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What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?

137 Answers
Last Updated: 05/25/2022 at 8:43am
What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Greatlistener87
- Expert in Managing Emotions
July 8th, 2016 2:27am
If you feel comfortable just the way you are then you don't need to strive for it. Most people look for happiness above all things to be at peace but if you are not those type of people then thats okay, just be who u wanna be .
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2018 4:51pm
The most fascinating thing about happiness is that it will somehow reach you, even if you don't want it. Things around you, be it small or big, has the possibility of bringing a smile in your face. There can never be a person in this world who says that he doesn't want happiness. Even looking at the sun rising in the sky, or a bud blossoming may create a sense of satisfaction in you. This satisfaction is nothing but HAPPINESS. The point is nobody should go in search of happiness, when looking deep down inside yourself, you may find unconditioned happiness. But like all things in this world, happiness is not permanent. When one form of happiness departs, we have to patiently wait for another form of happiness, which may be bigger than the previous one. So, Fill your life with positivity and happiness.
Candid0211
July 13th, 2016 6:33pm
If you don't want it then in all likelihood it's not happiness. Atleast your happiness. Don't let others define your happiness. Do it yourself.
TogetherForeverAlways
November 16th, 2017 7:54pm
I truly do not believe you don't want happinnss! But I do believe you are maybe afraid of the suffering you think you will get if you try to pursue happiness. Give it a go, open yourself a bit more, happiness is a fantastic thing to have and share, so are love and affection,
WithHappyDay3010
November 1st, 2020 8:45am
What's the use of happiness if I don't want it? If this question is in my heart, it is a sign that I need to be hugged, advised and need to be pampered by my sweetheart. This is a sign that I am looking for the meaning of happiness and trying to introspect myself. Happiness in view of and standards of one person is different from others. Also in my opinion, that happiness is enjoying the process of life with a myriad of problems ... Happiness does not rely solely on material things, what use is all the luxury when the heart is restless? Happiness actually lies in oneself and in the heart because only the self can determine the purpose of life, achieve happiness or just artificial luxury. We can feel happy by living the meaning of life, learning, enjoying the things we like, having friends and people who love us, always be grateful and more grateful, also can always enjoy a healthy life. One person's happiness cannot be replaced by happiness by other people's standards. So, for example, if someone sees me rejecting a job with a high salary and a cool office atmosphere, and then he thinks I'm 'rejecting happiness', of course not, he has the wrong perception. Because my happiness is not in that, but in the health development of children and families. That's just an example base on my experience.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2016 6:49am
Well, you could have an unusual form of depression if you don’t even WANT to be happy. Don’t you want to be quite happy? Happiness brings you joy, a meaning to life. Being sad deprives. Nobody can force you to be happy, but don't' you think that's happier?
chasingchaos
August 11th, 2016 11:03am
Happiness is an elusive emotion for it is quite volatile and dependable on life circumstances. If your happiness is dependent on what is happening in your life or by others around you then it is quite impossible to attain happiness in your life. The more dependable and helpful emotion to aspire to is gratitude and joy. Joy is a settled state of contentment, confidence and hope that is unaffected by anything outside of us. It is an inner strength that allows us to face life challenges in a healthy and more productive way. Therefore, happiness isn't the most effective emotion to strive for, an inner peace and joy is what will allow you to face life challenges and obstacles and remain strong and resilient.
Someone357
July 30th, 2016 8:30pm
This is an interesting question. Happiness is something everyone wishes to have. You have to analyse the sotuation and see what keeps you from wanting to be happy. Is it because you think you don't deserve it, or maybe you want to punish yourself. There are endless possibilities. I think the problem is not the happiness itself, but the things associated with it.
cherry09
August 11th, 2016 4:08am
Happiness makes people around you happy. If you don't want to be happy, at least help people around you to be happy
Anonymous
September 4th, 2019 10:26pm
Happiness is something that means something different to everyone. For you, happiness might not mean the same thing as it does to your family and friends. The version of happiness that you see in the media may be the kind you don’t want. That is why it’s cool to try and find your own version of happiness. Even if you only find a little bit of joy each day, it’s better than nothing. If you truly want to be sad all the time, please talk to a trusted adult about how you feel. They will understand it and be able to guide you.
Anonymous
October 2nd, 2016 1:37am
Why would you not want to be happy? Most people want to be happy, but are scared of it because they are afraid it will go away.
