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Hello, 7 Cups Community! I’m Rebekah, you may have seen me around the site as a safety and quality ambassador. A while ago (over 2 years now!), @MidnightRaven999 and I were talking about things that we should avoid on 7 Cups. This list is quite expansive, but probably isn’t including every issue that can arise. Let me know in a comment below this post if I’ve left out anything!
No No’s for Listeners
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Self-Review or Contact Personal Listener/Member Account
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What?
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This is where we leave reviews for ourselves from our personal member accounts, or attempt to increase "cheers" or "chats" on profiles.
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Why?
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Your profile would not correctly represent who you are as a listener, leading members to be misled.
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We want our reviews to accurately reflect our behaviour and support from members who we actually offered it to, not a biased or inaccurate rating. Reviewing ourselves does not achieve what a ‘real’ review does!
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 4 behaviour points.
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Talk to Multiple Members at Once
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What?
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This is where we offer support to multiple members at once through PMs.
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Why?
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It’s unfair to our members. They would not have our sole focus/attention. It’s also unfair to ourselves. We are more likely to burn out this way.
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We run the risk of sending a message to the wrong user!
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Behavioural Consequences?
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No.
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Break Confidentiality
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What?
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This is where we reference another user by name and/or specific content from a confidential 1-1 chat. This also includes sharing screenshots from private conversations.
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Why?
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It can feel very upsetting and frustrating when our private chat details are exposed elsewhere. Not only that, it also breaks the trust that has been put into you.
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Try and place yourselves in the position of a member who has just given some private information to a listener via PMs. Would you want your listener spreading your information around the rooms?
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 1 behaviour point.
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Support Users in Crisis
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What?
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This is where we offer support to users who are currently in a crisis state, for example wanting to harm themselves or others.
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Why?
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We are not equipped/trained to support users who are in a crisis situation. Please also note that we cannot, under any circumstances, contact emergency services on behalf of a user. Due to the anonymity of the site, users cannot be identified, thus making it redundant to attempt.
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We can’t hold someone’s life in our hands -- it is not our responsibility.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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No.
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Use a Listener Account to get Personal Support
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What?
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This is where we try to gain personal support from a listener while using a listener account. This is NOT the same as receiving peer or chat support.
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Why?
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Listener accounts are for offering support only. It’s unprofessional to try and access support from this type of account.
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Member accounts are the appropriate account for gaining personal support. Please see this link for further information ---> https://bit.ly/31vRrEs [https://bit.ly/31vRrEs]
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Behavioural Consequences?
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No.
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Disrespect/Act Uncooperative with Listener Coaching Team (LCT)
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What?
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This is where we ignore the suggestions of, or are disrespectful towards, members of the LCT who have contacted you.
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Why?
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Everyone should always show respect and courteousness to others.
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Listener Coaches are trained to offer support along your listener journey. They want to help you -- they are not there to attack you (or be attacked).
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 3 behaviour points.
No No’s for Everyone
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Triangulate
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What?
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This is where an issue between two users involves a third user, usually through discussion in PMs or rooms.
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Why?
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Triangulation perpetuates rumours, gossip, and can be harmful to wider situations where confidentiality is essential.
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Spreading mis- or dis-information can be harmful to the site and the thousands of people who use it.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 3 behaviour points.
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Connect Offsite
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What?
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This is where we have contact with users offsite, such as on social media. This does NOT include knowing someone personally (in real life) and then suggesting they join 7 Cups. However, we all should be anonymous on our accounts, so your accounts should be kept separate and anonymised.
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Why?
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It violates privacy and confidentiality rules. Engaging in offsite contact is dangerous, because no one is ever who they say they are on the internet. I've lost count of how many horror stories that have come up due to offsite contact. It's not worth it.
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I know from experience how harmful offsite contact can be. Read here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/safe7cups/OffsiteContact_2701/MyExperienceswithOffsiteContact_317308/] for more information.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in between 3 - 6 behaviour points, depending on the number of individuals involved.
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Make Multiple Accounts
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What?
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This is where we create more than one listener and one member account per person.
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Why?
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If one or both of your accounts have been banned/are inaccessible, the correct procedure is to fill out this form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScqva6u9GVllcKFBro2ZOg2tugEknrU8cMoi__JJClisFZzJw/viewform], not to make multiple accounts. Any and all multiple accounts (including the original 'main' account) are terminated.
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There is no point to having more than 1 listener or member account. It can be confusing for others and the 'points' you earn from listening/engaging in rooms will not adequately reflect YOU.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 3 behaviour points.
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Bully Others
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What?
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This is where we intentionally hurt the feelings of another user, or make them feel uncomfortable consistently in the rooms or in PMs.
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Why?
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Bullying isn't okay and it shouldn't be normalised. 7 Cups is a platform for support, not for causing hurt.
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Being rude, disrespectful, or mean-spirited is not compatible with how we want our site to be. We aim to promote inclusivity, safety, and a safe space for those who need it.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 3 behaviour points.
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Act Inappropriately
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What?
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This is where we do not behave in an appropriate manner, often relating to tone and language.
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Why?
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Using an inappropriate tone or language not only makes users feel uncomfortable, it can make them feel unsafe and unsupported.
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7 Cups promotes a supportive and safe environment for everyone -- acting inappropriately goes against this.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 3 behaviour points.
