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Why am I gay? I hate myself.

158 Answers
Last Updated: 07/13/2020 at 10:15am
Why am I gay? I hate myself.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Stacey Kiger, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey

Top Rated Answers
Dylannerdy15
November 5th, 2015 8:50pm
Don't hate yourself, there's nothing wrong with you. You're gay because like most people you're born this way. I know it's difficult growing up knowing you should like the opposite sex and then realising you don't, but you've already accepted the fact you are gay. When I realised I was gay, I spent two years in denial trying to pretend I wasn't gay and hating myself and just not accepting, but now I accept it and I'm so happy about it. You just have to get used to the idea, and it's not so bad. Maybe try saying I'm gay to yourself to get used to the idea of saying it and accepting it. Whisper it and after a while try say it louder and keep saying it louder until you feel comfortable saying it. By then you should have accepted it. I really hope you feel better about this after a while. Just hang in there.
Anonymous
November 6th, 2015 4:34am
You were born this way. You should never feel like you hate yourself because of something you cannot change about yourself. You are beautiful and amazing, regardless of your sexuality
Anonymous
November 6th, 2015 6:51pm
gay isn't a choice, pal. sexual orientation is a natural part of who we are. Some of us are born straight; others gay, lesbian, bisexual or gender-queer. it is NOTHING to be ashamed of, if anything, you should embrace it, pal!
Anonymous
November 7th, 2015 6:37pm
There is no reason to hate yourself for being gay. I understand its frustrating. Eventually, things will fall in place. Its not your fault.
Anonymous
November 8th, 2015 6:01pm
Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. Nobody can tell you any differently. You're a beautiful human being and your sexual preference happens to be the same gender. Today, the LGBTQ+ community is taking a stand for equal rights and I'd say that they're doing a pretty damn good job. Don't hate yourself for something that isn't wrong in the first place, be the best you and you'll be happy. I promise.
hopefulBraveheart29
November 11th, 2015 3:49am
You are gay because thats the way you were born. I know being gay can sometimes be hard, but you have to be kind to yourself. You have to accept yourself. There is nothing wrong with you.
CastleIrwell
November 11th, 2015 8:32pm
You are homosexual, just like others are heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, and more! It's the same reason. You are born the way you are. Your body and mind is the way it is because of how you are born. You should not feel compelled to hate yourself because you are attracted to the same sex. Love is universal. There is never anything wrong with healthy love. xxx
Anonymous
November 14th, 2015 10:27am
I believe you are just fall in love with someone who is the male sex. You don't need to worry about, you are normal, just like everybody does.
EricM
November 15th, 2015 6:04am
Being gay is a part of who you are. Instead of hating it, or yourself, embrace it. You can't change it, so learn to love yourself. You have worth, and are valued.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2015 3:11pm
Being homosexual can be hard, especially when living in an homophobic environment. Hating ourselves is never the answer, what we can do is trying to improve the environment we live in and find support in ourselves and in our loved ones.
ProudBohemian
November 15th, 2015 6:29pm
Honey, is something normal. You're still a human, a beautiful one. There's nothing wrong with being gay. That just makes yourself unique
Scarletjane1999
November 17th, 2015 4:35pm
Don't hate yourself for being gay. It is not a unnatural thing. Being gay is not something to be ashamed of. It is a part of you. You can not help it if you are gay so don't try to hide it. Be who you are. You are you and you are amazing even if you are gay.
Emmastylinson21
November 19th, 2015 4:26pm
There isn't a reason that you are gay, thats just how you were born. It is hard to come to acceptance with yourself. You have to just take time everyday to love yourself. It will get easier I promise.
sterlingvocals
November 20th, 2015 6:52pm
Loving yourself comes before loving anyone else. All love is beautiful. We are taught many toxic things that say otherwise. Learn to accept yourself totally, and love will follow.
insightfulShiny388
November 21st, 2015 4:26pm
You are who you are, don't hate yourself for what people think of you. You were born like this for a reason
Awkwarddragon
November 21st, 2015 8:56pm
I completely feel you. I am a bi Catholic and I am still trying to accept myself. I sometimes feel guilty for who I am but I try to remember it is not a choice to be this way Don't hate yourself for something that is not your fault. I know it's hard and can't take a while to build self acceptance but please don't hate yourself for being gay. Gay is okay
majesticBlanket12
November 22nd, 2015 1:59am
Homosexuality is normal in animals and humans. Be yourself and love yourself. You are not a mistake.
greenJOHN1971
November 25th, 2015 3:19am
I don't know why you are gay. You just are. Do you feel gay? There is nothing wrong with being gay. You just have to deal with a lot. Let's try to get through this together.
Swifting
November 25th, 2015 6:29am
There is no reason to hate yourself because you are gay. You are attracted to people who do not fit into the social standard of normal and that is okay. While, I cannot explain why you are gay, I can explain that love knows no gender or sexuality or sex and love is not something to argue with.
Greatlistener87
November 26th, 2015 6:09am
Being socially different is not wrong. Just because you are different from majority doesn't mean its a bad thing just means you have different liking.
thegirlthatknowshowyoufeel15
November 26th, 2015 8:08pm
Just because your sexuality is different from others means you should hate yourself. I'm bisexual and I know that some people are going to hate me but I shouldn't hate myself
gracefulSunshine62
November 27th, 2015 7:48am
I wondered this same thing for a long time. I hated myself for being gay. Now I love that I'm gay and its just another thing about me, like having green eyes. People are born gay. I didn't do anything and no one did anything to make me this way. I just am. Society is the problem that they can't accept people for who they are.
Anonymous
November 28th, 2015 1:11am
I would like to start off saying that you should never hate yourself for who you are when it harms no one. :) There is no answer as to why you are gay but I can tell you that being gay is what makes you, yourself. And you are an excellent person. Never let your sexuality define you. You are a person who happens to be gay. And NOT a gay person. Defining yourself as a human being first and gay second makes sure that you are aware of your value.
Anonymous
November 28th, 2015 11:54am
I don't think there's anything bad about being gay to be honest. It's never been a problem with me, just because i think homosexuals are born homosexual (and if you're asking yourself that question, most likely you were too); it's not a choice, but then again, falling in love almost never is a choice (to a certain extent it can be maybe). I think why it's so hard to accept for gay people is because of societal views, but in general i just think that people... cannot accept others who they deem different to them. But what they don't realize is that everyone is different; some just more openly or obviously so than others.
Anonymous
November 28th, 2015 3:19pm
You are Gay because you like males, and you don't hate yourself. Maybe you are just angry that something didn't go as planned or something else heppened to make you upset.
princecharming007
November 29th, 2015 1:16pm
Being gay is nothing wrong. I am bisexual and I think it is better than being straight. No one is any better or worse due to their sexuality so there is no need to hate yourself
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2015 12:35am
Against what tons of people say, being gay is not a choice. It's how you're made to be. It's not bad either. There's no need to hate a natural feeling. Tons of species of animals have gay relationships. You are special.
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2015 5:00pm
Asking why? You are gay isn't a question that can be answered. You are either attracted to the same or opposite sex and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You might find it hard to accept yourself, but with time and support once you do accept yourself for being who you are you will feel so much better.
FriendlyEar10
December 3rd, 2015 3:54pm
No-one can choose their sexual preference - whether you wish you could or not. Be proud of who you are. Accepting yourself is the first step. This your life - be who you are and be happy!
dreamSoul39
December 4th, 2015 12:54am
Being gay is a choice. You should always love yourself if you dont nobody else will. I love you always and if nobody has told you that today let me be the first ok i myself is gay its nothing wrong with it its what you want what makes you happy nobody else