When will I be over my ex?
Last Updated: 12/07/2020 at 3:36am
Brittany Kelley, MSW, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
I am a psychodynamically trained clinical social worker. I find assisting women and families through difficult times an extremely rewarding and collaborative process.
Top Rated Answers
Some research has said it takes you half the amount of time you had been with that person to get over them; for example, if you were together for a year it may take you six months to get over them, but that's just an estimate. Personally, I am going through a really bad heart break myself, and we've been broken up now over a month and a half. It feels shitty now, trust me I know, but one lesson you learn in life is that heartbreak is unavoidable. It is best to just cry it out and let it pass; I'm so sorry if you are going through this, it really sucks : (
From what I learned, the best way to move forward is accepting the fact that the relationship is a thing of the past now and accept the reality. No matter how hard it might sound, it is the best way to deal with something that is so psychologically damaging that it can turn into a much worse physical manifestation. One way to move forward is to cherish the good memories that you had with the person one last time and wipe that slate clean. It's like a lesson that you learn in a class, once you have taken it down , it gets erased only so that you can learn something knew and gain a lot of insights in the process. Your intention was for the other person to be happy, you have got to realize, for a moment there you were there for the person and kept them happy, and now things changed and they are happy elsewhere, and that's all that matters. So, instead of clinging on to the inevitable, move on. There is perhaps another person in search of the happiness and comfort you provide and could also be in turn be the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.
It takes time for you to move on. This time will depend on you as well. Keep yourself busy. meet people and take care of yourself. Begin to take each day as a different goal for loving yourself. There may not ever be the chance to get over your ex completely. As for your own life make it what you want for your worth it and you can find new ways to find happiness. It is possible that once you have a new routine and can be able to get that this was not the best choice of the brelationship you deserve then allow yourself to grieve as well so that youay move on. Life is not going to be easy or the other things you find would not be so much better. This is a start on how much better you can do things and keep it as a lesson to be able to get to know yourself and by that I mean the pros and cons in the ended relationship. I would look at what you bcould change and then what you could not. Then remember to get this is your life and you deserve to be happy and healthy. The time will pass before you know it so make sure you sorry less as soon as you do what feels right then you can count your blessings. Think of your ex as a used toy. Then remember how you were taught to share things that you didn't have use for and let this be the best way to allow your ex to move along.
Time is usually the thing that heels wounds. When you have been involved with someone for a length of time and invested in them it is difficult in letting that person go. I can understand how hard it feels and the reminders you sometimes may have that brings back hurtful emotions. Have you spoken to anyone close to you about your ex? A good way of getting on the road of healing is voicing your feelings to someone that you trust and facing those emotions. Many people write their emotions in a diary which helps them move on with their lives however with time, most things do heals. The best thing is to look at the relationship you had a take a positive experience that you have learnt from it.
It's different for everyone, based on circumstances. For me, I was over my ex relatively quickly. I was losing love for her, and so when we finally did break up, I didn't have trouble moving on. I think, it's important, however, for someone who has just broken up, to distract yourself as best as possible with hobbies, other friends or family etc and you will find that you'll heal a lot quicker than dwelling on your ex and trying to analyse what went wrong or how you could win them back. I think it would help to approach the mindset of - there is no way you're going to get them back - and look to the future and distract yourself with hobbies etc
In my experience it has been different for every breakup i´ve been through. Sometimes just a week and other times three months. You have to get used to a different routine and a different lifestyle and that can take some time. You will be over your ex when you can think about him or her without feeling emotional pain. Try to give the love that you feel for him or her to yourself. In my experience it has helped me to go out with my friends, pick up some new hobbies, setting new goals, mediation, exercise and focusing on doing the things I love. may you be free from internal and external suffering may you be happy may you be healthy may you live with ease love, katie
When we finally realise our self-worth and start loving ourselves, you will make the first big step in the journey. And then we tend to realise that some people appear in our life that we learn some important lessons which will be beneficial for us in the future. And hatred wont help. We also need to forgive ourselves and others in order to have peace. And it is a long journey. It might take days for some, months for some and years for some. But the important thing is that we progress. And it is not necessary that we stop loving the person afterall life would have been so easy if we were able to stop loving people when we wished for. You will be able to let that person leave and still be okay with it once you start loving people around you and live for yourself.
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