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Why can't I be myself?

26 Answers
Last Updated: 03/30/2020 at 6:52pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
November 15th, 2015 6:05am
Maybe you haven't accepted yourself yet. It's hard to develop the confidence to be who you really are, but the first step is to be happy with who you are. Maybe take the time to figure yourself out. What are your hobbies, what do you like to do? From there, you can develop your own happiness and understand yourself better.
November 10th, 2015 11:30pm
You can always be yourself. Sometimes we feel pressure from the media and our peers to change and be like everyone else. However, it is important we are ourselves. We each have strong characteristics and abilities to bring to the table. For example, I joined yearbook last year and did not know how I could contribute sense I am not very artistic but, I learned that I have other strengths. This year, I was named editor. I don't handle much of the actual design but I am able to use my strengths of organization and leading to run an efficient club. You can always be yourself. Remember, you are the best you.
September 7th, 2015 11:28am
First find out who is this "I" and who is this "myself". Once you find the answer to this question, you shall find answers to all your questions, including this one.
March 7th, 2015 7:13am
Every time i tried being myself someone was always there to criticize me. Everyone has their input when i try being myself. do this do that instead of doing what i like to do..e.g i like to keep boys pic as wallpaper and people keep bugging me about it. It's a tip of an iceberg
March 20th, 2015 2:57pm
Fear - it's a powerful thing. Plus, society places such tight restrictions on how we should act, what we wear, etc. that it's hard to be comfortable in our own skin! Surround yourself with people who love and appreciate you and work on dispelling your fear a little at a time.
April 2nd, 2015 9:20pm
What is holding you back? Fear of judgement? Lack of understanding from the people closest to you? Do you feel like you can't find people who are like you to hang out with? Only you can answer those questions. Once you know the answer to these questions you will also have a better idea what is holding you back and then you can find a way to move on and be "yourself".
April 25th, 2015 7:55am
This is probably because you are obsessed with other people's judgments and expectations. Although we are social creatures and to be able to live in societies we need to follow certain rules and norms, it never means that we are supposed to think and behave based on other individual's expectations.
July 27th, 2015 11:56pm
Being yourself is defined as being who you want to be. Sometimes, it takes us awhile to find ourselves and others not so long. As soon as you find yourself, you will find it easier to be you. Remember, don't change for anyone.
August 4th, 2015 11:08pm
You can be, but like me, you are probably afraid that people will don't like you, but is better to be yourself because you will attract people like you.
September 7th, 2015 11:32am
Hello :). You can't be yourself most likely because you are affraid that you'r own, true self won't be accepted as good as you think... or that you'r true self won't be accepted at all. You are affraid of being judged, sometimes it's really hard to go through that. Why? Only you know the answer to that question.. My best guess is you have experienced being neglected first hand, or saw alot of that happening in you'r surroundings. Loving and respecting yourself for who you truly are is the first step, gaining self confidence... There will ALWAYS be people who will not like you or not accept you, no tmatter what you do and how you act. Be ready for that, but there will also be people that will perfectly accept you. You might be surprissed :) :). I hope this helped! If needed feel free to contact me privately to talk more about the issue.... Best regards, Corvius
September 22nd, 2015 11:54am
Find out who are you, know-understand and accept yourself for who you are. Define yourself on your own terms and get to know yourself to build self worth and confidence eg: take a personality test. Find values that are true to you and stick to them be prepared for others values to clash with yours but consider that as you being unique and special. Try to not focus on the past and forgive yourself and others for past mistakes to make you happier and at peace. Don't compare yourself to others, find your strengths and what makes you unique and write them down everyday. Learn relaxation techniques such as mindfulness to calm down your social anxiety. Be honest and open with other people, we are all imperfect human beings-learning and growing, you will disarm people/argument if you admit to your flaws and own up to them or better yet laugh about them. Also STOP caring how other people perceive you-build your own talents and strengths and forget trying to people please. Surround yourself with positive, loving people who love you for WHO you are. Be your own best friend, express your individuality. Some days will be better than others but STAND TALL. Stand up for yourself, stand up for others as you know that bullying is unacceptable. Find your own true style and self and ROCK IT OUT!:) Because after all there is only ONE you in the WHOLE world, love who you are warts and all:)!
