Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why do I get jealous when I see my best friend do well? I'm supposed to be happy for her right? Then why?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 11/23/2021 at 5:14pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Sometime situations and feelings can be so strong that we struggle to function. You are not alone! My practice is flexible and open-minded and tailored to your personal needs.

Top Rated Answers
June 3rd, 2015 12:21pm
Jealousy is a natural part of human nature, regrettably. It might not be a good thing, but it motivates us to be better than we are. Use your jealousy as motivation, turn your weakness to your weapon.
March 31st, 2015 8:22pm
Sometimes we see others and what they possess and know that we can do better. But instead of us trying harder to obtain our own goals we take the easy route and wish we had what others have.
April 7th, 2015 6:15pm
Make fun of those who made fun of you by showing them that you are smarter than them Silence all of your bullies by making them feel inferior to you Make all of those who rejected you seem stupid by becoming more successful than them. Make that person who dumped you know that he did the worst mistake ever when he hears your news.
April 10th, 2015 8:16am
The want for success is natural. When you see somebody who is doing well, you're likely to act in one of three ways. Happy for their success, envious of their success, or indifferent to their success. It can hurt to see somebody who is close to you do better than you because you are so close. I've sometimes felt jealous because I always wanted to be equal with my friend. That could be your answe. Idk without the backstory
July 21st, 2015 1:56am
It's a natural human emotion that can be hard to control, and of course you'll feel happy for her! But know your accomplishments aren't unnoticed!
February 7th, 2017 3:53am
It's your ego. It's a sublte thing. The only way out of it is the hard way, you have to force yourself to feel happy for her, its hard and unnatural, but it feels better than being jealous if you can do it.
February 20th, 2017 5:32am
Jealousy is a human emotion that we all naturally feel. Emotions are a part of what makes us human. Being upset, feeling jealous, feeling angry, all of those feelings are a natural part of being a human and doesn't make them a good or bad person. We cannot help our emotions, only how we act in response. It is our actions and words to others that do make up a person, not the emotions we feel.
- Expert in Managing Emotions
May 23rd, 2016 3:05am
Yes you should be happy for her and always remember no ones life is perfect. Everyone will have their own problems just because u can't see the problems does not mean it is not there. You might want what she has therefore you are jealous. But rather then being jealous why not work towards getting it for yourself.
June 7th, 2016 11:14pm
Jealousy is a common emotion that every one experiences. It is also common for people to become jealous of their loved ones for doing well. As long as you don't take your jealousy out on them, you are fine.
January 3rd, 2017 8:38pm
Getting jealous is normal. The real challenge is how you handle it. You could see it as a motivation to get out of the house and do great things too or you could do nothing about it. Accept the challenge.
February 26th, 2017 2:37pm
Sadly, it's natural for people to become jealous when others are doing well- especially if they're exerting a lot of effort themselves. Just remember that your best friend has exerted effort of her own to get where she is now, and instead of staying jealous, celebrate that her efforts have produced rewards, and know that your achievements will be bearing fruits of their own.
May 23rd, 2017 4:53am
Sometimes we aren't proud of our emotions. Sometimes our first thought or words can make us feel that pang of guilt: "Why did I think/say that?" It's certainly human nature to want to succeed. Unfortunately, when we feel poorly about ourselves or things just don't seem to be going our way, it can leave a bad taste in our mouths to see others succeeding, regardless of how we feel for them. Ever fail a test while your friend got an "A"? Would you rather your friend have failed with you? Of course not! But wouldn't it have made you feel a bit better about your own grade if your friend had failed too? This is just part of human nature. Just do your best to push past these emotions and certainly avoid expressing them to your friend specifically. Remind yourself that you love and care about them and you should be/are happy for them that they're doing well.
May 29th, 2017 12:34pm
It's completely normal to be jealous. Compare it to when people order nicer food that what you already have. Just enjoy what you already have and don't compare yourself to others- ever. Even if you get jealous, always have your expectations up high. If they can do it, that means you can do it too! Better- even!
November 23rd, 2021 5:14pm
Don't get annoyed at yourself for how you are feeling. We have to accept our negative feelings to learn from them and reflect on ourselves to understand ourselves better. Perhaps you are just not satisfied with your own lifestyle at the moment and that is perfectly fine! Maybe you need to consider what you could change in your own life to bring you happiness so you can appreciate her success too. We all have different lifestyles and sometimes we have to learn to focus on our own paths instead of comparing ourselves with others as we are our own unique individuals and experience different emotions - I'm sure you have many great enviable qualities of your own! I hope I helped and good luck!