SMStar
July 13th, 2016 2:52pm
Meaning is defined in the moment. The purpose of life is about seeking purpose for every moment in your life. It’s not about defining the minutia, but more like the highlights. This goes along the lines of “there’s a reason for everything” thinking. If you have the belief that there’s a reason for everything that happens, then you will discover purpose in your life. If you believe there’s a reason for your pain and sadness, and those reasons will reveal themselves in the future, then you raise your tolerance level of what’s happening now. If you feel worthless or upset now, and there’s a reason you’re feeling it now, you will discover that reason later – and it will help you become more clear on the things that happened in your life in the past.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2018 1:22pm
Why don't you want it? You are a beautiful, good person and you deserve to be happy, even though in dark times it might not feel like it to you. People love and care for you. Happiness is different for everyone. For some, it's being close to family, others it's found in nature. Think about Why you don't want to be happy, what are you trying to punish yourself for? Nobody deserves to have an unhappy life xx
Anonymous
August 16th, 2019 6:35pm
If you don't want it, then you don't want it. Unfortunately we can not choose what aspects exist in our world and life, as happiness is one aspect that just exists. It doesn't mean you necessarily would need to have it, but you can't remove such an aspect out of our world. You do you and we do us:)
mintybunny
July 28th, 2016 10:19am
Sometimes people don't want things that they need. Like do I want to eat super healthy organic food all the time? No, but it is good for you. Do sometimes I have it anyway. But just like with a new diet, you should try to steadily allow happiness in your life. You don't have to do a 180 over night.
SilentSerenityy
August 11th, 2016 5:04pm
Happiness is not a goal everyone wants to achieve. If you don't want happiness, for whatever reason, that's your prerogative. But you could argue what is the point of another person's goal if you don't want it yourself. The goal is important to them for a reason and I'm sure you have your own goals in which you can see the point of, if that makes sense.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2016 8:23pm
One day you will. One day the cycle of depression feeding on itself will end, and you'll find yourself wishing for happiness again. It starts small - wanting to pet a dog because it makes you smile, writing with a particular pen because the ink flows really smoothly, treating yourself to a donut before work. You'll get there.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2016 8:51am
Happiness is good for your everyday health, both mentally and physically. It helps you push through the most difficult of times.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2016 2:00pm
Sometimes, if not most of the times, what we need is greater, better and more appropriate than what we want. And we all need and deserve happiness in our lives.
RileyGalaxy
September 8th, 2016 7:21am
Then there isn't a point. Sometimes happiness is your own definition of it. Sometimes I'm the happiest alone, with no one around but my own thoughts and some coffee.
anamikajain
September 8th, 2016 8:55pm
Well, happiness will come to you even if you dont want it. sometimes it wouldn't come to you when you want it. Point of happiness, is to be happy when you get it and acknowledge what comes though..!
Anonymous
April 11th, 2018 3:45pm
Depends on what you define as happiness. Is it laughs with family, funtimes, friends? Well, whatever it is, I believe it may just be easier to lie in bed and dream on. Maybe some people are so used to living a life where you're numb and simply don't care for happiness. Then causing you not to want it. Not sure.
Anonymous
April 2nd, 2021 2:34pm
We humans are creatures of habit. We are remarkably resilient and have an extraordinary ability to adapt to our surroundings. When it comes to our sense of well being, we have something called a set point for happiness. The set point for happiness is psychological term that describes our general level of happiness. Each of us has a different set point—some have a high set point, meaning we are mostly happy; some of have a low set point, meaning we are mostly unhappy; while others fall somewhere in between. Our set point for happiness is based on our genetics and conditioning. While we may have emotional ups and downs throughout our lives, these are temporary. No matter what life throws at us, over time, our happiness bounces back to the same set point.
