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How to over come painful Past memories?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 11/12/2018 at 3:09pm
How to over come painful Past memories?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment


Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
January 16th, 2015 9:56pm
Painful memories will always be just that because things hurt ! The past is the past ... If you try keep yourself in the moment your in now and give yourself the chance to make new good memories its a great place to start !
June 1st, 2015 2:18am
I personally think that over coming painful past memories is by taking advantage of it. Make the pain into a life lesson. Learn from the past memories and change the weakness to a strength.
April 14th, 2015 10:00am
Be gentle with yourself. Seek support. Seek treatment as needed. Let go as you are able. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to forgive. Give yourself the time you need. Treat yourself with compassion. Find someone you can trust with whom to share your burden. That's part of letting go. Repeat as necessary if the memories come back to haunt you. Keep moving forward. Sometimes, we work hard at letting go and then we have a break. Later on, we might do some more work because the memories bring up something else we need to work on. That doesn't mean that the work we did before was for nothing. In fact, it got us to where we are today. Keep moving forward and know that you are loved.
May 5th, 2015 9:51pm
In my experience, I just gave it time. I also went to therapy and that helped. Knowing that someone cares about you really helps the healing process.
June 30th, 2015 1:45pm
Take it day by day and process the pain you are going threw. This is not an easy task things like this takes time.
March 15th, 2016 8:33pm
no one will ever get over a painful memory but we learn how to deal with it and to put it to the back of our minds try and think of the happy parts of the past more than thinking of the painful part.
November 12th, 2018 3:09pm
Overcoming painful past memories are hard but moving on is always the thing to do. These can be achieved through forgiving your past, changing your ways and avoiding making such mistakes in the future. Tell yourself you can do it always. Change your lifestyle make yourself occupied and useful. Avoiding what will trigger such feeling should be inculcated. Another thing you can do is to redirect your feelings. Change them into something good and productive. Tell yourself you can do it, you are above that past, it was a mistake and you are ready to rectify it. One last thing is that you should never let your past define you.
January 16th, 2015 2:30pm
In ways, I may have over come my painful past memories, but I have learned to just go on. And let it play out itself.
September 15th, 2015 11:30am
You accept it. You accept it and let it hurt. It might be painful at the moment but eventually the pain subsides.
November 16th, 2015 12:43am
You need time to process what has happened. Everyone heals differently and at different times. Try to focus on positive things in your life
March 29th, 2016 11:46pm
The best way to overcome this is by realizing you are not your past self. You are the new and improved you and the past no longer has a latch on you
March 30th, 2016 4:04pm
The best way to overcome painful memories is to realize that you aren't the same person and also that things aren't the way they were before. Acknowledge your strengths and don't just focus on the memories. PTSD is a very real disorder and sometimes it takes years of counseling to help with them if they are giving you flashbacks.
September 19th, 2016 1:04pm
I try to learn from them, grieve those memories and learn to let my heart heal a little at a time. Sometimes painful memories are bad relationships that need patched up, or words written to loved ones long gone that you never got to say,but even writing a letter and getting those feelings out will help the healing process.
June 6th, 2017 4:40pm
Even the most painful of past memories do become less painful as time passes. I think the waiting period and not trying to force yourself to get over something too soon is essential. A wound doesn't go directly from bleeding to scarred: it scabs over first. So however long it takes for the scab to form in your memory, let it do so. You'll know it has the first time something reminds you of it and your immediate response isn't a pang of sadness, anger, pain, or regret.
March 5th, 2018 4:33pm
Try not to remember it by making sweet memories. For example, going on a picnic with your family or going on a trip.
September 11th, 2018 2:21pm
Try to think of something positive thats come out of it, even if its hard to think of one. There's always a silver lining, if we start to think of the good that comes out of pain then you won't have to think of it so much as a painful memory. If that doesn't work, you can always start by writing down your emotions towards this particular memory. Sometimes putting our thoughts into words can help us see that its not always so terrible. If its triggering for you to do so I'd recommend going to a therapist. Sometimes just talking through our thoughts can be a big help.