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Melissa Fisher Goldman, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
I have experience in grief work and the related challenges of growing a family (infertility, miscarriage, PPD, etc.). I can help you through your life transitions.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 7th, 2016 5:14pm
To prevent negative thinking, it is important to notice when you are having such thoughts. We often keep thinking negatively without even consciously noticing.
Next step is to challenge your thoughts rationally:
Why are you thinking that way? What makes you support your answer?
Next part in the plan is to try to assess your faults and flaws and see if there are a chance if improvement. Also, it is healthy to remember we are all just flawed pieces of living being, hence there's no such term as perfect! Be happy the way you are amd see what good you can find even in that negativeness.
Again, look for positive aspects in your life, read a lot of positive quotes, watch lots of motivational videos..Hope it will help.
I have personally struggled with my own negativity so much. I forgot how to self talk and hear my own voice without hearing my negative and war faring ego! So much had to be said to myself to stop the negativity voice inside of my head that branches to my mouth so quickly. I am starting to conquer the negativity demon by actually saying the opposite of what is appearing in my head. For example: I want to become a better person and wife. I start saying to myself and also out loud "I will be a better person and a wife by being open minded, caring, respectful, loving, understanding, correctable and moldable". Now where I have noticed that where I struck out constantly was saying this instead : "I WILL NOT be a bad person. I will not be saying mean things. I will not, I will not." When you wish for something you do not want...you end up getting it anyway due to it counter acting the positive! Even when you think you do not deserve to be positive- that is the negative aspect telling you that. Everyone deserves it! Please remember this and steer clear from my mistake.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2016 11:19am
Refer the 7 cups guides on Managing Emotions, Grief, Anxiety, Depression, Lonliness, Panic Attacks to learn some nice strategies of dealing with negative thinking. You may not find them anywhere else.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 7:54am
Negative thinking reflects a negative belief, a strong hold on something out of fear and worry.
It is the first step if you know you are thinking negative, and celebrate you will be soon out of it.
You just need some wise choices and a little practice of making your choice automated so that next time you don't get trapped!
What I do is use '5 seconds rule' by Mel Robbins which suggests count 5 4 3 2 1 backwards and then plant a good thought/ incident. Don't wait for more than 5 seconds to start acting.
A lot of negative thinking is a habitual action. There are thought cycles that repeat themselves once they are triggered by a certain event. Recognizing them and catching yourself when you go down a common route "wait, I already know that one!" can help you to end them early.
The other huge part is to make a conscious effort to introduce more positive, proactive thinking. You can do this by a number of ways, and the most important part is that think something positive so that too can become a "habitual cycle" eventually.
It can really help to think of it as talking to yourself as you would to a friend - would you beat your friend down if they had a bad day? Or if something didn't go the way they wanted to? Wouldn't you rather encourage them and empathize with them?
It can also help to actively use affirmation, that is positive phrases you have for certain situations. It is good to think of a few beforehand so you can just use them when you need to. "Even if I feel tired and sick, I still love myself". (even if you aren't fully believing it right now)
It can also help to see "failures" as chances for action. Positive thinking is not thinking everything is good - it is about making the best out of the situation. Think about what you can control in your life.
1) Stop thinking in extremes
2) Stop over-generalizing the negative
3) Don't minimize the positive
4) Stop mindreading
5) Stop taking all the responsibility
6) Stop forcing your own rules on life
7) Stop making stuff up and believing it
It's easy for us to get side tracked and think negative. It's hard to think positive sometimes; however if you believe in yourself and tell yourself that life goes on, you can get through it! We should always look at the bright side of things, because negative thinking will only make us lose hope and bring us down. Instead of constantly thinking about a mistake you made and filling yourself up with regret and sadness, think of it as a tool to help you become stronger and knowledgeable. Just like that, you can try thinking about the good side of things
To avoid thinking negative, you have to get in touch with your feelings - If you feel sad, angry, jealous or something of the sort because of a thought - You know that the thought is negative, at that moment you think about the best happy thought you can, something that makes you positive- a laughing baby, a funny moment, or being grateful. It is not hard but not easy also - But once you a hang of it, it will give you wonders.!!
One way that can help is when your mind seems to wander off into a negative view, look at the situation in a bigger perspective and list all the positives. Another way you can try and completely prevent it is to look at everything in an optimistic light. When something bad happens, smile and tell yourself you can do it. If you fail in something, tell yourself that what mostly matters is you get back up.
Negative thoughts can be a big burden in our day to day lives. Although it is hard to prevent negative thoughts altogether, one of my favorite techniques to deal with negative thoughts is to redirect yourself whenever you feel the onset of these negative thoughts and feelings. So when you catch yourself starting to have the negative thoughts, whatever they may be, you can train your brain to recognize the thought, and then do something else. For example, the way I use this theory is when I catch myself having these negative thoughts I straighten up my room. If it doesn't need straightening then i vacuum the house. Simple things like that can help you to train your brain to move away from the negative thoughts.
