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How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?

199 Answers
Last Updated: 04/19/2020 at 1:43am
How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2005 with a diverse group of clients, all ages, races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
proudNarwhal40
April 21st, 2016 1:09pm
Tell them that this was a hard decision to come by and that you are homosexual that even saying it you hope they will understand, support you
Anonymous
April 21st, 2016 8:22pm
take your time. don't stress yourself about it. sure it may not be easy but if you are sure about it there is no way to skip this. maybe you want to find out what's their opinion in generel, so it may be easier to talk to them if they react well to the topic. otherwise try to keep it as short as possible. try to give them some time to handle it. maybe also some space, if they don't react well or make you feel uncomfortable. don't try to change yourself. embrace yourself as who you are. whoever can't accept that fact don't deserve to be part of your life.
Markimoo
April 27th, 2016 3:20pm
It is hard for some people to learn new or different things such as that. You may not be able to explain it to them at all. You can try your best, but some people just wont change. It is no one's fault in that. Sometimes it is just hard to change. It may even take them a long time to understand it themselves even after you explain it.
booklover1224
April 27th, 2016 4:08pm
Ideally, you will sit down and have a discussion with them, or even just write them a letter explaining your feelings. There's no guarantees, but if you don't back down then they will eventually come to accept it.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2016 5:16pm
Tell them that it means when two people of the same sex love each other and also it's okay to be gay (:
Anonymous
April 28th, 2016 5:50pm
You must first sit them down, perhaps over dinner where everybody is content and just tell your parents what is going on. Be cautious though, They might be shocked but the shock value doesn't fade within time.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2016 4:04pm
Well one thing is to help them understand how normal it is to some people. Ask them "Why do you like the opposite gender?" They will probably respond with something along the lines of, "Because I just do." Let them know that people don't just choose to be gay. That they were born just as 'gay' as your parents were born 'straight'. Help them understand that homosexuals aren't just sexual fiends and that they actually fall in love with eachother. Let them know that their love is just the same as any heterosexual couple. The only difference being the genitals. They can be wonderful parents too.. They fight like other couples. They love like other couples. And the fact that they are still love who they love regardless of all the harrassment they go through really shows how strongly they feel this.
broadfemmelovelive
April 29th, 2016 10:30pm
Be honest with yourself first because without you there's no need to explain it. Build a support network filled with your love ones and friends that understand that might already guess you have different sexual preference, better than starting with explaining to heteronormatives. 7 Cups of Tea is one way but reach out too. Your family who may be more sensitive to lgbtq, or a close family friend. Honestly I would never tell anyone that it is necessary for you to come out to your parents. This is a personal choice sexuality is a private matter. Who you love is your choice. If they would judge you for this then they do not deserve your love. And I have had friends who have had to learn this solid hard truth about narrow-minded people who don't believe in the power of love. Love and Let Live!
GentleWolfPup
May 1st, 2016 6:44pm
It's just a label!!! It just means that I love who I want to love. If that means that it's my own gender, then that's my business. Mariage: Is love and love. Not just man and woman.
Nellie33
May 19th, 2016 9:29pm
It's something u need to explain with a calm mind homosexuality is something most are unaware of so you can explain it to them by explaining the difference between a straight person and a homosexual person it might be a bit difficult by trying wnt cost bucks
Ency
May 20th, 2016 3:05am
My parents have always been accepting of me (thanks mom and dad!) so I'm going to use the example of how I came out to my grandparents. I led off by talking about how much they meant to me and mentioning funny experiences from when I was younger that we shared together. Then I brought up my gay friends that they already knew I had. Then I began to talk about my girlfriend without telling them she was my girlfriend. Then I told them she was my girlfriend. Then I watched there brains explode
JasonT
May 20th, 2016 11:19am
Just be straight up with them. Explain what it means. Tell them it's where two people of the same gender are attracted to each other. Don't lie about it - just be straight up and explain exactly what it means. Make sure they know it's completely normal and it isnt weird or wrong.
