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How can I stop thinking about opinions of people which cause anxiety?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 09/14/2021 at 6:57pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC

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Sometime situations and feelings can be so strong that we struggle to function. You are not alone! My practice is flexible and open-minded and tailored to your personal needs.

Top Rated Answers
January 28th, 2015 8:53pm
The easiest way to go about this is to realize that we define who we are, we are the ones in control. We should not let the opinions of others shape us. We control ourselves, and its okay to be our own person.
February 18th, 2015 2:02pm
It's all about self esteem. When you work on that, you'll understand that the only way to be happy is to be independent and to listen to your instincts, and do what sounds right to you. Sure you can ask for opinions, it's even important that you do ! Because you might find truth in some of them, when they are constructive and honest... But don't give every opinion too much importance. Many opinions are often subjective and biased. Just trust yourself, above everything else.
March 26th, 2018 9:31pm
You cannot ignore other people but you do not have to dwell on other people opinions. Everyone has the right to their opinions that does not mean they are correct.
April 24th, 2015 10:44am
Build up your self esteem. When you feel good, you don't care when people put you down. Easy for you to say, you may think. But YOU have to live with YOU the rest of your life, and why live with someone who constantly cares what others think?
May 21st, 2015 7:25pm
People never really accurately know what another person thinks and feels about them. People have their weaknesses
August 16th, 2015 1:05pm
You have to learn not to care what people think about you, some of them are jealous of you, so they might be trying to bring you down by their thoughts
September 22nd, 2015 2:20am
Realize that opinions are just that. Opinions are also known as perspective. Perspectives can be right or wrong. You need to decide if what they have to say is constructive.
November 24th, 2015 12:26am
You may stop by realizing it's you who thinks those thoughts about others' opinions. Mindfulness & Contemplation work for me to cultivate stillness and let go of anxiety. Have you tried that?
January 12th, 2016 5:40pm
Who you give priority to depends how you react to others words and acts.everyone does not care or love the way your close one does. Your family or parents only wishes tire welfare. The one who loves you the most on this earth is you yourself only. So what youthink and theperson who lives you, cards for you say that matters only. So it's just better to think this wa. people don't control your life. Neither their words control yourlife. So let go of those words coz you have to move on.
February 22nd, 2016 11:17am
Just think about your own opinion, because your own opinion is what matters. You can ask other people for their opinions but in the end its your choice whether you'll listen to their opinion or not, some may cause you to think a lot about their opinion because it may be a negative opinion about you, just expect what others may suggest to you because anxiety will always occur unless you expect things on a different view like being optimistic.
August 8th, 2016 7:45pm
That's a really hard thing to do, but since you're asking, I'd bet you're strong enough to do it. You just have to realize that the only opinion that matters is yours. Any time I would get upset about someone else's opinion, my therapist would ask me, "Prove their opinion makes a difference in your life." I never could do it. Well, he's my dad. "So what?" So he's really important to me. "So what?" So his opinion should matter. "Says who?" Says....I don't know who says. "So, does his opinion matter?" Well.....Since I can't prove it DOES matter, I guess not.
May 2nd, 2017 7:34pm
You can try doing some reality checks if you're worrying about what other think of you. Ask yourself questions like: is that actually what they think of me? am I sure I'm not making it worse than it is? is there any evidence to support how I feel? evidence to contradict it? even if it is the worst case scenario, can I make it through? By grounding your thoughts and worries, it can make it easier to handle and to get past.
July 23rd, 2018 9:44pm
Those need to be replaced with good thoughts or motivation to have the good views which helps a lot.
March 26th, 2019 9:41pm
This for sure takes time and practice but it will get easier the more you grow as a person. Try to love yourself as much as possible, you will gain more and more confidence each day. The more confident you get, you will care less and less about the opinions of other people. After all you need to try to remember that only the opinions of the people close to you should matter, so try not to think too much about opinions of people who don't matter that much. Just try to build your confidence and forget about people who don't care for you and you will be fine.
May 19th, 2020 1:29am
You may not be able to do that successfully. However, to effectively modify that behavior, I would think of why you need to worry more about your own opinion of yourself. YOU are the one who has to live with the consequences of what you do, not your opinionated acquaintances. YOU must be the one to feel sad or upset with how you choose to be. So be happiest self, not beause someone told you to, or because you think it might make them like you more, but because you are getting comfortable with loving the real you and because opinions are not going to pay the bills, so who cares what those opinions are going to do with your life at the moment you need encouragment and not discouragement?
February 22nd, 2021 12:23pm
Most people care about what other people think of them. You are not alone. Try to figure out what is important to you and how you feel about whatever it is that you were talking about. Don’t be closed minded. Understand that there is no right or wrong opinions and try to understand the other persons opinion. Maybe whatever this person is saying will change your mind about whatever you’re talking about.Don’t try to make the other person wrong. Try to relax and have a dialogue that will possibly lead to new opinions for both of you. Try to relax your body and your mind as you come across opinions that are different from your own. Be as flexible as you can be
March 16th, 2021 3:56am
As someone who can relate to what you are going through this anxiety can be extremely stressful to face. It’s natural to persistently worry about how others see you. You know yourself better than anyone else. Think what makes yourself feel comfortable and the sensations you associate with feeling comfortable. Was there something you practiced before and with time you showed improvement? Reducing the feeling of anxiety can work in the same way. What about thinking of the things that make you feel anxious in terms of hierarchy? It can be public places, strangers, people you know or presentations. How often do you expose yourself to those situations? Please know you are not any less for feeling the way you do and it can be hard to challenge how you feel others perceive you especially of you do not know them well. You might want to ask yourself what information are you taking in that is indicating what they think of you. Is it their verbal or non-verbal communication directed towards you inducing your anxiety? Please communicate with one of our listeners on our site or a mentor if requiring an open-minded approach towards your thoughts and feelings. Self-help guides as well as mindfulness exercises are available on our site too for further support. What we see, think or feel is sometimes not as it seems. It’s ok to have doubts and want these doubts to be explored.
September 9th, 2021 8:56am
In order to stop thinking about what others are thinking of you, you should first try to understand what do you think of other people. I would recommend observing your own thoughts when you are thinking of someone. For myself, I always thought that others think bad of me no matter what, but once I started to see that I see people without expectations and generally I notice positive attributes more often than negative or annoying traits, I realized that my thoughts were only insecurities and I tried to rationalize them by giving them to other people's perception of me, which was usually untrue. Other answers suggested working on self-esteem and it will help you not care about others' opinions, but understanding how others think such as psychology and dynamics in groups will help calm your anxiety and help you destroy negative thoughts as you might realize where they come from.
September 14th, 2021 6:57pm
Remember that you are in charge of your own happiness. Do things that make you happy and feel good. Don't worry so much about how others see you or your life. Write out a list of what comments cause anxiety. Even certain events or people can trigger anxiety. Take a step back and pay attention to how close attention you pay to other people. A lot of times we think people are studying us, when in reality they are so consumed by their own life they are hardly noticing what is going on around them, let alone little details of people near them.