ElephantTiger1
February 9th, 2020 6:22am
When we are in a difficult place and maybe we have been sad or down for a long time, this place can begin to feel really comfortable. This place is something we know well, we know it inside and out. But when we think of happiness, it can feel so far off and maybe you are not comfortable with its unpredictability. Maybe you are afraid that if you allow yourself to truly be happy, then something bad will happen and you will go back to this familiar sad place, I don't know. But what I have learnt is that if you cannot be happy, that is okay, but I try to be joyful every day. You may question how different happiness and joy really are. Well, I feel like happiness is a state of joy, yes, but where you are not as pressured by life and an emotion to our situation. Joy on the other-hand, I feel is a choice. You can choose to be joyful even if you feel like your world is crumbling under your feet. You can choose to look at the day with a joyous and grateful heart, aware that bad things may happen, but choosing to enjoy every moment of good, and search for the good, even amidst the bad. So maybe today, don't aim for happiness (though is you can, do it) maybe find a contentment in life; learn to become neutral of your life. You cannot just wake up one day and be happy with everything and who you are, it is a progress. Before we can be happy we need to not be sad, or down, we need to become content. And may I ask that you keep a gratitude journey and enter into every day, even if what you are thankful feels small. And when a bad day hits, read over it and see everything in your life that is good and that does bring you happiness. You may find that happiness isn't as far away as you once thought. Never be afraid to reach out, I am here for you. Best of luck.
heavenForest58
July 3rd, 2019 1:43pm
Everyone has a different version of happiness. Unfortunately, mass media and social networks tell people what happiness is (or rather should be) and that is where the confusion begins. Happiness to me is not going to the club and spending a lot of money to “make it rain” or show people I have money or flirt with 3 different girls who all have fake boobs and daddy issues. Nor is happiness going shopping and spending away all your troubles. These are versions of happiness being sold to vulnerable people for reasons of consumerism, among other factors, none of which have to do with actually being happy. My advice is to ignore what you think makes other people happy, because most people have no idea what makes them happy. Concentrate on the things in life that give you peace or comfort, even if it is something dark or might seem strange to other people. Happiness is being at peace within yourself, and should never have to do with anything from the outside world, especially material items. I disagree with your question that you don’t want happiness. Everyone searches for happiness, it just has to come from within and be your own version of it.
Anonymous
October 13th, 2019 12:18am
If you're happy, you'll likely smile a lot more often. Dopamine, endorphins and serotonin are released into your bloodstream when you smile, this makes you feel better within yourself, makes you more relaxed which can lower your heart rate and blood pressure, smiling is actually beneficial for you physical health too! Laughing can reduce levels of cortisol, the stress hormone and can give a quick burst of energy! The neurotransmitters which are released when you're happy are natural pain relievers, thus helping boost your immune system and helping you feel a lot more comfortable as it protects you from aches and pains. You will feel a lot better within yourself mentally but also physically, along with this, you'll likely feel more confident as well as having more energy and will be able to do more activities so you could make more friends too!
Anonymous
April 5th, 2020 2:08am
You may feel you don’t want it, but you need it. Everyone needs happiness to go through life and thrive. The point of happiness is to feel like you belong, the point of happiness is to have a purpose in life and everyone deserves it. No body says they want happiness, but everyone deserves it. Happiness may be a feeling, a person or even a place but once you truly feel happiness, you won’t see that you want it, you will see that it makes your life better and that you were missing out all this time. You deserve happiness, whether you want it or not.
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2020 5:08am
It's a very tough question and i have never seen something like this :O. I started thinking. I want to ask you this question so that may be you will think in these lines. What's the point of only being sad? Why don't you want both happiness and sadness? We all want to be content with what we have and it's important we feel peaceful with what we have and what we do. Mentally our brain releases certain hormones based on the feelings we get and it's important that you find some joy or life in things. So ask the same question in different way to see what stops you from not wanting to feel sadness and happiness? Or is there any-other emotion you want to feel?
supportiveDreamer61
March 1st, 2020 3:18pm
You do want it, but you're too stuck in your depression to see it. You still love your demons. You probably want something to complain about. You probably see no solution to anything. You probably don't want help. You probably don't want help so you can give up and give into your demons. You probably tend to see things as black and white. Consequently, these is known as all or nothing thinking. The world is a beautiful place if you choose to see it. Think positive thoughts instead of negative ones. See the world as a positive place. Good luck.
ccsquared17
July 23rd, 2020 6:51pm
I think that that happiness is a very important thing in our lives. Not just my life, your life, but everyone else's lives in the community. This is because every life is linked to another, and happiness can spread like a wave which is why your personality traits not only affect yourself, but also others. Moreover, I think—no, I believe—that we should all try to be as happy as we can because we should care about other individuals. Oftentimes, entire communities are in bad, stressed, or depressed moods because some important people are. A country can feel like they will lose a war if the government says so.