October 26th, 2015 4:37pm
There's many factors which people feel they aren't being themselves like the parents being a certain way or you aren't with your right crowd. Honestly, just take a chance and be youself the least of your worries should be getting judged that happens most of the time without us being able to handle it.
October 27th, 2015 3:18pm
The only person stopping you from being yourself is you. We are in charge of our own fate and it's down to us how we put ourselves across to the world. Don't let anyone make you feel afraid to be you because it shows more about them than it does about you. If someone wants you to be different then they aren't worth wasting your emotion on, they are envious of you so take it as a compliment. Surround yourself with people you love and people who love you and you will flourish.
November 2nd, 2015 9:04am
Some times people don't like who we are. So we change our personalities and looks. We try to be someone were not so that people like us.
November 3rd, 2015 12:12pm
Sometimes people have a fear of fully being themselves due to a fear of not being accepted for who the are
Anonymous - Expert in Family Stress
November 27th, 2015 12:14am
We live in a world where we are taught to conform, follow and submit. The world tries to change us, so it's a great thing to be an individual. Find your own sense of identity and have confidence in yourself.
March 24th, 2016 1:38pm
Sometimes, you feel like society is judging you for who you are, and therefore you become what the society want you to be, it's kinda hard to be yourself, but with some confidence and self belief you'll be able to be who you actually are. "you were born original, don't die a copy"
April 17th, 2016 1:50am
"You have to be odd to be #1 you know. Be yourself and be nobody else, just be who you are and you can shine and shine and you'll live your life." Be yourself and nobody else. You'll be happy that way if you just remember this rhyme.
April 19th, 2016 10:18am
Why can't you? Are you afraid to let them know who you really are? Afraid that they might reject the real 'you'. Why do you hide? Why do you wear a mask? Is it for them or is it for you? But are you happy? Or instead you feel awful and suffocated? Think about it. Why can't you be yourself?
May 31st, 2016 9:03pm
Who said you can't? That said sometimes for purposes of getting along with society we pretend to be better. Like wearing deodorant. You can't be yourself if your smell hurts others. To get along, you mask your smell. Does that make sense?
June 3rd, 2016 7:19am
It's hard to be oneself before the people who expect too much from you. Sometimes it doesn't work out good.
August 16th, 2016 12:19pm
I can't be myself because I had a bad past which triggers me not to keep moving forward as well as not to let it go. It hinders me on every move I decide, it makes me believe that I can't do anything because I am a failure.
September 27th, 2016 3:34am
peer pressure, seeing celebrities or people on social media...feeling the need to conform to standards set by others
November 28th, 2016 2:25am
I find people who feel they can't be themselves are afraid of the consequences of being themselves. For example, some fear parental disapproval or others may fear being targeted for the uniqueness. Anyone can be themselves, but it truly is more a matter of if they can live with being themselves despite the fears.
December 19th, 2017 3:37pm
When we become overwhelmed with emotions and stressors in our lives, it can feel like we lose ourselves. I can relate. We also feel like we can't be ourselves when we feel like we don't fit in. It is a very hard struggle to feel like we can't be ourselves. But I can assure you that you can be yourself. You are unique and people should get a chance to meet your true self.
March 30th, 2020 6:52pm
The concept of self is in itself volatile. I know that it sounds like a cliché but a person should be like a tree that bends in the wind or else he/she will break as soon as a strong wind hits it. As long as a person is comfortable with his / her life choices then he / she is being himself/ herself provided that he/she is not causing harm to other or him/her self. For a person to be his/her self make sure that u consider ur life choices carefully. So as long as you bring harming to no one do as you want just remember that sometimes you have to bend with the wind like the mighty tree you are inside. We all exist in an environment we have to adapt to. Survival has always depended on our ability to adapt to our environment no matter how harsh it is.