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Does everyone secretly despise LGBTs although many openly claim to accept and love it, including LGBT members and allies? Are there really people who see LGBT as of equal worth as heterosexuals?

269 Answers
Last Updated: 06/18/2020 at 8:34am
Does everyone secretly despise LGBTs although many openly claim to accept and love it, including LGBT members and allies? Are there really people who see LGBT as of equal worth as heterosexuals?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
May 19th, 2018 10:39am
Yes, there are people who consider everyone as equals. Sometimes they are just very difficult to find. Sadly what people say and what people believe is two different things. Don't give up hope. If you are struggling and would like additional support feel free to access our MOGII/LGBT chatrooms and there are many useful places to talk about this with others online.
May 19th, 2018 1:01pm
Of course there are, like there are people who are not racist or do mlt discriminate because of religion. In our society it seems that some people are forced to look accepting even if they truly aren't, but there are also many people who really don't mind about sexuality and I believe they are even increasing in number.
June 8th, 2018 8:54pm
No, there are many of us within the community that love ourselves and embrace who we are! We also have many straight allies that know that LGBT rights are human rights. Pride Month is a great time to find events in your area to attend and find support for LGBT people.
June 9th, 2018 8:54am
Many people accept LGBTs just the way they are and support them, but there will always be people who don’t agree with this. It doesn’t mean everyone is againts it. LGBTs are loved❤️
June 13th, 2018 1:24am
Although I do feel there are some people out there that do claim to be allies to the LGBTQ+ community out of a sense of being obliged to be politically correct, there really can be people who fully support and see members of the LGBTQ+ as equals. I have been lucky enough to meet people such as the latter.
June 20th, 2018 10:22pm
I definitely know there are people who see LGBT as equals! I believe its kind of on a sliding scale- some who support LGBT amazingly and do a lot of work with charities etc, who don't bat an eyelid when someone comes out, there will be some people who say they support but may quietly judge or make assumptions- and this goes all the way through to openly homophobic people. So yes, there may be some people who "secretly despise LGBTs although many openly claim to accept and love it" (despise is a very strong word!!), however, a LOT of people, from personal experience, don't think twice.
June 21st, 2018 3:00am
Yes, LGBTQ+ is just part of one's personality. Heterosexuals are no different than LGBTQs. I see them as equal.
June 21st, 2018 3:40pm
Nope, I openly support it even though I'm straight. I see them as equals and some of them are the nicest bunch of people I'll ever meet. I love them and I want to protect them as much as I can.
June 24th, 2018 1:10pm
Yes. There are. It is true that homophobia/ transphobia or hatred towards the community exists but fortunately enough, there are real people who genuinely accept and see these relationships in the same light as any other relationship. We have come a long way and have much longer way to go, but the progress we have made is extraordinary. LGBTQ relationships are just as valid as any other.
June 27th, 2018 2:23am
Everyone is equal to each other. People are still people, no matter their past, race, gender, or sexuality. Your personality and your actions is what defines you as a person, not who you love. If you're gay, then you're gay and that's okay. If you're straight, then you're straight and that's okay too. As long as you do your best to avoid putting someone else down or in pain, then you're still equal to everyone else on this planet.
June 27th, 2018 3:02pm
Yes, there are people who see LGBT as of equal worth as heterosexual. There are people that truly understand and treat the LGBT with the same respect as a regular person. I'm sorry you haven't come across them, but they exist.
June 28th, 2018 5:48pm
its a question of perception, for example i try really hard to accept homosexuality and for that i have to understand their way of life and love.. i, along with most others grew up in a way where love had a standard defination. so yea to be frank i find it hard to understand.. hard as in am not against LGBT but its more like the difference between the words sympathy and empathy. i can say i understand what you are going through, i can try hard to make you feel better but its difficult for me to view the world in your shoes. That hopefully doesnt make us bad men.
June 29th, 2018 6:30am
Although sometimes it doesn't seem like it, many people in and out of the LGBTQ+ community can put themselves in other's shoes and show empathy towards the path life put them in. Someone maybe won't understand when they've never gone through that specific situation, but sometimes some clarification helps them have some empathy. Acceptance to the LGBTQ+ community is very real.
June 30th, 2018 10:48am
It sounds like you're worried you or a person close to you will always be deemed less valuable by society as a whole for identifying with the LGBT community. While I can not answer for everyone, rest assured there are indeed people who see LGBT as equal. Every person contributes to the world's diversity and vibrance in a way no one else can. You may think of it like creating art. Imagine the world were your canvas, and the choices you make in life are your art supplies. Some paint with watercolors, other people prefer crayons. While you have your personal tastes that feel right for you, another person could take an entirely different approach to theirs. Of course not every piece of art connects with every human being. Sometimes art is misunderstood. Sometimes it's provoking. So how do you put value to it? If a particular person admires Leonardo da Vinci, yet turns up their nose at Vincent van Gogh, you probably wouldn't say van Gogh failed as a painter. If you're the only Frida Kahlo fan in an exhibition dedicated to Leonora Carrington, there's a real chance you feel out of place - but it still doesn't mean only one of these two women can rightfully be called an artist. Are pictures carved in beach sand worth less just because they will be washed out with the tide? Is a toddler's first sharpie scribble titled 'My Family' worth less to the proud parent just because mom or dad know to draw more realistic humans? Is a white crayon truly useless just because the majority chooses to doodle on white paper? Same goes with human beings. Many feel attracted to people of the opposite gender. Some feel attracted to the same gender, or more than one, or even none at all. Each preference is equally valid. But that doesn't mean your worries are not. Unfortunately people who despise LGBT do exist. They struggle to understand why someone deviates from the "right" way, because they assume what feels right for them has to be the same for everyone else too. Maybe they grew up in an environment where "That's soo gay!" was used interchangably with "I don't like that". Maybe they were told their religion only allows heterosexuality. Then they developed heterosexual desires and never questioned what they were taught. Or they involuntarily found someone of the same sex attractive, and then their fear they might turn into one of "those" people makes them cling to the heterosexual norm even tighter. Sometimes such people are going to change their mind about LGBT people eventually when they start to see the human behind what they perceive as a disorder. Others never will. The world is a complicated place after all. But it would be a lot duller if there only was one single correct way to enjoy life.
