How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?

181 Answers
Last Updated: 03/20/2019 at 5:41pm
How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?
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I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2005 with a diverse group of clients, all ages, races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
RaCat
February 9th, 2016 7:51pm
I haven't explained it yet (even if I identify myself as bisexual) because it's one of he hardest thing to do when your parents are homofobics. But I think that the truly loving parents would accept them child no matter what sexuality he has, maybe it will take a little bit more time than always but at the end of the day, they will understand. Just try o be honest, show them what it is to be like this and show that it's still you, that nothing ever changed.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2016 1:03am
You were born this way. Everything on earth is natural, if God did not want you to be this way, you wouldn't.
Anonymous
September 27th, 2015 3:48am
I think it's best to wait sometimes. Explain it to them if you have a safe place to go, or are out on your own. I know how hard this is, I'm waiting right now too. I've tried explaining some things, but haven't..come out about anything yet. I feel they wouldnt understand. So I'd rather be somewhere safe and then explain it to them, so I know I have a home somewhere. As far as ways to explain it, maybe mention that homosexuals dont choose who they're attracted to any more than heterosexuals do. Find the facts to back it up, but dont push too far past personal lines all at once. Acceptance is a process. For some, that processing time is quick and painless, while others take much longer. Much love and I hope this helps ^~^
Probius
May 21st, 2016 6:24am
You can tell your parents that you love someone of the same sex, as opposed to the opposite sex. Nothing else is different about you.
HelpWisely
June 4th, 2016 7:08am
What is there to explain? Just tell them that you are a homosexual and that is the reality of who you are. You are still a human being even if your sexual orientation is towards homosexuality.
dancingBeauty97
June 5th, 2016 10:48pm
Homosexuals are just like any one else. They love like other people and care like any one else. They have nothing wrong with them. They are the same just like "straight people"
Anonymous
March 13th, 2019 12:51am
If you have very ignorant parents, then this would not be a wise idea. If, however, you have very understanding and loving parents, then yes I would recommend trying to explain this to them. Before I begin, I would tell you something very important. If you have ignorant parents, I would recommend waiting until you are fully independent. I say this because I have witnessed, first hand, Countless parents disowning or kicking their children out of their home for being gay. If you have very understanding parents, then I would recommend telling them as you would prevent carrying all this weight on your shoulders. In order to explain homosexuality to your parents, please follow the following steps. Firstly, make sure that they are not already stressed out or dealing with other difficult situations. Secondly, sit them down, preferably in a private area and make sure to stay on topic. Thirdly, go ahead and tell them. Don't be worried if they are speechless as this is common in these kinds of situation, just give them time and honestly answer any questions they may ask. And finally, don't be afraid to express your emotions, If you feel like crying then cry.
SimplyBeing
May 8th, 2016 5:50pm
I have struggled to explain homosexuality to many people I care about. For me, people began to understand when I started talking more about how I feel than why I felt that way and how I became homosexual. Your feelings are yours and you deserve to have your feelings respected. Your experience of being homosexual is what matters. When I made my explanation more about "this is who I am and how I feel, right here and right now" people began to hear the authenticity in my voice and they started working to understand it themselves. I wish you peace ~J
optimisticPumpkin82
June 17th, 2016 12:22am
You could explain homosexuality to your parents by telling them that homosexuality is not that much different from a normal relationship. Only thing different is that with guys you have a male and male and girls it's a girl and girl. Love is love no matter what.
NekoBread
September 22nd, 2015 2:15am
Just try to tell them of the easiest and informative way you can, and when you see that is a good timing; if you can, get support for some friend or someone that be there for you in these hard times. and info yourself about other cases like you.
TylerDelRey
April 21st, 2016 5:24am
The best way to explain is to tell them that its natural. No one chooses their sexuality, so they shouldn't be judged for that!
sunalchemy
June 4th, 2016 2:23am
First you have to make a short and reassuring introduction like .. the other day i found instead of i've got something to say it's less stressful. Second you explain how gradually you found that you were homosexual and that they actually nothing to fear you will stay the same. The rest will depend on your parents reaction !
BubblySerenity91
June 10th, 2016 1:01am
You know what works best with your parents, but do your best to make it easy and clear to understand
bhetherson4
June 11th, 2016 3:24am
Homosexuality is love for the same gender as yourself. Though it may differ from how society portrays what a relationship should be, a relationship is always moving, building, and growing. Love is love no matter what gender or pronouns or preferences people have. Love should not be discouraged based on people's gender.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2016 1:39am
Sit down with them and have a calm and trusting talk. Don't just spring it on them, but lead them calmly into the subject.
