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How can I open up to people more even if it scares me?

272 Answers
Last Updated: 12/29/2021 at 5:14pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jill Kapil, PsyD


I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.

Top Rated Answers
June 26th, 2016 7:26pm
It's often best to start off small finding someone you can trust, with a small topic that you want to tell them and go from there. I know it can be scary, however maybe by starting off small it will decrease your fear and how scared you are. I hope you find a way that works for you, this is how i learnt to open up to people.
June 30th, 2016 3:39am
Start with online talking to people (like on this site) and talking to friends and family! As you get more comfortable, you can slowly begin talking to more and more people.
September 8th, 2016 9:09am
Firstly get to know more about this person by asking a lot of questions about them and genuinely being curious to know the answers. And once u find that you share similarities in your ways of thinking or even if your opinions differ, you can start by justifying your opinions. Once you see the other person opening up, it becomes 10 times more easier for you to open up as well.
July 7th, 2016 8:31pm
I had hard times with that and what helped me was trying with a complete stranger I will never see again... (while traveling or in new places) then slowly sharing small peaces with people around me, sometimes telling them that this is something I am telling them in confidence (small things can grow over time)
June 9th, 2017 5:28am
Start with little things with the people you trust that show interest in you and your well-being. From there you can make yourself comfortable with that person and gradually increase the personal information you reveal to them. To practice though however, you could try opening up to a stranger on 7cups as most of the fear of rejection/embarrassment should be gone as listeners on here want to help you and are respectful of you.
May 7th, 2017 3:22am
Just try taking deep breaths beforehand. Run through the scenario in your mind, but don't get scared if the actual conversation goes different than you anticipated.
May 4th, 2018 10:31pm
The best way to get over a fear of something is to start building some positive experiences. Start with small steps and by opening up in small ways with people you already know are trustworthy (if this is possible), this will help you build some positive experiences and help to build your confidence level with doing this. Continue in the same way until you are comfortable with this level of vulnerability and then push yourself a little bit more. Eventually you'll begin to build enough positive feedback, that hopefully one or 2 setbacks, will be just that, and the positive experiences will outweigh the negative. As you build your confidence level and begin to trust others this will hopefully become an easier task for you.
May 11th, 2019 5:14pm
As a kid, I used to be so shy, I couldn’t even look at people. What helped me was taking it step by step, finding my own unique voice and humor, and then engaging with people around me that I felt comfortable with. Getting involved with theatre/sports helped back in high school, too. As an adult, I’d imagine just easing your way into it and being around people who love you as you are- to find people like this, you might want to consider spending more time in places with likeminded people. Who are you? What do you enjoy? I’ve found many connections I’ve made, were volunteering for various organization within my state. Many other connections were made with fellow artists who also share their works, and we connected over that. There are so many ways! Feel welcome to contact me, and we can brainstorm what suits your soul best. ♡ But if there’s ONE thing to take away from this: There is nothing wrong with being intimidated by being open- what is beautiful, is that you’re ready to be open, and that’s what will begin your journey in figuring out what that means to you. (: ♡ xo
August 16th, 2019 6:20pm
Remember you are always in control of what you say. You don't need to tell exactly everything while opening up. Start by telling a bit more than usually, and add every time some more bits of you. Controlled rational way. Most often the best. Just remember to always take one step further, but not too many steps at once!
July 1st, 2016 5:03pm
It's taking a small step at a time with a person you know is trustworthy - challenging that fear. You may want to communicate that it is difficult for you to say those things, so they can be more attentive to you and give you the space you need. Think about what you want to share beforehand. Try writing it out on paper. This can help you to take a little bit of the emotional weight out of it. It will always be a challenge to conquer your fear, but it is very rewarding because of that. So make sure to be proud of yourself for any step.
July 2nd, 2016 3:51am
First off do not let your guard down when you first meet or talk to this person. Also do not tell them anything about you that may lead them to you or give them any information that they can use to track you down. These two things alone can keep you safe and help you open up to people.
September 8th, 2016 8:32pm
Well I to an scared but you just have to try no one is going to force you but it's hard believe me I know but you can get through this
April 7th, 2018 5:19pm
Try and rememeber that these people genuinely care about you. Pick someone who you love and know you would never judge and make sure they're aware how difficult this is for you. Start with small things and build up to opening up about everything, give it time. It's not going to happen overnight and that's okay!
July 1st, 2016 7:44am
Believe that nothing is greater than you. You are the best.When you think so, you have nothing to be scared of.
July 2nd, 2016 11:33pm
Sharing with other people is the ultimate tool in bonding with them. Bonding is crucial in interacting with others as it highlights common ground and can make you feel less like you are unusual or strange. Opening up to others can seem daunting especially if you are shy or not confident but taking small steps is a useful approach. You don't even have to be friends with someone to form a bond; the irritation at having to wait too long at a bus stop with other people can be the catalyst for creating a bond as you will all be waiting together, and ultimately all experiencing the same thing. If you find it hard to open up, try to remember that others do too and try to recall the way you feel when someone unexpectedly opens up to you. It's likely you will feel special and that is a great way to make others feel the same.
