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How can I stop looking at myself negatively?

29 Answers
Last Updated: 01/29/2019 at 2:38am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD


I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
May 13th, 2015 6:42am
Our self-image is directly tied into the internal running dialogue we tell ourselves. If we have a negative thought pattern or internal dialogue about ourselves and our lives, we will in turn have a negative self-image. The best method to change this image is to start questioning our internal dialogue. When we think and feel negative things about ourselves, we should ask where these thoughts come from. Then we should challenge them by creating positive affirmations that replace these negative thoughts. Finally, we should begin to collect evidence to secure these affirmation in our mind. For example, if I think "I'm unlovable," my first job is to question why I think that. If I then answer back, "I feel like no one loves me and people always mistreat me," my new job is to create a positive dialogue to reverse this thought. My new thought becomes, "I must be loveable, because some people love me and try to treat me well." I now begin to think of people who have been kind to me, even in passing, to reaffirm this thought has truth. Rebuilding our self-image takes time. We will struggle with examples that reaffirm our negative thoughts and we will sometimes feel like we are lying to ourselves when we tell ourselves good things. However, over time, we can build a healthier self-image by building a healthier internal dialogue. Also, the more we focus on these positive thoughts, the more we will find examples to reaffirm them.
August 13th, 2018 5:27pm
Try writing 5 things you love about yourself every day in the morning, and 5 things you did really well that day before bed. Also listen closely to your self talk, it is more criticism than affirmation? What are your interactions with friends and love ones like? Do you play the dozens a lot? Snarky/ depricating humor is trendy but too much could actually start to build insecurity or hurt feelings. Maybe take a vacation from social media, before you take this break take a log of what you are veiwing. Are the images in your daily media reminding you of how great you are or how far you are currently from your personal goals?
February 14th, 2017 5:47pm
Work on finding inner peace and surrounding yourself with positivity and stop worrying about others opinions
November 13th, 2017 4:09pm
By having enough people tell me, or indicate that i am beautiful on the outside (and in), I'll start to see it myself. But it hoes goes ways, for example if i get a negative comment it'll make me feel worse than the inital comment said about me.
October 15th, 2018 11:31pm
Try to think about all your achievements, no matter how minor they seem. Try to engage yourself into something you enjoy doing, like reading, singing, dancing or anything. Don't be afraid of trying, just try to do something you really want to, even it seems crazy, maybe you will get your best experience out of it. Try to develop a sense of pride from something you are good at. Believe in yourself, ignore any criticizing comments and stay positive, prove to them that they are wrong. If you believe in yourself being valuable, then you are truly valuable.
January 29th, 2019 2:38am
Wanting to look at yourself positively is always the first step to success. You can ask other people what one thing they like about you is or what you are good at. Making and having a list of your strengths and positive atributes can be helpful if you feel negative in the future. It is also nice to have something to look back on. You can also feel better about yourself if you know you have done kind things like helping other people. One act of kindness everyday is a good start. Just take small steps at fist and gradually do more helpful things or more important things. Knowing that you are being helpful is always a good pick me up.
March 24th, 2015 4:54pm
stop looking for what you feel is negative. ask your friends or family to write down their favourite features about you then you read one every day okay?
April 14th, 2015 2:56pm
I personally think you first have to learn that there are things about yourself you will never be able to chance. You will just have to accept them. And you are doing your best by trying to accept yourself. Try it again and again.
April 24th, 2015 6:09pm
It's never easy when you're stuck looking at yourself in a negative way, sometimes you can hate yourself for the way you look or act or think. I've been through this, and I think it's important consider the possibility that the way in which you personally see yourself is vastly different from how others see you, and how you really are. As an artist I struggle with being my own worst critic, and it's a good metaphor for this situation to think about how in art when you're creating something, because you're so close to the piece you see every dimple, divot, and flaw in the piece, and it isn't until you step back and see the bigger picture that you can start to appreciate the work you've done. I keep myself motivated when making a piece by keeping my focus on doing exactly what I intend to do, and letting the thoughts about how I think a part of it looks or how much time it took to do just one thing pass through me, as I keep moving until I am finished. I think it's good practice in life too to keep focused on what you're doing with your life, shift the focus for awhile and you will notice that it gets harder to see yourself negatively, and the best part is it's never too late to start a positive cycle.