creativesupport0321
May 20th, 2016 1:37pm
When trying to explain homosexuality, you need to come at it with confidence but still be kind. It may not be easy but sometimes you just need to be completely honest. Tell them what you know and use detail but don't act like you know more than they do.
musicalBubbles45
May 25th, 2016 6:32pm
It's very simple, just say it's when a man has a romantic or sexual attraction to another man, same with women, glad I could help :)
Anonymous
May 26th, 2016 12:48am
It's important to simply go step by step: they will understand what you are eventually. Another thing: it's important for you to be ready to talk about it. Don't feel stressed or don't be afraid of questions.
michellerashidi
May 28th, 2016 7:19am
Homosexuality is typically when a male likes or has attraction towards another male. Homo means same.
Reddy
May 29th, 2016 3:09am
Very simply actually. If you decide you feel the time is right to come out to your parents, simply tell them who you are. You are you and the only difference in the ling run is that they get to know the "full you". Unfortunately some parents don't always react well at first while others may surprise you! The most important thing to remember is to be true to yourself.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2016 3:21am
I came out in an odd way... My mom had my phone unknown to me she goes in my web browser. were she finds my search history next thing I know My mom is asking me if I'm gay
Helpfulhedgehog21
June 2nd, 2016 6:23am
You need to let them know that who love in no way changes the person you are or your view of them. Your sexuality is not necessarily a defining quality of who you are and you are the same person you were before.
RedPandaz
June 3rd, 2016 7:43am
If and when you should decide the time is right— that you are comfortable in the knowledge that you are up to it and it does not incur an unreasonable amount of risk to address it— it's best to be open, honest, and direct about who you are and how you feel. Addressing it with those ideas in mind will help you shape the conversation in the way that best fits your needs.
funnyBlossom24
June 3rd, 2016 12:33pm
You could simply just say that you are attracted boys instead of girls. I think that is the easiest route.
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2016 10:50pm
you can start off with a simple, " I'm ___..." then you can explain how you were born that way and you had no control over your sexual orientation... "I hope you love me the same way you did before we had this chat."
MatthewTheMagical
June 8th, 2016 10:54am
Homosexuality is when you're attracted to the same sex. Just see if they're homophobic or not, and then just sit down and talk to them about it.
Anonymous
June 12th, 2016 5:17am
This can be a really complicated and delicate topic to approach, so it would suggest preparing yourself a lot of time before actually coming out. a little trick that worked for me was to talk about homosexuality like it was an interest of mine, rather than a thing that actually affected me. talking about a "friend" who was homosexual also helped. if your parents react nicely to that and seem to understand how homosexuality works, you could assume it's safe to come out.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2016 6:32pm
Many people are getting aware of LGBT+ issues, and hopefully, they will understand if they have enough time.
dreamingCat7474
June 17th, 2016 9:38pm
The best way is honesty. In any case, honesty is the best way to say or do anything. Tell them how you feel and them them what it is.
PeacefulFlute74
June 22nd, 2016 4:56pm
Describe it in terms of love. If they truly love each other, you might ask them what they would have done if the other parent had been the same gender. Would they have foregone love because of gender? And what would that have been like for them?
slightly
June 29th, 2016 9:38pm
It's love, and it hurts no one. The only people it hurts are the people who are discriminated against as a result of the hatred of others. It isn't a choice, and it isn't a flaw. It isn't even the opposite of heterosexuality. Both are love, and love is fine.
PurpleGoddess
June 30th, 2016 5:21pm
It really just depends on the person and the parents, you have some parents that are homophobic and do not want to hear it and you have to just let them know that it was nothing that they did not you still love them and hope that they still love me.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2016 3:34am
Simple. Dad, you love Mom for who she is, right? What if she had different parts the next time you were to see her? Wouldn't you still love her? You love her for her soul, not for her parts.