that it's just as real and just as valid as a relationship between two heterosexual people. You are valid.
Kaysha
January 13th, 2018 11:11am
Tell them that you were born the way you are, and that you love the same sex like your parents love the opposite. It's no different, and nor are you now that you're open about your sexuality.
ElegantUnicorn01
January 20th, 2018 3:21pm
Explain that it is not a choice. Some believe that one chooses to be homosexual, but countering this with "if gay people don't enjoy the same rights, and are treated badly by society, then why on earth would anyone ever choose to be gay?". Ensure to explain that it is no-one's fault - it is simply the way you are, and there's nothing wrong with that. Be sure to emphasise that people will sometimes create bogus stories, such as the AIDs controversy and the idea that homosexuals causes natural disasters (some people believe these, amazingly). Your parents will probably know some of the info already, but answering any questions they have will be helpful to you all!
miraculousStrawberry80
January 20th, 2018 6:59pm
Well when you are ready, I would explain to them that homosexuality is not a choice but that you were born that way. Nothing is wrong with being gay
xxabbey
January 24th, 2018 7:14pm
honestly you just tell them that anyone can love anyone .no one chooses to be homosexual youre born that way and its okay
SwordAndThePen
January 28th, 2018 5:49pm
They've likely already heard of homosexuality, but they may have twisted ideas about what it means. Explain that homosexuality is not a sexual perversion and means the same kind of love and attraction as straight people.
YepThatsMe2021
January 31st, 2018 11:47pm
Sit them down and tell them then explain what it is and how you feel and if they get mad. Leave them alone and give them time to think and if they don't come around, don't get sad. Just keep your head held high and accept it and give it time.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2018 9:58pm
simply say "mom, dad, i'm gay. it means i'm attracted to the same gender as me. i hope you will be accepting."
Megan2603
February 3rd, 2018 12:49am
I would recommend sitting down with them calmly and talking it out. Try to explain to them who you are and that you have always been that way. If they are a little hesitant try to remember that they did grow up in a different time then we are so it might take them a little bit of time to understand.
Kanga
February 10th, 2018 7:58pm
Its depends on the person. Just explain that you might love someone of the same sex, but this does not change who you are as a person, and it also doesn't make you love your parents any less. There are lots of great websites dedicated to the parents of homosexuals, so maybe have them check one of those out!
Anonymous
February 11th, 2018 6:03am
Homosexuality is basically just being attracted to the same gender as you, instead of being attracted to the opposite, and you can't control who you like or love, so you could possibly tell them that, but it's really up to you, as how you go about explaining it it depends on how supportive they are of LGBTQ+ people, and how they react. You could also show them articles and/or documentaries on this, which might help them understand it a bit better.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2018 12:05am
Firstly , homosexuality is a part of you, I want you to know that being gay is okay , no matter what anyone else thinks. Coming out to parents can be extremely daunting, but I want you to do it when you are completely sure it is safe for you to do so, and that you are ready to do it. There is no need to explain or give reasons for your sexuality, it is how it is, and that’s so great !
artsickprince
March 1st, 2018 5:31am
First, ask for their opinion on the matter. Tell them that you have been holding this in, in fear of losing them. Parents, believe it or not, hate knowing their children were worried to just speak with them. Tell them that nothing has changed but that they now know a very intimate part about you. Educate them and give them resources!
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 2:01pm
I find its best to get facts and that information from the web, which our site here in 7Cups has a wide range of information that could be very helpful. Just take some time to look over our LGBTQ+ Forum and be open to ask question and there are some great Listener here that do LGBTQ+ issues that can be helpful on your quest
brightCloud67
March 8th, 2018 11:34am
Just have an honest and open conversation with them. If you're afraid that wont work write them a letter and mail it to them.
WantToHelpp
March 9th, 2018 6:20am
From my experience i slowly stared saying things like ‘oh she’s pretty’ or ‘my favorite avenger based on looks is Natasha’ (and those were just from my own preference) Then I sat down with Mum and said ‘I’m pansexual. Which means I like people based on their hearts, not parts’. Then Mum told dad. And that’s how I came out. You can also say that you’re not any different. You’re the same as you always have been.
Anonymous
March 14th, 2018 10:19am
Say it's something not wrong but not so much common and that it requires people to try to see it from the perspective of the homosexual individual themselves. Like how much they love and care for someone who is from the same sex as they are but it's still normal care and love. You may also try to say they are humans with different preferences that's all. You love green i love blue and it's okay. Recommend watching short films Which discuss this issue from the perspective of the homosexual individual. It is simply love, life and care but in different color but the essence is still the same.
brightWinter43
March 23rd, 2018 11:15pm
I think it's a matter of judging the situation, the fact that gay (and all other lgbtq+) people are just like any other should be emphasised especially if they have strong opinions on the subject. The fact that their love is the same as their's and their lives are the same as their's.
QueerChristianTeen2004
April 7th, 2018 3:26pm
Explain that you love your sane sex the way they love each other. Say that you're just not attracted too the opposite sex.
walkthecisco
April 11th, 2018 3:35pm
Just tell them that it’s when a boy loves a boy and/or when a girl loves a girl. Then just tell them that they are the same as people who love those of the opposite gender, they just love people of their own gender in a romantic way.
OscarWilde99
April 14th, 2018 9:30am
In my experience, explaining that it's the same love is always helpful. Explain that there is no 'fetish' or anything, that it is just the same love that they feel for each other. You just happen to feel it for the same sex.
thelittleprinces
April 14th, 2018 3:14pm
Explain it to them when all is calm and peaceful and nothing is on their minds! Make sure to clear all stereotypes and put kindly as possible and always make them known that they can always check on with you for doubts!