May 21st, 2015 8:24am
Find someone to mentor, and speak affirmations in the mirror. It's great to show yourself a little love by complimenting yourself. Always seems little odd, but the silliness makes it more fun anyways.
June 17th, 2015 10:40am
Any individual is stitched with talents as well as flaws but a better individual lets her talent dominate and tries improving the flaws very positively with constant encouragement
August 3rd, 2015 1:49am
What usually works for me is imagining that I'm someone else. I look at myself and talk to myself as if I were someone else, and that way I'm able to have compassion for myself and not automatically hate myself. I can also appreciate the good parts of myself, because it seems more like they're someone else's.
September 29th, 2015 8:48am
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. it sounds like a hard one, but your here today?! there is literally 1.4 trillion chance of you not being born in this world, but your here? you made it on to earth (obviously not your choice) but you are here, make something of yourself, BELIEVE in yourself, whatever you are facing, you can do it.
October 27th, 2015 11:46am
You should go back in past and look for your success, you probably lack of self confidence, so I highly highly recommend you to read this book : The Ultimate Secret Of Total self-confidence for Anthony Robert, It helped me way a lot. You can also read the rules of life for Richard Templer. :)
November 16th, 2015 6:40am
Start thinking positive about yourself. Before you leave your house everyday say at least 3 things that is positive about yourself.
November 16th, 2015 4:01pm
You just have to accept that you're an amazing person and smile more :) look for all the positives and focus on them; don't think that there aren't any either! You're a beautiful person who deserves only the best, you're not going to get the best until you realize that you deserve it however
November 23rd, 2015 2:50am
Post some positive quotes everywhere in your house telling you all the great things that you have accomplished and make sure you live up to those when you are down!
December 2nd, 2015 10:18pm
I have an idea. Ask all the people in your life to make a list of all the positive qualities they see in you. Because usually people around you see more in you than you do in yourself. Whenever you are feeling like you aren't worth it, read the list and think about how each person has influenced your life.
December 8th, 2015 6:04pm
It will be hard, you need to do little steps. Piece by piece. Trust me you are beautiful and worth it.
December 15th, 2015 2:25pm
We can stop looking at ourselves negatively by accepting yourselves for who we are and stop comparing ourselves to others. We can work on building up our self worth and being content with who we are regardless of the circumstances.
January 4th, 2016 1:23pm
Mindfulness and therapy has helped me over the years with negative thoughts about myself. Learning to slowly challenge the thought when it presents itself in my mind.
March 7th, 2016 5:32pm
By taking baby steps! Chances are you see yourself negatively because of things that have built up over the course of your whole life, so it will take a bit of time to dismantle this self-image. Keep looking after yourself and reminding yourself that you are important. You will get there!
April 5th, 2016 10:23am
It may seem impossible to find something about yourself that you like, so maybe whenever you think a negative comment about yourself counteract it with two things you like about yourself. Challenge yourself to give a decent answer and never repeat the same answer. Also remember to enjoy those small moments where you can see how beautiful or smart or talented or generous or whatever you are
April 11th, 2016 10:06am
don't judge yourself and don't look for a culprit. looking for someone to blame in a situation always ends up us blaming ourselves. obstacles happen mostly without being anyone's mistake.
July 26th, 2016 3:49am
Too stop looking at yourself negatively, you should try a simple exercise. Look in your mirror, and say out loud only positive things about yourself. For example, " I have pretty eyes, or I'm really good at art."
August 30th, 2016 6:06am
In order to stop looking yourself negatively, the first thing you need to do is to pursue your own interests. A balance between what you and others want is important. But what you're doing is just neglecting yourself. This is the biggest reason for all this. You're going through a weakened self esteem. Take a paper and a pen, then write 10 things which you feel are good in you and observe. :)
October 4th, 2016 6:37pm
First you have to love yourself . you have to see the beautiful or handsome person that you are how smart and gifted you are. That you have purpose on this earth and that you're special . there is no other person like you you're unique and that's something to be proud of love yourself you are so special
October 5th, 2016 4:36pm
First you have to accept that you're beautiful and that everyone has flaws. Everyone is different, that's what makes us, us
July 25th, 2017 5:34pm
We tend to focus on our flaws and bring ourselves down. Instead, you can focus on your qualities that you are proud of. You have to accept your flaws instead of despite them as they are what makes you, you. Once we start embracing ourselves then we can radiate that positivity to others too, showing and teaching them to love themselves as well.