I harm myself on purpose. I never do it because I need to cope, I do it because I like the pain and like to have something on my body. I know I should stop, but I don't want to. Why is that?
163 Answers
Last Updated: 03/31/2022 at 10:20pm
Moderated by
Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner
Counselor
I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.
Top Rated Answers
Self harm becomes an addictive behavior quickly because it is such an intense feeling that people go to for various reasons. Even if you don't use it to cope, the intense sensation can be something you end up relying on if you like the way it feels.
Sometimes you can get addicted to causing yourself pain, I know because I did it as well. Its easy to get addicted to the pain and actually need it in your life. I used to need it so badly I would go insane without it but now I've learnt how to deal without it
Anonymous
July 26th, 2017 4:04pm
That's something you like. Your body gets a rush if endorphins when you self harm. It makes you feel better. That's why you don't want to stop. Maybe it has even become an addiction. I know, for me, my anxiety chills out when I feel the cuts and the scabs. Even when it's not a coping method, you still need to get help! You don't need to do this alone anymore my friend! Reach out to someone! Whether it's in your real life, me, or any other listener who supports people struggling just like you. You are NOT alone. We are here. I am here :)
Anonymous
August 6th, 2017 11:46pm
Some people who engage in self-harm often find a hard time identifying their reason. What we do know about self-harm is that people get a sense of reward, control, and addiction from doing it, so there is an underlying motivation to keep doing it.
While the reason may not be to 'cope' in the typical sense (i.e., escaping negative thoughts or emotions), but rather coping with the negative thoughts and feelings of anxiety or lack of control that they experience.
Talking with a counsellor or mental health professional can help get to the underlying thoughts and motivations for self-harm, and ultimately work through it and work towards recovery.
You've developed a response to this pain. You've come to rely on this feeling to feel better. You need to find something else such as working out, playing a game, or listening to music in order to change this habit.
Self harming and/or cutting is a addiction. It releases adrenaline & dopamine (which are your 'feel good'/happy hormones) to compensate for the pain, and/or you might feel like you're lacking control in some areas of your life and you make up for it with selfharm as you chose the place & intensity of the pain. Please do yourself a favor and seek medical help for it, and if you absolutely need something on your body, why not be artistic and look up tattooing or similar?
Anonymous
September 21st, 2017 8:15pm
It's something that isn't often talked about with self harm. I've been through this! In the end the healthy way to do it became to get tattoos because I could feel them on my body and they hurt a bit. Obviously this isn't a solution but it became something that I would allow myself to do instead of cutting, in the end after therapy I was able to stop the compulsions after using stickers I could pick off my skin.
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2017 11:24pm
Many people think of an addiction and automatically relate it to drugs or alcohol. Addictions come about when the brain releases a chemical that makes you feel good-dopamine. You said that you like the pain and the thought of having something on your body, as this happens dopamine is released. Your body remembers that when you do this dopamine is released, and it likes that. It becomes addicted because it knows that when you do this certain thing, dopamine is released. Truly it’s not your fault, it’s your body/brain’s natural reaction.
maybe it is a way of coping? im the same way! its just thats how you cope, and you dont want to, because when you feel a certain emotion, your mind thinks : hey? what did i do last time i felt this way?oh yeah! self harm! that made me feel better, i should do it again!
Anonymous
November 11th, 2017 2:53am
Because you are addicted to it. It is addictive for you at first and then you do it more and more. It is important to stop
you probably feel in control when you do it. you feel as though you are in absolute control of your body. I suggest talking to a professional about this behaviour. It can be very dangerous for you.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2017 4:24pm
I have went through a problem like this before in past, it is difficult but I found a way to fix my problem by doing less and less harm and instead of hurting I would find something else to.focus on and draw on myself untill things soon were better. I know that its hard but stay confident and you can solve this !
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2017 2:41am
Because at times is hard to stop we are so used to feeling that pain that we don't want to let it go.
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2017 2:01pm
maybe because you're kind of addicted to the feeling it gives you, or maybe you're thinking if you stop doing this you'll not get this feeling elsewhere
When you self harm, you are ultimately injuring the body. The nerves send the painful feeling to your brain. As soon as this happens your brain releases a happy chemical called "dopeamine" in ways to cope with pain. Without knowing it, you don't long for the pain, you long for the dopamine.
