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I harm myself on purpose. I never do it because I need to cope, I do it because I like the pain and like to have something on my body. I know I should stop, but I don't want to. Why is that?

151 Answers
Last Updated: 03/13/2021 at 6:09am
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Tara Davis, Doctorate in Counselling Psychology


I have worked successfully with a wide range of difficulties. Nothing is more important than developing a warm, compassionate relationship with someone you can trust

Top Rated Answers
September 9th, 2017 7:21pm
Self harming and/or cutting is a addiction. It releases adrenaline & dopamine (which are your 'feel good'/happy hormones) to compensate for the pain, and/or you might feel like you're lacking control in some areas of your life and you make up for it with selfharm as you chose the place & intensity of the pain. Please do yourself a favor and seek medical help for it, and if you absolutely need something on your body, why not be artistic and look up tattooing or similar?
September 21st, 2017 8:15pm
It's something that isn't often talked about with self harm. I've been through this! In the end the healthy way to do it became to get tattoos because I could feel them on my body and they hurt a bit. Obviously this isn't a solution but it became something that I would allow myself to do instead of cutting, in the end after therapy I was able to stop the compulsions after using stickers I could pick off my skin.
October 22nd, 2017 11:24pm
Many people think of an addiction and automatically relate it to drugs or alcohol. Addictions come about when the brain releases a chemical that makes you feel good-dopamine. You said that you like the pain and the thought of having something on your body, as this happens dopamine is released. Your body remembers that when you do this dopamine is released, and it likes that. It becomes addicted because it knows that when you do this certain thing, dopamine is released. Truly it’s not your fault, it’s your body/brain’s natural reaction.
November 10th, 2017 6:21pm
maybe it is a way of coping? im the same way! its just thats how you cope, and you dont want to, because when you feel a certain emotion, your mind thinks : hey? what did i do last time i felt this way?oh yeah! self harm! that made me feel better, i should do it again!
November 11th, 2017 2:53am
Because you are addicted to it. It is addictive for you at first and then you do it more and more. It is important to stop
November 11th, 2017 10:00pm
you probably feel in control when you do it. you feel as though you are in absolute control of your body. I suggest talking to a professional about this behaviour. It can be very dangerous for you.
November 15th, 2017 4:24pm
I have went through a problem like this before in past, it is difficult but I found a way to fix my problem by doing less and less harm and instead of hurting I would find something else to.focus on and draw on myself untill things soon were better. I know that its hard but stay confident and you can solve this !
November 23rd, 2017 2:41am
Because at times is hard to stop we are so used to feeling that pain that we don't want to let it go.
November 23rd, 2017 2:01pm
maybe because you're kind of addicted to the feeling it gives you, or maybe you're thinking if you stop doing this you'll not get this feeling elsewhere
November 25th, 2017 12:46am
When you self harm, you are ultimately injuring the body. The nerves send the painful feeling to your brain. As soon as this happens your brain releases a happy chemical called "dopeamine" in ways to cope with pain. Without knowing it, you don't long for the pain, you long for the dopamine.
December 2nd, 2017 1:27pm
Some people find that they just need that release and pain to flow from their body. Sometimes it can be because it has started as a release and you just don't know how to stop. Do not worry this can happen to people but there are alternatives to self-harming such as pinging an elastic band where you would normally harm or drawing or going for a walk. I hope this helps
December 7th, 2017 9:41pm
People can self-harm for a multitude of reasons, and there is neither a "right" nor "wrong" reason for someone to self-harm. Similar to other negative mechanisms (like smoking and alcohol), self-harm is an addiction and can become a reliance tool, even when it is not used for coping. Thus, it can be hard to stop wanting to do it.
December 14th, 2017 5:47pm
Self harm releases hormones called endorphins, these are 'feel good' hormones. You can become addicted to these hormones, just like you can become addicted to smoking, alcohol etc. However recovery is always possible!
December 20th, 2017 3:12pm
