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Why am I gay? I hate myself.

158 Answers
Last Updated: 07/13/2020 at 10:15am
Why am I gay? I hate myself.
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United States
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Stacey Kiger, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey

Top Rated Answers
IndigoSkies323
December 5th, 2015 11:22pm
You're gay because of the chemical attraction in your brain. It's okay to be gay, completely normal. However, society makes it seem as though we have to be homosexual. I don't even know why 'straight' is a term. We are all normal no matter who we are attracted to. Gay shouldn't be an insult either, it means happy. So hey, be happy with yourself. Accept who you are and learn to love yourself. It's okay!
Anonymous
December 6th, 2015 4:56pm
you were just born that way.. and that is okay and you shouldn't hate yourself for it!
Anonymous
December 6th, 2015 11:51pm
You are gay because you were made to be. Don't hate yourself for it, rather love yourself. You are different, but you still belong to a category of people. You don't have to worry about it.
CozyLinaMelon77
December 21st, 2015 4:33pm
Please don't hate yourself, I believe being gay is like trying to choose what race or gender you are before you are born. A lot of people can't help the way they are and that's ok. Learn to love yourself just the way you are and hopefully that will give you peace
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2015 1:55am
Don't hate yourself. You are gay because you want to be. It is who you are and who you want to be.
jacinta1
December 22nd, 2015 2:36am
everybody is different. try looking at ways that being gay is positive. you shouldn't hate yourself as you are wonderful in every way
Ourfaithinhuemanatee
January 14th, 2016 8:12pm
Instead of what? It is neather your decision nor is it wrong to be gay? It is the way you feel. You cant controll who you are attracted to so please consider it as a wrong decision. Its totally ok to be straight and its also totaly ok to be gay.. there is no "reason"... Dont hate yourself for loving people..
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 7:06pm
because you were born that way and even if you don't want to be, there is nothing you can do about it. But being gay is nothing to be ashamed of, and you shouldn't hate yourself.
Anonymous
January 20th, 2016 4:09am
You're gay because you were born gay. No one decides what their sexuality is and there's nothing wrong with that.
HereForYou66
January 20th, 2016 5:24pm
Do not hate yourself for something you cannot control, or that is far beyond your control. There is nothing wrong with being gay. As I sit here and type this, I embrace my gayness.
musicalForest17
January 21st, 2016 12:49am
You're gay because you are. There's no why behind it other than you are who you are, and you can't change it. And that's okay. You will learn to love and accept yourself in time. It will take a little while, but it will be okay.
Morphia
January 21st, 2016 1:51pm
You don't have to hate yourself for being you. It is the ignorant, closed minded majority of the society that hates you. True love can occur between all people, regardless of gender. Be proud! :)
Jazyjeff
January 21st, 2016 9:49pm
You shouldn't hate yourself because you're gay, you should embrace it because it makes you special, there is no specific reason as to why you're gay, you were just born that way
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 3:09am
Don't hate yourself, appreciate it. Be happy that you found someone you love. Embrace it, face it, and chase it. :)
LubaKosmonaut
January 22nd, 2016 8:30am
You are very important, and being gay is a part of your identity you can learn to be okay and maybe even happy with! Hanging out with LGBT+ friends and peers, reading up on accounts of those who have been in your shoes, and/or taking part in groups like PFLAG, your school's Gay-Straight Alliance or any other pride groups, these things can put you on a road to accepting this part of your identity.
devilsOrchestra
January 22nd, 2016 2:43pm
being gay isn't a choice, however it can be hard in certain circumstances to feel able to speak out about it. You shouldn't hate yourself for being gay and instead just need to talk about it with someone, I specialise on GLBTQ+ issues so if you want to talk about it some more and try make sense of it all I am always here to listen.
amazingWaterfall18
January 24th, 2016 4:05pm
Being gay is no reason to hate yourself. Its who you are. You are a unique individual and dont have to be the same as everyone else. In fact, it makes it interesting if you are not, you have a better insight into life.
youmeansomuchtome
January 27th, 2016 4:39am
Being gay isn't a bad thing! I know it can seem like it, but it's really not. Many outside influences may make it seem like you're not worthy or good, but you are. Your sexuality does not define you.
Drewseph
January 28th, 2016 1:34am
I personally believe that people do not choose their sexual orientation in the same way that they can't choose their eye colour. I am so sorry to hear that you are in conflict with this part of your identity. I would maybe suggest talking to a listener on here to help unpick why you may be feeling like this and hopefully find helpful ways to manage these emotions.
skin
January 31st, 2016 6:57pm
Any person or object that does not share similarity with billions of other living creatures on Planet Earth is considered odd and rare. They are often prone to bullying and hatred, but you have to understand that there will always be a second thought, so nobody else shall be bothered with your sexuality. Nobody knows why he/she feels something towards something, it is just the thing you are, allegedly, born with, whether we aretalking about sexuality or love towards your job. That is how we are formed as individuals throughout our lifetime and we can only accept it and live our life to the fullest, because being gay is not a rare thing and there is a whole little world of people who feels the same way you do.
Anonymous
February 4th, 2016 7:55pm
Try flipping the question; "I'm gay. Why do I hate myself?". You can't change your sexuality, but you can change the way you think of yourself. It's a shame that parts of society don't accept other sexualities than hetero, luckily that's changing. But you can't help the way you are, or the way you love. Believe that people will love you for who you are, and try and love yourself.
Anonymous
February 5th, 2016 9:35pm
Being gay is not your fault, and it is completely natural do not pressure yourself. You are great.
CallMeMeow
February 7th, 2016 5:25am
Never hate yourself, for anything. And it doesn't matter why you're gay. And you shouldn't care. Even if you don't like that little detail about yourself, you have the absolute right to hate that part of you. But that does not mean that you should hate the rest of yourself. Don't hate your emotions, your grades, your height, your eye color, your friends, or anything else. Feel free to hate being gay. But its part of you, despite your complaints. So don't hate yourself, just that part of you. And no matter what, and no matter how cheesy it is, don't forget that you are NOT alone.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2016 7:46am
You should not hate youself because you are gay. You did not choose to be this way. Don't beat yourself up over it. Some people will act badly about it but it doesn not make you a bad person.
VoicesofHope
February 7th, 2016 8:19pm
Why hate yourself? For being born special? Being gay doesn't have to be something wrong, it's about how we are and how we were born, there's nothing to hate, just to love yourself.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2016 1:21am
Being queer is natural. You cannot choose it, it's not voluntary. It's part of your identity, and you cannot change it.
friendlyPenguin1020
February 10th, 2016 2:29am
Don't hate yourself!, You are unique and awesome. You will find someone who makes you feel complete and help you find the reason why. The step you need to take is to start loving yourself, then everyone will sense that and do the same, if things get tough you will have people who really apreciate you and care for you. The change is in you. You are amazing
RaCat
February 10th, 2016 9:03pm
You should't be angry of yourself because of your sexuality. Identify yourself as gay it's not bad. It's just means that you are uniqe in your own way - you are attracted to same-sex person and even if it's scary at first but it could be a really good experience :)
RachelRae777
February 11th, 2016 7:05am
Don't hate yourself for being who you are! i am bisexual i was always afraid of what people thought. Now i could care less its who you are and NEVER ever be afraid to show who you really are. Who cares what people think? this is your life, not theirs. Don't hate yourself for it, it is who you are and how you feel just like a straight person. never hide who you are :)
Anonymous
June 13th, 2016 10:52pm
You dont get to choose who you are. you should never hate youself for who you like. Everyone deserves to be happy and it shouldnt make a difference if the person is of same sex.