Is it normal for me to hold a grudge against my bully?
Last Updated: 12/28/2020 at 10:55pm
Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Sometime situations and feelings can be so strong that we struggle to function. You are not alone! My practice is flexible and open-minded and tailored to your personal needs.
Top Rated Answers
it is normal but it is not healthy. When you hold a grudge, it is like holding a rotten meat. It is only hurting yourself and the longer you hold it, the stinkier it becomes. So you need to learn to let go and move on. The bully didn't even know that you are holding a grudge against him, he wouldn't even remember about you or the past. So there is no point of holding a grudge. Instead, learn to forgive. I know it is hard and impossible but at least learn to forget. don't get obsessed by it
Feeling anger and resentment is a totally normal reaction when we have dealt with being mistreated, humiliated or violated. However something as holding grudges might not be healthy and helpful to you in this context, as it might prevent you from letting go of that thing and focus on living in the present. If that is the case acknowledging your emotions, allowing yourself to feel them and then practicing forgiveness little by little could help. What is most important though is that you talk to someone about it and address the bullying to stop it in case it is still going on.
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