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Why is it so hard to stop loving the person that is not good for you?

32 Answers
Last Updated: 12/30/2019 at 3:19am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Gonzales, PsyD

Psychologist

Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!

Top Rated Answers
BookwormBeauty91
November 21st, 2014 5:38am
We all believe in love, and we all want to love and be loved in return. It is hard to stop loving a person who isn't good for you because you think that you can change them.
Anonymous
March 31st, 2015 5:18pm
They say never get too attached to something that’s not yours. We all love something that we can’t have, I mean sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you want it, it cannot always happen your way, you know? Even if you feel like it belongs to you and nobody else, or perhaps that you’ll be able to love it more than anyone else, if it’s not yours, it’s just not. You cannot own people all the time. You gotta let them be. if they’re meant to be with you, you’ll see that happen. It’s okay to want them. It’s okay to try. But not everything you love can be yours.
HappyHappyHappy
March 21st, 2015 11:54pm
It can be difficult to stop loving the person that is not good for you because sometimes they are all you know. It is sometimes difficult to look past this person into what the future could be, leaving you feeling stuck. You are never stuck.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2014 7:15pm
Because we are always hoping that maybe someday the person that we love might change. We wanted to be a part of that change. And we wanted to be the reason why he/she changed.
amiableAmy
June 23rd, 2015 6:39pm
There can be many reasons why we feel a strong emotional attachment to people who are harmful to us. It's possible that this person has manipulated you to foster a sense of dependence on them, it's one thing that abusers, both emotional & physical, are very good at. Because if they didn't seem like a completely wonderful person at least some of the time, no one would ever would put up with their harmful behavior.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2014 7:13pm
We try and see the good in people where it may not be. We try and think that they have the ability to change, that they won't always be the way they are. We do not want to let go the person we thought we were in love with.
Anonymous
September 7th, 2015 7:56pm
Loving gives us a pleasure. It's sometimes the ultimate tonic and sometimes the sweet poison. The experience that we feel when we are in love are not common in our usual boring life. These experiences provide us weird pleasure. So even if the person is not right for us we find it hard to stop loving them because we don't want that feeling to vanish, that feeling is what makes the life different at that time and if it disappeared it will leave a void. Most people are in love with the feeling of being in love.
Arac
September 21st, 2015 2:03pm
Because love is perhaps the most powerful and complex emotion a person can experience. It fills your body with all kinds of feel-good hormones and basically changes the way you think in a very profound way. You'll cling to the person that gave you that feeling no matter how they treat you or what they do... because you love them.
Anonymous
September 1st, 2015 2:33pm
It's hard to stopping loving someone that's not good for you because maybe you were with that person for so long that you became comfortable with them, you opened up to them and gave them everything you had. It's hard to just having feelings for someone so quickly.
viOlivia
November 21st, 2014 11:32pm
It's very easy to see someone as what they are not. In relationships, often the person you fall in love with can take on additional traits in your mind that aren't necessarily realistic.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2014 10:51pm
Because you are in love with them and you try to see the best in them no matter what because you love them.
KendallNichole
December 6th, 2014 4:24pm
It's pretty hard to tell your heart who to love and who not to love, honestly. I think that when it comes to love, it can be anybody, even the ones who aren't good for you.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2014 7:46pm
Love is always tough. You can't control what your heart holds. Secondly, it's hard to stop loving someone because we invest ourselves so much into them. We make time for them and we trust them and make them a part of our lives and letting all this go away, is not easy!
BattleScarsareBeautiful808
November 21st, 2017 2:33am
Because we think we can change them and that if you keep loving them that they will change. Simple as that...
fixyou
March 20th, 2015 7:40pm
Because deep down your heart you feel that you can change them by your love and you think that they need you
Randy1
April 10th, 2015 10:38pm
There is often a disconnect between what the heart wants and what the brain needs. At the core of this issue is fear of change. It is natural to fear a break up from even an unsavory person, as change is frightening to most people.
energizingPeace22
November 3rd, 2015 5:57pm
Because sometimes that person, even though they are not good for you, will make you feel good and tell you things you want to hear.
bubblyeater21
February 23rd, 2016 3:00pm
emotions are a very hard thing to stop, especially a strong emotion like love. maybe someone isnt good for you, but once you fall in love with them its very hard to just stop those feelings and the attachment which comes along with that love feeling.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2016 5:45am
Sometimes the only things you see about that person is good qualities which can hinder your capability in seeing the truth about them.
Asja
May 2nd, 2017 3:49pm
To stop loving the person that is not good for you is so hard because deep in your heart you feel that maybe, just maybe they can actually become the right person for you. And is always hard to stop loving someone whoever that person was for you.
BriNecole2014
December 17th, 2014 7:38am
It's hard because you build up emotional attachments to that person because in your head, you feel as if they're perfect but in reality they're not. They're what's poisoning your mind
animeislove
October 27th, 2015 2:07am
because you have created past experiences that have made you feel that way, you care about them and you find it hard to forget about them due to the strong feelings you still have for them.
DarthMindHealer95
November 10th, 2015 3:25pm
falls a bit on the side for grief, denial, a few stages of pain, and then we accept it.. it was only afterwards we see that person was not the ideal one for us, but in other times it happens, it doesn't hurt as much
Nova315
May 2nd, 2016 1:33am
It's hard to stop loving someone who isn't good for you because you want what you don't have. You're a good person so you go for what you aren't.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2016 6:44am
Sometimes letting go of the person you love is for the better. It's toxic and nothing good is going to go out of it. If the person doesn't change for you then they're not really worth it.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2019 3:19am
Loving is completely a hard thing. Easy to say, hard to do. This happens because you deeply love that person to the point that you never want that person go. It's going to be hard the fact that you want to continue loving the person despite of how things are falling. Things like this will get hard, Relationships aren't as easy as we think. Unless there's a change between the both of you! sometimes you need a little love for yourself! the world does not always revolve around us, around the person. If nothing has changed then it's better to end things. If you think there's something good will happen especially for the both of you then go for it. A person that loves you will stay and change for the better!
PaintsGrayscaleHearts
January 5th, 2015 3:51pm
It depends on how much you have spent your time with the person. It's not easy to move on from a long relationship. Thus, the person might have brought new experience in your life to feel this way.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2015 12:24am
I think it's because we convince ourselves that no one else will love us. That has to do with poor self esteem, which is a result of being in a relationship that is bad for us.
IsisWondeerland
June 3rd, 2015 5:21pm
Well, mostly beacuse its hard to leave the idea that this person is the right for us or that this person would change...
forestCAT
February 15th, 2016 12:43pm
Loving someone is a feeling. It's really hard to control feelings with the mind. The heart can say one thing, even though the mind is saying the opposite thing.