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2017 1:27pm
Some people find that they just need that release and pain to flow from their body. Sometimes it can be because it has started as a release and you just don't know how to stop. Do not worry this can happen to people but there are alternatives to self-harming such as pinging an elastic band where you would normally harm or drawing or going for a walk. I hope this helps
People can self-harm for a multitude of reasons, and there is neither a "right" nor "wrong" reason for someone to self-harm. Similar to other negative mechanisms (like smoking and alcohol), self-harm is an addiction and can become a reliance tool, even when it is not used for coping. Thus, it can be hard to stop wanting to do it.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2017 5:47pm
Self harm releases hormones called endorphins, these are 'feel good' hormones. You can become addicted to these hormones, just like you can become addicted to smoking, alcohol etc. However recovery is always possible!
Anonymous
December 20th, 2017 3:12pm
You are harming yourself because it has become a habit for you, and like you have already acknowledged, the pain is something you like. And you are aware that this is not a good habit. What you can do is whenever you are feeling the urge to cut, try doing something else instead to distract yourself. Drawing, cooking, painting on yourself has been a popular one for those trying to stop self harming. Squeezing an ice cube is also an alternative. Good luck :)
Anonymous
January 24th, 2018 2:24am
That is a tough question to answer. Many people use self-harm as a coping mechanism, whereas you simply harm yourself since you enjoy it, it's more of a hobby?
You could possibly be a masochist, though I cannot say that for sure, it is something you could look into and explore, to find out for yourself.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2018 3:53pm
I believe it's an addiction. I have personally gone through this and it's just that feeling that your body gets and you want to feel that way constantly. I had over come this and I know others will/have too.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2018 8:44am
Though you might not be conscious of the purpose, I am glad you actually admit that you are doing it on purpose. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what that purpose is. Only then can you find a replacement activity that can help change your pattern of behavior.
You mustve been through somethings really harsh. Some people use pain as a shortcut to mindfulness, because it forces them to experience the moment.If you are injuring yourself or you feel very distressed about your involvement with pain, I would recommend seeking advice from a psychologist.
This could potentially be a distraction for another area in your life out of balance. Self harm can seem like a way of having a bit of control in our lives that at times are chaotic.
I have harmed myself physically during addiction many times. I did it so I could feel something other than the pain the addiction had been causing or just a general sense of euphoria caused by pain. In a sense, I enjoyed it also. The reason I stopped is because it is not a healthy habit and it can be a very hard one to break. If you know you should stop, you might consider taking actions to break the habit.
Self-harming releases endorphins, and gives you and immediate euphoric feeling. Pain and pleasure can feel very similar. I just want to mention there is a risk for infection or possible death. I know you say it is not for coping, but maybe you need to find something positive that makes you feel good like self-harm does.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 7:35pm
Self harm has been proved to be addicting. This happens because you have put it in your mind that you like it.
It’s how you are screaming for help, the scars are a reminder of that you need help, and that you aren’t okay.
Anonymous
April 19th, 2018 5:40pm
Because that way you are stronger to the pain that others give you. Hurting yourself is self torture and a punishment for what you did wrong that day.
The reasons that people choose to willingly harm themselves are varied as much from person to person as any other choice anyone makes. Part of what motivates you may be the chemical factor that plays a part in the behaviors you are utilizing. Self harm is often described as using one's own body as a drug. Since I cannot possibly know your motivations better than you do, i would recommend that you seek professional counsel for this to help you understand and become more aware of your own emotional and cognitive patterns.
Related Questions: I harm myself on purpose. I never do it because I need to cope, I do it because I like the pain and like to have something on my body. I know I should stop, but I don't want to. Why is that?
why does cutting make me feel better but then bad afterwards?Does cutting for only a few months and stopping make me any less of a self-harmer?How do I explain scars when a young child asks about them?What do I say to people that ask about my scars without making them uncomfortable?How to deal with self-harm alone?Why do some wounds turn purple?Is scratching yourself with a paper clip on purpose considered self harm when you don’t bleed?Whenever I bandage myself with rolled gauze I can never get it tight enough, so it always ends up slipping off. I want to be able to bandage myself properly. Any tips?If I don't have a bandage big enough to cover a cut what else can I use?What are some good coping mechanisms for sadness? I have a bad habit of hitting or punching myself