I feel like I overreact when my boyfriend is around girls I don't like. I have addressed it to him before but I feel like I sound crazy. Am I crazy?
Last Updated: 12/29/2020 at 2:41am
Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)
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Top Rated Answers
A good first step would be to ask why you're jealous of these girls. What about them makes you uncomfortable? Often, jealously is less about your partner, and more about one's own insecurities. Discuss these insecurities with your partner, and the jealousy may fade.
You are not crazy at all so don't ever think that! You love your boyfriend and care for him, of course it is going to agitate you when he is around people you don't like. You just have to find a way or learn to be civil when you are around them because your boyfriend is always going to have friends too :)
No, in a relationship you should be sensitive of each others feelings, and not do things that make your partner uncomfortable. You are not crazy. As a boyfriend, he should be understanding of you not wanting him around girls that you don't like, and he should stop the behavior. I say this mainly if there is a reason for you not to like the girls, like if they did something to come between the two of you or have done something specifically to you. In this case, he is totally in the wrong. But, if you just dislike them because you're worried he will do something, but they haven't actually made advances at him then you need to be with someone you can trust, or you need to work through learning to trust him. You are not crazy, and if it is again the first circumstance that I named, then you should be with someone who genuinely respects you and doesn't make you feel crazy for having normal emotions.
No, you're not crazy. It's perfectly understandable for a girl to be that way. They may feel that their boyfriend might not be as invested in the relationship anymore. The boyfriend just needs to hear the girl out and understand why she feels that way.
Nope, not crazy. Everyone has "crazy" thoughts, even insecurities. First, try to find out the reason why behind them.... Are there any repetitive thoughts ("automatic thoughts"/AT) that occur during/after you see him with them? What do you dwell on during those times? How come you don't react the same way when he's with other people--do you overreact to all girls? Second, seek support. It doesn't always have to be from your boyfriend. It can be from another person you trust. It can even be from yourself.
You are not crazy! Your feelings and experiences are valid. There is an old saying "if it's hysterical, it's historical" in other words, if something comes up and makes you react SUPER strongly, that is because there may have been an experience that could have happened prior that may have left an impact before or caused you hurt. This is worth journaling about or letting your therapist know about and seeing what that means for you. I would also communicate how you feel to your boyfriend using I statements such as "I feel XYZ way when you're around these people".
No, you are never crazy for feeling any type of way despite the small details or the situation. Anyone that makes you feel crazy, should be reevaluated. Take time to separate yourself from the situation in order to reevaluate yourself as well to decipher a clear minded conclusion logically based instead of pure impulse emotions from being upset in the moment. Always keep in mind that anyone that makes you feel less than what you are or doesn't let you express your natural emotions, may not be the healthiest person for you. Always keep yourself as the number one priority in your mind when you address these things.
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