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What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?

135 Answers
Last Updated: 12/04/2021 at 7:04am
What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in Managing Emotions
July 8th, 2016 2:27am
If you feel comfortable just the way you are then you don't need to strive for it. Most people look for happiness above all things to be at peace but if you are not those type of people then thats okay, just be who u wanna be .
September 2nd, 2018 4:51pm
The most fascinating thing about happiness is that it will somehow reach you, even if you don't want it. Things around you, be it small or big, has the possibility of bringing a smile in your face. There can never be a person in this world who says that he doesn't want happiness. Even looking at the sun rising in the sky, or a bud blossoming may create a sense of satisfaction in you. This satisfaction is nothing but HAPPINESS. The point is nobody should go in search of happiness, when looking deep down inside yourself, you may find unconditioned happiness. But like all things in this world, happiness is not permanent. When one form of happiness departs, we have to patiently wait for another form of happiness, which may be bigger than the previous one. So, Fill your life with positivity and happiness.
July 13th, 2016 6:33pm
If you don't want it then in all likelihood it's not happiness. Atleast your happiness. Don't let others define your happiness. Do it yourself.
November 16th, 2017 7:54pm
I truly do not believe you don't want happinnss! But I do believe you are maybe afraid of the suffering you think you will get if you try to pursue happiness. Give it a go, open yourself a bit more, happiness is a fantastic thing to have and share, so are love and affection,
November 1st, 2020 8:45am
What's the use of happiness if I don't want it? If this question is in my heart, it is a sign that I need to be hugged, advised and need to be pampered by my sweetheart. This is a sign that I am looking for the meaning of happiness and trying to introspect myself. Happiness in view of and standards of one person is different from others. Also in my opinion, that happiness is enjoying the process of life with a myriad of problems ... Happiness does not rely solely on material things, what use is all the luxury when the heart is restless? Happiness actually lies in oneself and in the heart because only the self can determine the purpose of life, achieve happiness or just artificial luxury. We can feel happy by living the meaning of life, learning, enjoying the things we like, having friends and people who love us, always be grateful and more grateful, also can always enjoy a healthy life. One person's happiness cannot be replaced by happiness by other people's standards. So, for example, if someone sees me rejecting a job with a high salary and a cool office atmosphere, and then he thinks I'm 'rejecting happiness', of course not, he has the wrong perception. Because my happiness is not in that, but in the health development of children and families. That's just an example base on my experience.
July 6th, 2016 6:49am
Well, you could have an unusual form of depression if you don’t even WANT to be happy. Don’t you want to be quite happy? Happiness brings you joy, a meaning to life. Being sad deprives. Nobody can force you to be happy, but don't' you think that's happier?
August 11th, 2016 11:03am
Happiness is an elusive emotion for it is quite volatile and dependable on life circumstances. If your happiness is dependent on what is happening in your life or by others around you then it is quite impossible to attain happiness in your life. The more dependable and helpful emotion to aspire to is gratitude and joy. Joy is a settled state of contentment, confidence and hope that is unaffected by anything outside of us. It is an inner strength that allows us to face life challenges in a healthy and more productive way. Therefore, happiness isn't the most effective emotion to strive for, an inner peace and joy is what will allow you to face life challenges and obstacles and remain strong and resilient.
July 30th, 2016 8:30pm
This is an interesting question. Happiness is something everyone wishes to have. You have to analyse the sotuation and see what keeps you from wanting to be happy. Is it because you think you don't deserve it, or maybe you want to punish yourself. There are endless possibilities. I think the problem is not the happiness itself, but the things associated with it.
August 11th, 2016 4:08am
Happiness makes people around you happy. If you don't want to be happy, at least help people around you to be happy
October 2nd, 2016 1:37am
Why would you not want to be happy? Most people want to be happy, but are scared of it because they are afraid it will go away.
September 4th, 2019 10:26pm
Happiness is something that means something different to everyone. For you, happiness might not mean the same thing as it does to your family and friends. The version of happiness that you see in the media may be the kind you don’t want. That is why it’s cool to try and find your own version of happiness. Even if you only find a little bit of joy each day, it’s better than nothing. If you truly want to be sad all the time, please talk to a trusted adult about how you feel. They will understand it and be able to guide you.
July 13th, 2016 2:52pm
Meaning is defined in the moment. The purpose of life is about seeking purpose for every moment in your life. It’s not about defining the minutia, but more like the highlights. This goes along the lines of “there’s a reason for everything” thinking. If you have the belief that there’s a reason for everything that happens, then you will discover purpose in your life. If you believe there’s a reason for your pain and sadness, and those reasons will reveal themselves in the future, then you raise your tolerance level of what’s happening now. If you feel worthless or upset now, and there’s a reason you’re feeling it now, you will discover that reason later – and it will help you become more clear on the things that happened in your life in the past.
