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What strategy is best when you want to break up but can't stand the idea that your partner will move on to another person.

17 Answers
Last Updated: 11/24/2020 at 4:01pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
May 31st, 2015 1:50pm
Dont break up with them till you are sure you are over them . If you dont like the idea of them with another person, you're obviously not over them.
June 6th, 2015 12:37am
This saying is very helpful: "Ex's are ex's for a reason". You shouldn't think about them in that way and believe me, I know it's difficult but when you live by this saying, it also means that you won't break up unless it is absolutely necessary and the relationship can't be saved because you will never get back together. It helps me to think about all the bad things that they did to me. "Why should I go back with someone that treated me so badly? I can do better than that!" - is what you should tell yourself. Set yourself goals; the way you want to be treated, the respect that you deserve and the love that you're meant to be given from a partner. The main cause for people going back into a toxic relationship is because they choose to remember all the good times and often forget all the bad. They want to believe that it will work and convince themselves that it will. This saying has truly helped me through all my break-ups. If you're ever sitting there thinking that the person you're with can be a better person because "they changed" after so long of being with them, don't think like that. People don't change; they show you what they want you to see and once you're hooked, they show you their true selves because they know you don't want to leave them, because you don't want to be alone. I wish you the best of luck.
February 25th, 2015 8:01am
The best strategy is to not break- up at all. Why split if you can't stand seeing them with someone else? Don't walk away still holding on because it will only damage both parties more than necessary.
February 27th, 2017 12:10am
This was one of the hardest things I had to face before I broke up with my boyfriend at the time. First and foremost I had to look into myself and my self worth. I have to respect myself and believe that I deserved better. You can't avoid that your partner may move on to another person, but if you had any affect or significance in this relationship then he would make the effort to treat you better. Or else, move on. Break ups aren't always a bad thing. Sometimes it's a wake up call for your partner to realize what they've lost and work on it, or you will find someone much better who can treat you the way you want to be treated. Either way, just be aware it's still a win-win situation.
April 21st, 2015 8:14am
Well in this case you should firstly remind yourself that it is inevitable. And also keep in mind the reason why you broke up in the first place, its because things weren't working out and you weren't happy in the relationship. We all deserve the best and if this person wasn't right for you then you will find the right person. And a similar thing applies to your partner too. They too deserve the best. So both of you moving on to another person is something that is bound to happen. It may take time depending on the person but eventually you will find happiness with the right person. And so will your partner whom you broke up with. You just need to accept that. And instead focus on yourself rather than thinking about what your ex partner might be doing. It feels great to find happiness and satisfaction with what you want and like. :)
August 31st, 2015 11:55pm
Think on the reasons why you are no longer in the relationship. There will always be great memories in a relationship but remember that you can build bigger better memories with someone else.
September 7th, 2015 9:13pm
Well the first thing that you have think of is this: "What makes me so sure that I want to break up with my partner?" Remember that it is always best to be sure if it is already the time for you and your partner to go on separate ways because sooner or later, you and your partner will meet someone else once it is over. That is the inevitable truth and the only difference would be how soon you and your partner would find someone else. When you can't stand the idea that your partner will move on to another person would make you question the motive of even wanting to break up in the first place. "What is then the reason why I wanted to break up with my partner when I cannot even stand the idea of my partner moving on to another person?" You can ask that question on yourself first before you decide to break up or not.
September 18th, 2018 6:50pm
In my opinion if you want to break up, you shouldn't be thinking about what the person does. You probably still care about the person, but what they do without you should not be your concern. If you keep thinking about this, it will ruin you. (Experience) You can't force yourself to not care anymore, but try to tell yourself it may be for the best. The more you distance yourself you will soon enough not care anymore and it may be the right thing to do. I promise you can live without this person, because you are your own person. :)
February 23rd, 2015 9:46am
Well, tell yourself that you can move on to another person too! Go out, hang out, live like you never live before! :)
May 22nd, 2015 5:38pm
It's difficult because we don't know how soon we will move on or how soon they will move on. If you want to break up, keep in mind that you have the opportunity to move on to someone who just may be better than the person you were with. Let them move on. Your happiness is the most important.
February 1st, 2016 11:04pm
well, if you want to break up with the person, you must want to for a reason, so think of the reason and just remember why you want to break up with your parnter, if that reason is good enough to move on then so be it.
May 22nd, 2017 8:16am
You'll have to learn to accept it. Even if the thought hurts you, if you really don't want to be with the person then you need to lose this feelings.
April 29th, 2015 11:47am
You are human , he/she is human. If something doesn't feel right we change it. If the relationship doesn't feel right the person you are with isn't right for you. They are going to end up with their prince/princess in the end and you will too. You just got to wait for the right one. And who said you can't still be friends, best friends
October 18th, 2016 8:40am
Suggest an open relationship, so that you don't have to leave them. No commitment needed, no worries of them moving on :)
January 17th, 2017 11:17am
You need to put yourself in there shoes, it would be unfair to expect the person to be alone forever. Distance is hard but an important part of a break up in my experience. Distanced allows you to removed that person from your day to day thoughts and before you know it you have moved on and they have also.
March 20th, 2017 8:48am
Just know that there is always going to be another person, there are millions of people out there, just find the right one for you.
November 24th, 2020 4:01pm
It is true breaking up is hard to do but if you know for a fact that the relationship is not moving in the right direction then sometimes we are not meant to be with everyone we meet and or date some people come into our life for different reasons sometimes people teach us things and sometimes people just want to use us but we should always know when to hold out and know when to fold. Letting go of a dating relationship go will never be easy but moving on is so important to both parties and processing the break up. It helps realizing that you should just be friends is not as bad as you may think. It can free both of you to meet the greatest love of your life. Often times it is not a bad idea to see them move on to someone else and you move on to a new relationship. In my opinion the best strategy is have respect for each and be calm and be sensitive when ending the relationship and understand that departing the relationship opens up new doors and other chances to meet someone wonderful. Yes, in most cases you both will move on to other people but a healthy mindset and respect for each other will help you both to move on.