I found that learning about Learned Helplessness and Learned Optimism helped me tremendously. I couldn't just eliminate my negative thinking, I had to learn what to replace it with. I had to learn what healthier thinking would look like to know what to do instead.
To prevent negative thinking, identify three positives for every negative. By forcing yourself to come up with positive outcomes, it allows you to see the larger picture that may be blocked by negative thoughts.
Always remind yourself, negative thought doesn't help you in problem solving, it will cause the situation become worst. Therefore, please stand up and be rational, think what can you do to solve the problem or make bad situation become. Better. Feel free to chat with me. Thanks!
Negative thinking is a cycle. I have found the key is to imagine your thoughts pass by like clouds, or imagine throwing your "negative or worry thoughts" into water and letting it wash away. The more you think about them, the more they reappear. Whatever thoughts you are having, no matter how strange or scary they might be, I promise someone else have felt that way, and they delt with it, as can you.
Understand that you are an endless being of possibility. The possibility on one hand, of reinforcing your negativity, or on the other hand, to prove every ounce of your body's doubt wrong.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2020 6:41pm
It is no secret that negative thinking is part of almost everyone’s life. For some reason, it seems it is easier to think negative thoughts, than to think positive thoughts.
Some techniques i have read about and tried some are: Practice becoming aware of when these thoughts come up. When we try to ignore negative thoughts, they don’t go away, they continue to pop up. To counteract them, recognize them. When catching yourself thinking negatively, consciously, try to think of something else, something positive and uplifting. Think often about the goods things you have in your life, and less about the bad things. Look at the filled part of the glass, not at the empty part, even if the empty is greater than the full. Align your thinking with your actions so that you dont have time to dwell in the negative thoughts.
I think it helps at the end of your day to write down 3 good things that happened to you this day. It will help you to see the light when you only see darkness.
Change the thinking you have to a positive one instead. Whenever the negative thought comes to mind, think of a way that you can make it positive instead.
Occupy yourself with positive thinking and determine not to think negatively. Also, you can deal with whatever is making you think negatively.
Negative thinking is caused by us we rethink over and over and the more we think deeper we go!
I'd like to suggest to leave it behind or just let it go and some day you will realize it was just a liitle obstacle in your life and you moved on
Best wishes for you all
Negative thinking seems to be almost everyone's default method of thinking and it takes hard work to bring all of your negative thoughts into captivity and re-frame them, but it can be done! Be very aware of what's coming into your mind and if it's negative, think of a positive thought to replace that negative one. Over time, this will become automatic and your new default!
By surrounding yourself with positive people and keeping an open mind to possibilities and opportunity no matter what the situation may be.
Preventing negative thinking is a process and takes practice like anything else to become a natural part of our way of being. We as humans are prone to negative thinking. Something that works for me, is to allow the negative thought to enter my mind, acknowledge it but not dwell on it. I then turn it around to the opposite positive thought and acknowledge that before I push them away. Over time my mind will more often than not, go to the postive way of thinking about an event than the negative alternative.
Every morning, stay up and go to the mirror. Tell yourself something beautiful while looking in your eyes.
And everytime when you notice you have been saying something negativ to yourself stop for a moment, and say something positiv to yourself.
Anonymous
July 16th, 2016 12:32pm
I guess preventing negative thinking altogether isn't such a good idea, you have to find the right balance between positive and negative. The right call would be to try and focus on things that please you and try to have a more positive insight on your life and aspects that would usually bug you - in short, make the best of what you have, look for what's great but don't always deny negative thoughts!
Anonymous
July 20th, 2016 8:47am
To prevent negative thinking, you need to fill your life with positive things, things you love, no room for bad thoughts
Anonymous
July 20th, 2016 5:34pm
Change your outlook on life, and no I don't mean to say "THINK POSITIVE" like everyone else. What I mean is look for the silver lining in the situation. If you are in a bad place and nothing changes there is no point in being miserable about it. For example:
*Falls down stairs*
Seems really bad right? Well there is a silver lining, um, you got down those stairs really quick.
it's not bad when we have negative thoughts, in fact most of us deal with it...the problem starts when we start to believe them or when we let them affect our daily life. The best way to prevent them is, whenever you get a negative thought...ask yourself, are they helpful, are they making you feel better or do you have any reason to believe in them? Validating your thoughts is the best way to prevent false thoughts. If you find that these thoughts are not helping you or are false...stop and do tell yourself that. Do something to make yourself happy, something that can occupy your attention, it can be anything like going for a walk,a run or any of your hobby. You can even try writing your thoughts down if it helps you :)
Anonymous
July 24th, 2016 2:05pm
Distract yourself! Do things that make you happy. Talk to yourself. And when I say "talk to yourself," I mean, say positive things to yourself. Love yourself. And then, you'll automatically embrace your flaws ;)
Focus on the beauty of nature, remember your good experiences, believe in the universe and so whatever happens everything has a divine purpose.
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