July 28th, 2016 10:19am
Sometimes people don't want things that they need. Like do I want to eat super healthy organic food all the time? No, but it is good for you. Do sometimes I have it anyway. But just like with a new diet, you should try to steadily allow happiness in your life. You don't have to do a 180 over night.
August 11th, 2016 5:04pm
Happiness is not a goal everyone wants to achieve. If you don't want happiness, for whatever reason, that's your prerogative. But you could argue what is the point of another person's goal if you don't want it yourself. The goal is important to them for a reason and I'm sure you have your own goals in which you can see the point of, if that makes sense.
August 11th, 2016 8:23pm
One day you will. One day the cycle of depression feeding on itself will end, and you'll find yourself wishing for happiness again. It starts small - wanting to pet a dog because it makes you smile, writing with a particular pen because the ink flows really smoothly, treating yourself to a donut before work. You'll get there.
August 14th, 2016 8:51am
Happiness is good for your everyday health, both mentally and physically. It helps you push through the most difficult of times.
August 19th, 2016 2:00pm
Sometimes, if not most of the times, what we need is greater, better and more appropriate than what we want. And we all need and deserve happiness in our lives.
September 8th, 2016 7:21am
Then there isn't a point. Sometimes happiness is your own definition of it. Sometimes I'm the happiest alone, with no one around but my own thoughts and some coffee.
September 8th, 2016 8:55pm
Well, happiness will come to you even if you dont want it. sometimes it wouldn't come to you when you want it. Point of happiness, is to be happy when you get it and acknowledge what comes though..!
January 27th, 2018 1:22pm
Why don't you want it? You are a beautiful, good person and you deserve to be happy, even though in dark times it might not feel like it to you. People love and care for you. Happiness is different for everyone. For some, it's being close to family, others it's found in nature. Think about Why you don't want to be happy, what are you trying to punish yourself for? Nobody deserves to have an unhappy life xx
April 11th, 2018 3:45pm
Depends on what you define as happiness. Is it laughs with family, funtimes, friends? Well, whatever it is, I believe it may just be easier to lie in bed and dream on. Maybe some people are so used to living a life where you're numb and simply don't care for happiness. Then causing you not to want it. Not sure.
August 16th, 2019 6:35pm
If you don't want it, then you don't want it. Unfortunately we can not choose what aspects exist in our world and life, as happiness is one aspect that just exists. It doesn't mean you necessarily would need to have it, but you can't remove such an aspect out of our world. You do you and we do us:)
April 2nd, 2021 2:34pm
We humans are creatures of habit. We are remarkably resilient and have an extraordinary ability to adapt to our surroundings. When it comes to our sense of well being, we have something called a set point for happiness. The set point for happiness is psychological term that describes our general level of happiness. Each of us has a different set point—some have a high set point, meaning we are mostly happy; some of have a low set point, meaning we are mostly unhappy; while others fall somewhere in between. Our set point for happiness is based on our genetics and conditioning. While we may have emotional ups and downs throughout our lives, these are temporary. No matter what life throws at us, over time, our happiness bounces back to the same set point.
July 6th, 2016 8:49pm
depends on your definition of happiness? life is what you make it of it all I guess if you want to be happy that is totally up to you by choice
July 17th, 2016 11:32am
That is the point of happiness, to make us want to be happy everyday of our lives. And keep on going and having reasons to go on. When we are happy, there is no way that we will want to stop moving and believing that everything will fall into place one day. :)
July 21st, 2016 12:40pm
You have to experience it in order to decide :) The point is that happiness and its pursue is part not only of society core values but human nature :) Findind your pupose in life makes you happy and the more happiness you feel the more understanding you can have about wanting it or not :)
July 23rd, 2016 5:52pm
Happiness is a human understanding that can be understood by the person who has become happy as a positive reaction to the world around them. Sometimes, you might not feel that it was appropriate or substantial in that moment to feel those emotions. Those are just thoughts. The point of living a long and happy life is sometimes neglected by choosing too ignore what is the matter.
July 24th, 2016 4:03am
Then you don't have to have happiness. You can have gratitude, joy and so on. We live in a world that everything has to be defined by a word. What exactly is happiness? Define happiness. :)
July 29th, 2016 9:08pm
If you don't want happiness, that's okay! Sometimes people feel down and sometimes depressed and so i get that being happy right then and there isn't wanted. Sometimes you need to be sad at one time to feel better and when you are sad, you might not want happiness but it will come soon.
August 7th, 2016 8:30pm
happiness is something that many of us seek. it tends to improve our lives significantly, whenever it occurs. there is no point in trying to make someone happy if they don't want it. but there is a point in helping them along, perhaps trying to show them that it could make them feel well.