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Roleplay/Chatting Sexually
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What?
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This is where we send sexually explicit messages to each other, usually through PMs. This is usually via L-M (listener-member), but can sometimes be L-L (listener-listener).
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Why?
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7 Cups is not a dating site, nor is it an appropriate place to be sending sexual messages/images.
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Our platform is not the right place for roleplaying or sex-chatting. Not only is it unprofessional from a listener perspective, it is actively taking advantage of vulnerable users. We are all here because we were/are struggling with something, and engaging in a sexual conversation with a fellow user, be it onsite or offsite, can be detrimental to the healing processes many of us experience.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 8 behaviour points. It often results in a permanent ban, as well.
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Engage in Romantic Relationships
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What?
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This is where we form romantic bonds with other users, such as starting a romantic relationship or connecting offsite to do so.
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Why?
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7 Cups is a mental health support platform, not a place for forming romantic relationships.
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Not only is it unprofessional from a listener perspective, it is actively taking advantage of vulnerable users. We are all here because we were/are struggling with something, and engaging in a romantic relationship with a fellow user, be it onsite or offsite, can be detrimental to the healing processes many of us experience.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 5 behaviour points.
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Engage in Conflict
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What?
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This is where we essentially 'fight' or argue with other users.
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Why?
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7 Cups is a place for everyone to feel comfortable and supported. Arguments and fights do not facilitate that, rather the opposite. If ever there is an issue between yourself and another user, do not 'fan the flame'. Use conflict resolution techniques, and if needed, contact helpdesk [https://help.7cups.com/hc/en-us/requests/new/] with screenshots.
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I understand that we all have opinions. However, 7 Cups aims to stay as neutral and inclusive as possible, and as a result, sharing (and engaging in conflict over) things such as political views, religious beliefs or other thoughts that can cause disruption, should be largely avoided.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 2 behaviour points.
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Impersonate Others
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What?
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This is where we pretend to be a different user on the site, such as admin, an ambassador, a community mod, or another user even without leadership roles.
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Why?
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If impersonating admin or an ambassador, users may feel they can trust you with sensitive information, leading to compromisation of situations that are best dealt with by admin. In the same vein, impersonators could give incorrect or misleading information.
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We are all our own individual people. That's what sets us apart from everyone else. There's no point in trying to be someone's double, because there's only ever enough room for one of each person.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 5 behaviour points.
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Guess Who ComMods Are
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What?
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This is where we try to guess whether Community Moderators have 'main' or 'other' member/listener accounts on the site.
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Why?
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ComMods deserve a right to be anonymous, and to feel safe. Releasing information on the alleged identity of ComMods can compromise safety, as they are targeted quite frequently by malicious users.
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It's an invasion of privacy, and is invalidating of their identities. There are very real people behind the screen.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This is a type of gossip, thus will result in 2 behaviour points.
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Block Without Reason
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What?
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This is where we block another user without a proper and detailed reason.
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Why?
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It's important that we are as accurate as possible with our block reasons. Do not ask admin to "read the chat", as this is not possible.
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Admin can only go off of what is in that block box! Make sure to use it appropriately.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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No.
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Disregard Boundaries of Others
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What?
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This is where we continuously override the boundaries of another user, including stalking or harassing them.
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Why?
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Boundaries are put in place to protect ourselves from discomfort. These should be respected by everyone.
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Not only are stalking and harassment illegal, it is also very invasive of privacy and can lead people to feel unsafe.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 3 behaviour points.
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Flirt with Others
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What?
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This is where we infer sexual innuendo with another user, be it seriously or playfully.
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Why?
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7 Cups is a mental health support platform, not a place for forming romantic relationships.
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Not only is it not appropriate for the site, it does not align with our values, and can be exceptionally uncomfortable for others.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 3 behaviour points.
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Gossip with Others
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What?
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This is where we discuss rumours or information that we have heard, that has no evidence, and is based on hearsay.
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Why?
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Spreading mis- or dis-information can be harmful to the site and the thousands of people who use it.
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Gossip can damage reputations, and can impact lives more than we know. Our community is not compatible with rumours or gossip.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. This will result in 3 behaviour points.
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Disrespect/Act Uncooperative with Safety Outreach
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What?
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This is where we refuse to change a profile violation, or are disrespectful towards SO users.
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Why?
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Everyone should always show respect and courteousness to others.
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Safety Outreach users are trained to offer constructive guidance on how to rectify a profile violation. Just like the LCT, they want to help you -- they are not there to attack you (or be attacked).
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Behavioural Consequences?
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TBD.
No No’s for ATLs
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Connect Offsite with Teens
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What?
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This is where we connect to teens (13-17) on ANY SITE that is not 7 Cups. The ONLY exception is in a GOOGLE GROUP FACILITATED BY ADMIN.
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Why?
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… why do you want to contact teens offsite? Seriously, if you have to ask this question, you may not be the best fit for the role.
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Teens are often vulnerable. You are the adult, and you have a special privilege to be able to talk to teens. Please do not abuse it.
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Behavioural Consequences?
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Yes. A million times, yes. Any ATL caught engaging in offsite contact will receive 5 behaviour points. All leadership roles and ATL access will be immediately revoked.
Hopefully, these pointers detail and explain common things that users do that result in behaviour consequences, and why we shouldn't do them!
