Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

why do i always push people away and block them out?

25 Answers
Last Updated: 04/05/2021 at 11:16pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.

Top Rated Answers
August 16th, 2016 2:21am
I don't trust people. It's easier to keep to myself than open up to someone and be disappointed or hurt.
October 27th, 2015 4:29pm
out of fear of not being accepted, out of fear of being judged, out of fear of being misunderstood, out of fear of not being enough.
September 21st, 2015 1:20am
I always push out people because I am so afraid that I will love someone and then they will just throw me out like everyone else that I have ever loved has done
January 27th, 2015 9:34pm
Because sometimes people are afraid of letting other people see how they are deep inside. It's typically people who have been hurt a lot and are afraid of open up to others in the fear the will abuse their must vulnerable part against them.
October 31st, 2015 4:39pm
Good question! I'm sorry that you're going through this rough state, but I may have an answer for you. When people are sick, ignoring the methodology our bodies use to fight viruses, said bodies are also subject to an innate biological "coping" mechanism that affects our sociality. To frankly define it, our bodies quarantine us. The same can be said for when you're feeling sad. Though you may not have the flu, you body can experience similar stressors mimicking the flu. Because of that your body flips switches in your brain, encouraging that isolation. An additional thought is that people tend to seclude themselves and block others out on a more emotional, and individually preferential way. There's a difference between being situationally depressed (losing a job) and having a chronic depressive mood. Pushing others away can "feel" like the right choice because your emotional mind is telling you that you are not worthy of outside support, and accepting it would only be using others. So I'd chalk up your habits to either or (or possibly both) coping mechanisms: your biological mind trying to protect others and your emotional mind defining them as "too good" for you.
May 20th, 2015 3:26am
Letting people in can put you in a position of vulnerability. It's especially hard when people have let you down before. Some people are worth getting to know though. You can't trully connect with someone without letting them in.
August 9th, 2016 3:40pm
Most people push others away as a defense mechanism. It's easier to push others away than the be hurt or pushed away yourself. In the end it always hurts not only yourself but the people around you. I would advise that if it is a problem for you, you work on it consistently.
September 8th, 2015 3:19pm
Sometimes it's easier to push people away than let them in. If we feel like a burden to those people, or like we complicate things, we push them away. You might think you're sparing them pain or trouble, but all they want is to be in your life. By pushing them away you hurt them and yourself.
December 22nd, 2015 10:52am
Pushing people away and blocking them out is a common thing for people who have had trust issues or anxiety problems. I tend to do this a lot also. I have pushed my mom and my dad out of my life and made it seem like they never existed in my mind. Getting control of your trust issues by going back to where it started at can help by letting you let people in. But also anxiety plays a role. Anxiety makes you have a lot of "what ifs" run through your mind. So as soon as you start to let someone anxiety could take over and make you think what if they betray me or what if they leave me?
March 9th, 2017 7:17am
When you are struggling with something so deep, like depression, it can make being able to trust others and be vulnerable very difficult. By pushing people away and blocking them out you might be just trying to protect your bubble that you have. But some people, are worth letting in that bubble. It can be really hard, but once you find those people that you can allow in your inner circle, you find a new way to trust and better cope with what you are struggling with.
April 26th, 2015 9:45pm
I would say that you can't really ask anyone else about that. You may want to examine how your past was. question the traumatic events or hurtful things you experienced? what were your parents like?
January 12th, 2016 11:21pm
It's a self defense mechanism which you probably heard of. When other's behavior becomes confusing, hurting or unpredictable, pushing people away is the best way to take control. However in most cases, that is not the best solution. We are pack animals and eventually we'll need other people in our life. Pushing people away won't give us the chance to practice give and take and so when we do let people in, we might end up hurting them or getting hurt because lacking skills in communication.
April 5th, 2015 11:16pm
It could be a type of defense mechanism. I do that often, too. And it's how I deal with what's going on around me. I don't want to get hurt, so I push people away. It may have to do with family, too. Maybe you once have been hurt by someone that you care about and you don't want that to happen again.
August 4th, 2015 10:10pm
It can be hard for some people to socially accept others, one of the reasons can be social anxiety. If you feel uncomfortable with people a lot you should consult a professional and get to know more about your condition.
March 7th, 2017 4:12am
Sometimes, you may just push them away to try to keep them away from you. You never mean to, but you always try to help them as much as you can :)
February 15th, 2015 9:40pm
When some people feel alone and/or sad, sometimes they don't want to talk about that kind of think with others and it's normal so.
March 6th, 2017 2:40am
Well ask yourself have you every been hurt in the past? Maybe someone has broken your trust etc, I have the same, when I get close to someone I automatically push them away abit because I'm afraid the same will happen again. Or maybe if you prefer to establish a 100% trust foundation in the beginning.
May 1st, 2018 8:47pm
Because you value your independence. Some people insist on helping you but all you really need is some space. It'd easier to block them than having to explain your reasons.
August 1st, 2019 10:21pm
Sometimes we want to have some time on our own to analyze and validate our thoughts neutrally without other people interfering during the process, sometimes we are afraid to depend on other people emotionally, sometimes we are afraid of people leaving or hurting us that we choose to distance ourselves in order to ignore the pain and sometimes we are not able of forming healthy relationships with people and therefore we try to ignore our problems by fading away. There can be thousands of reasons why a person chooses to push people away. Ask yourself, do you relate to any of the reasons given above?
November 23rd, 2015 7:10pm
To answer this question you should do the opposite. Accept a few people as they are and get close to them and open yourself to them. Try this a couple of times and you'll know. :)
March 8th, 2016 6:32pm
Maybe fear.Fear of being hurt,fear of being abandoned,fear of trusting annther.There can be many different reasons.
November 28th, 2016 8:58am
Sometimes it is easier to block people out or push them away, than it is to accept help and care from those around you because the fear of being let down or abandoned can be present.
August 5th, 2019 5:40pm
Feeling as though we’re lacking in energy can be tough when we’re alone. We have to be careful when managing what little energy we have, so that we don’t completely exhaust ourselves. Having no energy when we’re around others can be even worse. People can tell us that they want to be around us until they’re blue in the face. But we won’t necessarily believe it. Depression makes us feel worthless and useless.We are aware that we aren’t ourselves, we feel gobbled up by depression and socialising can feel awkward. We might not be showering as much as we ordinarily would, we might not have run a brush through our hair in a while, and we may only really feel comfortable in our pyjamas. We’ve put the people we love on a pedestal and we often feel as though we’re not enough for them. We also understand how painful that can be for our loved ones
January 9th, 2020 6:22pm
I push people away because I fear being a disappointment to others. It is easier to distance myself from people than to be a burden to them with my problems. If I push people away than I can't disappoint anyone. Pushing people away is a defence mechanism for me to avoid having hard conversations with anyone due to the fear of being judged. The less people in my life the easier it is to pretend I don't have anything wrong with me because no cares enough about me to figure it or help me because I am scared that they will reject me because I am not normal or only acting this way to gain sympathy for others.
April 5th, 2021 11:16pm
I'm not always in a great mood and sometimes I don't have the energy to interact with people. By avoiding conversation, I feel like I am protecting others from negative interactions. It's not anything personal. I just need to preserve my energy. Sometimes that requires some alone time. Other times, I am feeling emotions that I do not want to address and don't feel like talking about them would really benefit me. It's not that I needed to be guided through what I am feeling, it's just that I feel like doing so would make me feel even more upset.