Someone yelled at me and I couldn't yell back, how can I vent?
Last Updated: 06/01/2020 at 5:53am
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
Unfortunately, someone yelling at me has served as my greatest form of humiliating experience. Everytime this happens, I usually go to a place where I can be alone and then cry, or shed tears. Then I always write down, "You could have told me in a nice way, why yell at me?"
I find venting to a trusted friend or family member very helpful. Writing how you are feeling can help get your feelings out as well.
Feel free to private message me or any other listener you feel like you could have a connection with on the site! All chats are confidential and non-judgmental, safe zones. If you feel like venting to one of us could help, it doesn't hurt to try! :)
Talk about why that makessyou upset, and does it actually matter about how that person yelled at you? Will you ever see them agian?
From my experience I have learned that yelling back and forth doesn't make situations any better. Which is why it's better to resist yelling back, and instead leaving the area if possible to have time to reflect and calm down for when one yells at you it can cause strong negative reactions. It's better to take a deep breath and count down until there isn't any negative abrupt urges.
Talk to someone you can confide in about the situation and how it made you feel and consider going back to the person to say that you've thought about what happened and you'd like to say something.
Violence is never the answer. Fighting back just makes things worse. You can vent on here, with frinds or relatives by saying to them all the things you would've liked to tell the other person. Once you're calmed down, you can go and talk to the person that yelled at you and explain your feelings
Are you seeking ways to communicate with the person who yelled at you, or ways to vent about the experience? If it's the former, getting the person into a conversation in which both of you are able to calmly discuss your points of view is probably the best course of action -- you two can see where the other is coming from, and work out a solution to ensure that the frustration doesn't happen again. If you simply need to vent about the experience, that's what 7cups is here for! Journaling is also a great outlet for frustration if you're not up for talking to an actual person. Playing repetitive games and drawing can also be soothing. Experiment with different forms of self care to see what works best for you.
This is a very common problem. Vent to a friend, do your best to move on. If the situation permits, sit down with the offending party later and explain to them why you didn't appreciate the way they spoke to you, and that you would like them to pay you the same respect that you do them.
From my personal experiences, fight or flight always works. If you can't yell back, take flight! By that I mean to do some form of vigorous exercise. Even brisk walking will ease your anxiety and get rid of the feeling of needing to vent.
writing, punching a pillow, drawing, writing them a letter and throw it out, poetry, telling a loved one
Yell into a pillow, talk to a good friend, write an angry letter to the person who yelled at you (without sending it)
When someone yells at us it is human nature to feel embarrassed and angry by it. You can always come to 7cups and talk to a listener if you would like to vent.
If you are feeling frustrated, angry and like you need to get it out, you could do a number of things: 1. Learn to do some relaxation techniques. These can help clear your mind and will calm you down. They are great for your overall mood and they can come in handy in any situation. They can also be done anywhere, are free and can don’t require any effort. 2. Join a gym, go running or do something physical, basically just exercise it out of you!. Not only will the frustration help your determination but the endorphins released will help your mood. Also, you'll get fit as a bonus! If you constantly feel angry and/or frustrated then why not take up boxing, kick boxing or a martial art? Just remember to save your frustration for your sport. 3. If the gym and exercise isn’t your thing, you could take up singing. Why not join a band or, if you’re not too confident and you don’t think you’re a very good singer, join a local community choir - There are some excellent ones out there who cover pop tunes and by being in a choir you can hide behind other people! Singing is proven to be therapeutic and is a great way to get rid of your frustration. 4. Talk about it. Why not speak to the person shouting at you and ask them to speak to you, rather than shouting? Easier said than done but this may nip the problem in the bud. We all need some “constructive criticism” now and again, if you can get it in the right way it’s much easier to take. Whatever your choice, just remember that a minute or two of being shouted at may make you angry, upset or frustrated, but in the grand scheme of life it’s just a couple of minutes of your life. Don’t let it get you down too much and try to avoid that situation again so you can remove yourself from it. Take up one (or more) of the 4 options above, you’ll feel better for it anyway.
You can go alone in your room and scream, listen to hard music like strong letal, hit your pillow, write about your feelings or simply talk about it to someone.
Write a letter for the person, saying everything you wish you said, but dont send it. Its a good way to let it all out without hurting someone else
I find keeping a journal helps me in these situations. I also release some of my energy in productive ways at the gym or batting cages.
You muse talk to them in a calm tone. Speaking directly in a soft tone can help the person calm down.
I wish people would realise that I am here to help them, but I know if I am to really help them then I must stay there through the unpleasantness and just listen to them.
You can give yourself some space from every1 and in your personal space scream or yell do whatever u need to release the anger. Screaming back at a person that is already screaming to u will not help solve or cool anything. So not screaming back was the right thing to do in that situation.
You can try writing it all down! Or you can try talking to someone about it! Some people even take up a sport to get their frustration out. Whatever works best for you.
You could tell a trusted adult about how you are feeling. I can help you feel better and make sure you are ok. I understand that being yelled at is not fun. You are very kind not to yell back I’m very impressed. If I would be yelled at I would not feel very good I bet you don’t too. I would suggest taking some calming exercises and relax. Of course I can’t give you advice and you don’t have to follow it but that is what I would do. I’m sorry you were yelled at. Like I said relax and tell a trusted person to help you while I’m not there.
Sounds like you might be feeling some anger because you got yelled at, I would be angry too. Some things that I do when I am angry is to journal, or vent by playing video games or listening to music. If you are anxious from the anger, hot showers are also a good coping technique. Another good way to vent is to talk to us here on 7cups! Anger can be a really hard emotion to deal with, but proper management of anger will take you far in life and your personal relationships. There are lots of coping techniques out there, so don't be scared to research ones outside of the ones I mentioned!
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