SMStar
July 9th, 2016 7:26pm
Homosexuality is love for the same gender as yourself. Though it may differ from how society portrays what a relationship should be, a relationship is always moving, building, and growing. Love is love no matter what gender or pronouns or preferences people have. Love should not be discouraged based on people's gender.
BlissfulNathalie24
January 28th, 2018 7:51pm
Congratulations for discovering you sexuality and starting to think about how you will come out to your family! I'm so proud of you for coming to 7 Cups and exploring your options. Feel free to chat with me about this! I know it can be stressful and scary and at times feel alone. @BlissfulNathalie24 ! My short advice is to form a plan! Sounds easier that it is. Write down the best case scenario of what you WISH would happen. Now write down the worst thing that can happen. Could you get kicked out of your home? Made fun of? .. Think about that. Now go online. Find an LGBTQ+ support group (I work for one called the LGBT Life Center, Is there one of those in your city?) There, they will have hotlines, support groups, and even safe housing resources and everything to ease your fears! Think about THAT! .. Now tell a trusted friend. It is easier, for some reason, to come out to a friend you've known a few years than it is your family who has known you your whole life. Use this as a practice run for your parents... Now think about HOW you will tell them. The where and when. Will you tell mom first and then dad? Or will you do it over dinner like an announcement? Maybe have a sibling lay the ground work of telling them and then all you have to do is confirm it later? It is ALL your decision. What YOU are comfortable with. I'm so glad you are choosing to show the world who you are. This is a very vulnerable thing to do and I want to welcome you to this beautiful LGBTQ+ community.
tiredsnail
March 31st, 2018 6:50pm
To begin, it is recommended not to come out in an unsafe environment. If you are comfortable, explain that you feel an attraction to the same gender.
RedVase1234
June 9th, 2018 10:12pm
You can start by telling your parents that 2 people of the same sex or gender can feel the same kind of love, affection, and attraction as heterosexual couples do. Understand they might have questions, and be open to answering them the best you can
dhend0
January 11th, 2015 9:52pm
Providing they don't understand, you could show them some great forums on the internet, the internet is great for being able to explain things and understand things.
Spiderman93
January 28th, 2015 4:49pm
explain it to them by your definition of it. they may or may not seem accepting of your decision at first, and thats ok. let them know that no matter what your choice is, that you still love them. let them know that you are the same person you were yesterday, maybe even stronger because you have exposed the true you! stay strong.
DanielleBW
April 9th, 2015 2:32pm
There is no single, sure-fire way of telling your parents that you are lesbian or gay. You can tell them that you love the same sex as you just like the love the opposite sex.
RachaelBella152
May 23rd, 2015 11:17am
Tell them who you love. Tell them that the way that they love each other is how you feel about your person. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. "You don't have to defend or explain yourself or your decisions to anyone. It's your life. Live it without apologies".
Peter1447
July 13th, 2015 7:35am
This is a very hard subject to explain to older people, I think its important to tell your parents in a way they understand, being simple is never bad!
OhSoLovely
November 23rd, 2015 6:47pm
you could use purely scientific terms if you want and just explain that its sometime people cannot change, it is just part of who someone is
lizzle
November 30th, 2015 4:59am
You explain that from a liberty perspective that if 2 people want to be in love or have sex with each other, then they should have liberty to do so. As it doesn't cause anyone else life to change in a single way. From a scientific perspective there are many unknown reasons why this occurs , but it occurs in all different forms of nature from plants to animals. If talking to people with different belief systems, then say that not everyone belief system is truly right, and as long as we all have tolerance for each other then it shouldn't matter, because no one is being harmed. If you're talking literally about it, you would explain that is defined by 2 people with the same gender that are attracted to each other.
Greatlistener87
January 19th, 2016 3:15am
Best to be honest and always ask your parents to give you some time to explain more about the situation and why you made the choice to be a homosexual. In this way they will understand better and not jump to any conclusions.
phantahna
April 12th, 2016 6:34am
Homosexuality: A person who is sexually attracted to people of one's own sex. This is the dictionary definition and is the most simple to understand.
proudNarwhal40
April 21st, 2016 1:09pm
Tell them that this was a hard decision to come by and that you are homosexual that even saying it you hope they will understand, support you
Anonymous
April 21st, 2016 8:22pm
take your time. don't stress yourself about it. sure it may not be easy but if you are sure about it there is no way to skip this. maybe you want to find out what's their opinion in generel, so it may be easier to talk to them if they react well to the topic. otherwise try to keep it as short as possible. try to give them some time to handle it. maybe also some space, if they don't react well or make you feel uncomfortable. don't try to change yourself. embrace yourself as who you are. whoever can't accept that fact don't deserve to be part of your life.