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Is it normal to be scared to get better from depression?

11 Answers
Last Updated: 06/22/2020 at 2:45pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
October 17th, 2016 9:54pm
To me the thought of not being depressed anymore felt like a loss of identitity. Like if a part of me would be removed permanently. Especially when I felt worthless the loss of even more identity was a price I didn't want to pay. I'd rather live with depression than without an identity. When I slowly started to recover from depression though I noticed, that the depression wasn't a part of my identity but it was hiding a big part of me. So with every day I fought against depression I became more myself.
September 11th, 2017 6:24pm
I can understand that fear. Sure you want to get better, but what happens after 'getting better'? You expect to do better in general now. Now is the time to tackle all the things depression had hold you back from. Or is it? Questions start to rise. Will I be able to do all that? Will it throw me back? Will people who know about my situation suddenly think I'm healthy? Completely healed? And know capable to live like 'normal' people? Will I lose my support? Will my doctors stop giving me my meds? These are all scary questions, at least to me. So yes, I think it can be normal to get scared of getting better. But we can't let that fear make us stop to try getting better. We can't look into the future, we don't know what will happen. Sometimes you take a step foward and then two back, and that's ok. As long as you keep going everything will be alright, maybe not now but eventually.
February 12th, 2019 11:00am
Yes, it's definitely normal! Sometimes, we've been stuck in the dark for such a long time that loneliness and emptiness became our comfort zone. Changing our minds to finally reject depression and turn to something more happy and positive could be frightening and uncomfortable, so denying treatment is the reaction a lot of people have (which is totally alright, don't worry!) Always remember to take it day by day and take care of yourself well along your journey
September 30th, 2017 2:21am
Absolutely. You're talking about a very different mental state, one that's hard to picture while you're depressed. And on top of that, I think there's a lot of fear of being declared "not sick enough" and losing support, especially fear of having that happened when the badness is being managed, but has not yet reduced. There's a a lot of reasons why it's common to feel fear.
April 18th, 2017 12:14am
Yes, it's completely normal. It's very difficult to move on and be happy again, because you've gotten so familiar with depression. Keep telling yourself that you're okay, you're perfectly normal, and happiness is a good thing. Message me if you need to talk!
September 15th, 2017 12:06am
Whilst going through my own depression I certainly went through this struggle. As I was depressed for so long that sadly my depressed state became comforting to me because of how familiar it was to me and as a result I became scared of getting better as it had been that long that I had forgotten what that felt like or how to react to feelings other than being depressed. As time passed though I slowly started to part with depression as I replaced it with a new happier part of myself.
February 6th, 2018 7:50pm
It is. When you're depressed you feel a lot. Getting better from it means that you'll feel "normal" and "okay" again, but not as much and as intense as you did before. As humans we like feeling emotions, so that turns out very scary.
April 21st, 2020 6:38pm
It is. I'm someone recovering from depression, trust me, many times i thought of giving up and wallowing in my self-pity instead of trying to heal myself. Depression is one of the most stubborn things you'll ever see and let's not lie, even though you have people to help you and support you, you're the one who needs to fight. Even though you have all the resources available, the decision to get better is a tough one to make, because it means you need to be ready to transform yourself. To transform into a whole new person who knew hell once because of which they'd be equipped to deal with it any time they face it again, you would have to put yourself through pain and that's not some ordinary pain there. Change isn't easy and people would rather let their old bad habits kill them than accept change because change for the better can sometimes mean death of your present self to become a better person. Even if it's for the better, change causes pain and a sense of loss, insecurity and grief. It is completely normal to be scared of getting better. I'm a work in progress, but I'm still scared of recovering. But I'll keep going despite the fear. I hope you will keep going too, despite your fear.
December 18th, 2017 2:54pm
Yes of course, depression affects our life style a lot, being scared of the change that comes with getting better is completely normal. The best thing to do is talk these changes through with a loved one or one of the listeners here!
June 22nd, 2020 2:45pm
After a while you can become 'familiar' with the feelings associated with depression - and while I haven't really come across any sort of Stockholm Syndrome in relation to depression or anxiety, I have got friends that have sometimes said they miss it, but they don't regret fighting through it and coming out the other side. It's almost like 'better the devil you know' on a good day. You deserve to be happy and personally speaking when I was encountering depression for a good few years I wasn't able to see the light at the end, and so it was uncertain, and the uncertainty added to my issues - perhaps this is the same, but don't be afraid - there's a bigger, brighter and stronger you at the end of all of this in a brave new world - you've got this! :D
January 6th, 2020 6:02pm
Of course. Many people with depression have lived with it for a long time, and recovery comes with a lot of change. Change is hard and scary. It's only normal to be apprehensive about the future and how things will be. It's comforting to know, though, that your life is changing for the better and the fact that you're scared means you are probably getting close to something big, some kind of positive change that is going to make a difference in your life. Keep pushing through the fear and you are going to come out the other side a stronger person.