You are harming yourself because it has become a habit for you, and like you have already acknowledged, the pain is something you like. And you are aware that this is not a good habit. What you can do is whenever you are feeling the urge to cut, try doing something else instead to distract yourself. Drawing, cooking, painting on yourself has been a popular one for those trying to stop self harming. Squeezing an ice cube is also an alternative. Good luck :)
January 24th, 2018 2:24am
That is a tough question to answer. Many people use self-harm as a coping mechanism, whereas you simply harm yourself since you enjoy it, it's more of a hobby? You could possibly be a masochist, though I cannot say that for sure, it is something you could look into and explore, to find out for yourself.
January 25th, 2018 3:53pm
I believe it's an addiction. I have personally gone through this and it's just that feeling that your body gets and you want to feel that way constantly. I had over come this and I know others will/have too.
February 1st, 2018 8:44am
Though you might not be conscious of the purpose, I am glad you actually admit that you are doing it on purpose. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what that purpose is. Only then can you find a replacement activity that can help change your pattern of behavior.
April 6th, 2018 3:37pm
You mustve been through somethings really harsh. Some people use pain as a shortcut to mindfulness, because it forces them to experience the moment.If you are injuring yourself or you feel very distressed about your involvement with pain, I would recommend seeking advice from a psychologist.
April 6th, 2018 8:58pm
This could potentially be a distraction for another area in your life out of balance. Self harm can seem like a way of having a bit of control in our lives that at times are chaotic.
April 7th, 2018 1:36am
I have harmed myself physically during addiction many times. I did it so I could feel something other than the pain the addiction had been causing or just a general sense of euphoria caused by pain. In a sense, I enjoyed it also. The reason I stopped is because it is not a healthy habit and it can be a very hard one to break. If you know you should stop, you might consider taking actions to break the habit.
April 15th, 2018 6:37pm
Self-harming releases endorphins, and gives you and immediate euphoric feeling. Pain and pleasure can feel very similar. I just want to mention there is a risk for infection or possible death. I know you say it is not for coping, but maybe you need to find something positive that makes you feel good like self-harm does.
April 15th, 2018 7:35pm
Self harm has been proved to be addicting. This happens because you have put it in your mind that you like it.
April 18th, 2018 12:08am
It’s how you are screaming for help, the scars are a reminder of that you need help, and that you aren’t okay.
April 19th, 2018 5:40pm
Because that way you are stronger to the pain that others give you. Hurting yourself is self torture and a punishment for what you did wrong that day.
April 21st, 2018 3:16am
The reasons that people choose to willingly harm themselves are varied as much from person to person as any other choice anyone makes. Part of what motivates you may be the chemical factor that plays a part in the behaviors you are utilizing. Self harm is often described as using one's own body as a drug. Since I cannot possibly know your motivations better than you do, i would recommend that you seek professional counsel for this to help you understand and become more aware of your own emotional and cognitive patterns.
April 26th, 2018 8:44pm
You can’t stop because it like that with phones, smoking, ect. You want to feel the way it makes you feel
April 29th, 2018 7:49pm
Well, from my experience, sadly, we like the way it feels. But, the upside to the whole situation, tattoos are the same thing, but instead of leaving a scar they leave a beautiful piece of art to help tell your story. My suggestion is look into the beautiful world of tattooing, and if you enjoy creating the pain yourself, learn to tattoo. Tattoo your own body. Create art. Perhaps some bad advice, you should also seek professional help.
May 4th, 2018 8:33pm
It could be because maybe you feel that you don't feel any emotion or feeling. And therefore you cut to feel.
May 9th, 2018 2:00pm
Is good the fact you know is wrong.Try to get involve in new activities then you can put your mind in different things.Also try therapy, will help you more profundly.
May 17th, 2018 2:21am
Physical scars are easier to feel, bleed, and heal than emotional scars. Harming ourselves allows us to feel and see our pain. Then, as the scar comes, we have a secret reminder of the pain we have endured and overcome. Unfortunately, physical pain and scars do not really ease our emotional pain. They just give us more pain in the long run.