How do I deal with the feeling that my boyfriend doesn't respect my feelings or opinions?
Last Updated: 05/18/2021 at 2:33am
Stacy Overton, PhD.
I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.
Top Rated Answers
If your boyfriend will not be respectful of your feelings or opinions then depending on the extent of what his words or actions are then you need to come to a decision of whether being in the relationship is good for you. If this is an issue in your relationshipthen talking to him about it is the first thing you need to do. If he continues then it might be a good idea to decide whether or not you want to be with someone like that. Just realise that we all deserve respect so don’t sell yourself short for anyone who doesn’t respect your thoughts, feelings and opinions.
First, fact-check. Second, find a proper time you can talk about it. EVEN IF it's just a feeling and EVEN IF you've dealt with it already but it keeps returning, it's still a good idea to bring it up with someone you trust. If insecurity is involved, it tends to return; it's nothing to panic about, just do something about it. When talking with HIM about it, clarify that you are talking about things not to antagonize him (even if it's not just a feeling) but to mend your connection.
I would tackle this issue in steps- 1) Bring your concerns to your boyfriend's attention kindly, and without directly targeting him. Maybe like this, "I feel as though my feelings and opinions aren't acknowledged or validated. I don't feel like our relationship is equal sometimes, and that bothers me." 2) If he listens and understands, then you've done it! If he doesn't understand your perspective or says it's not true, then maybe you should reeavalute your relationship and what you will stand for. A relationship is founded on mutual respect, kindness, support, and understanding. If you feel as though you aren't receiving those things from your partner, I would consider separating.
Ask him why he feels that way and why he doesn't agree with me, instead of becoming upset. Talk about how this makes me feel.
You should try to talk to him, tell him how you feel and elaborate on your views. This will help to build a connection in the relationship and strength your bond.
Ask yourself if he has displayed this outright. If he has, use an "I feel _____, when you _____" statement to describe how you feel when he says things that you view as disrespectful. Often people do not realize the power their words and actions can have on us. Using the above statement allows you to take responsibility for your own feelings as well as communicate clearly with your partner what behavior of theirs you do not find to be respectful. If they disrespect the feeling you have just laid out it may be time to take into account if this is a pattern in your relationship that causes it to be unhealthy.
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