July 7th, 2016 7:22am
You have the power to change things by being open and sharing things even if it scares you! I mean can try someone very trustful and close to you and little by say all your feelings. Keep in mind also that being completely open with everyone in every situation may be very inappropriate. You may want to be more open with your spouse or close friends, but not with your boss or people you don't know as well. You may choose not to be open with people you don't fully trust, because to be open is to share vulnerable information about yourself. And if you don't fully trust how someone else will use that information about you, you may choose not to share it. Also, some people may be very uncomfortable with too much openness and you may not want to be as open with them. Openness is making your outer world as similar to your inner world as possible. When you're feeling jealous, happy, anxious or sad why not share with other people what you're really feeling. We call this being congruent. That is letting what shows, your expression, frown, words represent what you actually feel and think. That takes hard work and a lot of honesty. (Again a reminder of caution about being open and sometimes being too open. In the name of being open we say everything we feel or think to others, but fail to be sensitive to others feelings about our openness. We may make them feel very uncomfortable or say something that hurts them. Being open also carries a responsibility with it and that is to be aware of others reactions to us and to respect their reactions.
July 10th, 2016 4:45am
Opening up to people can be hard, i've done it so many times and ive gotten hurt, but when i did it with other people, i got lasting friendships out of it. when you think someone deserves to hear about you tell them the small things. as you learn to trust them then move up to the bigger things. don't always give into opening up to the people who threaten to leave you if you don't because if you don't then them leaving you won't be nearly as painful
July 13th, 2016 12:43am
The best step is to take it slow and remember to breathe! Slow and focused breathing can help stabilize you in times of need.
July 15th, 2016 12:16pm
Opening up to people is an invite to others to get to know you, and it is also the only way u can receive anything from another person. When u want to open up and u begain to feel afraid of what horrible things could result of you opening up, try to counter that fear with what beautiful and resourceful relations or connections could result of your sharing yourself. Remember, opening up can be as little or as great as what's comfortable to you. Open :)
July 15th, 2016 7:04pm
Try to look for the best in people, instead of the worst. When you meet people, their actions, body language, tone of voice etc can help you determine whether they're someone that you should open to or not. Just be careful, most people are fairly decent and generally nice, but there are a few ones who are just plain mean.
July 16th, 2016 3:12am
I think it's important to take steps in the process. You can start slow, just opening up a little bit to the people that you love and trust, and eventually you'll get kinda used to it (even if it's still scary) just be careful about who you open up to and who you trust. Don't let that stop you, though. I know from personal experience that if you let fear rule your life, you will miss out on so many opportunities. Just go at your own pace. You'll have to push past your comfort zone a bit to get used to opening up, but remember not to force things on yourself. Take things at your pace.
July 16th, 2016 9:14am
In the end, it always makes your situation more simple to cope with as well as move forward. It will clear your mind and/or conscience.
July 16th, 2016 5:14pm
Find the people you trust and open up to them. It's gonna be okay because you will find people who are caring and who you will be able to trust with your life. It might take awhile but you will.
July 16th, 2016 7:38pm
The reason why it scares you is because you're scared of yourself, you are afraid of disappointements, disappointing them, disappoiting yourself, or being disappointed by them. The only way to get rid of this fear is to learn to know more about yourself, know your strentghs, yor weaknesses, and what you have to offer to the world, and I'm sure you have a lot to give, find it and you'll be proud to talk to others. :)
July 17th, 2016 5:37am
Start with little things and tell a few people. Then tell them bigger things. Also remember that people like to be trusted with things. I know it's weird but when someone tells me something secretive, it makes me feel really special.
July 17th, 2016 1:53pm
You can talk to somebody you trust, such as a friend, a teacher, a parent or guardian. Someone who you feel very comfortable with.
July 20th, 2016 4:49pm
People absolutely terrify me. Always have. There was a period of time where I'd spend hours every day curled up in a corner of my closet, because I knew nobody else would be in there. It's all about consistent baby steps, and feeling the fear but doing it anyway. It's ok to be afraid. But if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got.
July 20th, 2016 11:21pm
Opening up can be really scary, i think it really courageous of you to want to open up even though it scares you.
July 27th, 2016 8:53pm
Try with the minor things first. You favourite movie, food, shop, hobbies, etc The deserving person will help you feel much more at ease with time. You can do things you are shy of now like sing or dance infront of these people. Gradually you can open you feelings to them. If you have recognised them correctly, they'll be happy to see the beautiful person you are from inside.
July 31st, 2016 4:18pm
You could try talking to people on the internet, that way you could be almost completely anonymous and still open up to people! If you would like to talk to me you could message me and talk about anything you want ^-^