June 30th, 2018 6:27pm
No, they don’t. Some people are homophobic even if they’re not blatantly obvious about it, but there are also people who think that people are not defined by who they love, and that consenting adults in a happy relationship and in love is a beautiful thing, regardless of the gender or sexuality of the people involved. People are worth much more than their relationship to others.
July 1st, 2018 9:28am
I Don't think you can despite lgbt if you are not homophobic. There is no reason to hate them, they are people like everyone else. I don't understand why anyone would hate them.
July 5th, 2018 8:32pm
Including myself, I know many people who are open to being friends with LGBT members! No one secretly despises them, and if they do, they need to learn how to treat people equally.
July 7th, 2018 4:34am
Everybody can have different opinions on things. Or different ways to approach topics. Not everyone is the same with how they feel about love. Some people believe in equality and others may not. It all depends on how one was raised or experienced.
July 18th, 2018 11:15am
Yes,I myself do even though I am part of the lgbtq community and I think everyone should think of us as equal worth as straight people
July 25th, 2018 12:32am
I think LGBT+ people are of equal worth as heterosexuals, because they are also people, and all people are of equal worth.
July 25th, 2018 4:50am
This is a loaded question that probably requires some unpacking. The simple answer, which many people have already gracefully given, is that there are absolutely people who are completely comfortable and happy living within or alongside the LGBT+ community! The reasons you might be concerned that no one is REALLY okay with any non-hetero orientation—if this is something you're concerned about, and you wouldn't be alone—are a few: One, there is a small but very loud minority that is currently making things very difficult for LGBT+ people in our world. That kind of vitriol is hard to ignore. Two, there is a general blanket of heteronormativity that we're still trying to shake, where in any places straight is the default and everything else is "other," which can be very isolating. And third, as a result of both of these things, a lot of LGBT+ people (and even generally open-minded straight people) experience internalized homophobia—an internal fear, whether it's conscious or subconscious, that being gay IS bad or says something bad about a person. That someone who identifies as LGBT+ has somehow strayed from the default. This is especially hard for LGBT+ people who may have grown up in a more conservative community, or realized their orientation later in life. Those circumstances can complicate their feelings and relationship to their personal identity and leave some issues to work through. So it is true that the road is not smooth for everyone, and that discomfort and fear are unavoidable for many, but I can tell you, with absolute surety, that there ARE people who harbor no malice towards the LGBT+ community—not even secretly. I'm lucky to know many people who are comfortable in themselves and their communities who inspire me regularly, and who give me hope that one day no one will have to worry about this question.
July 25th, 2018 8:11am
Yes, there are indeed some heterosexuals out there who see homosexuals just as they see everyone else. Some who say they support the lifestyle aren't true supporters. Some think they understand far more than they actually do. Everyone does not hate LGBT's. Although, I completely understand why you'd think that.
July 25th, 2018 5:23pm
I am a part of the LGBTQ+ community and I see hate everyday on us, however, you cannot fight hate with hate. We conquer it with acceptance and love, no matter what sexual orientation they are :)
July 27th, 2018 5:12am
Not everyone secretly despises members of the LGBT+ community. Most people who consider themselves part of the community, or are an ally, truly do love and accept it. People do see members of the community as equal worth as heterosexuals. We're all humans, we all have things that make us who we are. Are sexuality is just one piece of the puzzle that makes up a person. Even if people have different pieces, the puzzle still ends up making a person when complete. Whether heterosexual and/or cisgender, or a member of the LGBT+ community, everyone is of equal worth. Sexuality and gender are no judgement of worth.
August 1st, 2018 2:39am
I love my friends of the LGBTQ+ community! I've completed SafeZone trainings and I recognized that I'm a member of the community, not only as an Ally, but also as a pansexual individual. Sometimes you may live in a space where your family or surrounding community is less accepting, but there are people who will love and accept you for you!
August 8th, 2018 3:33pm
I can’t answer for everyone else in this matter, but I can answer for myself. As an LGBTQ+ person myself, I love my community and my LGBTQ+ brothers, sisters, and siblings. In my mind everyone has inherent worth and value and that is not taken away by having a sexuality, romantic attraction, or gender that varies from a cisgender and heterosexual normative. I don’t despise anyone for who they are. It can be tough to come to terms with ones own identity. However, that is different from viewing an entire body of people as lesser for something out of their control.
September 12th, 2018 7:38am
Hey guys, it's your friendly neighborhood lesbian here coming to you to say that yes, the gays are of equal worth as the straights. I've met a lot of people throughout my life, but the nicest, most caring people I've ever met have been a part of the LGBT+ community. I'm not saying that I've not met nice heteros, because I have, I'm just saying that people in the community are good people. But when it comes down to it, that's all they are- people- they're the same as anyone else. They are worth as much as anyone else. They are just as important as anyone else. The only difference is who they love or how they identify themselves.
September 21st, 2018 3:20am
Yes, of course. My sexuality is questioning at the moment but right now I do identify as straight. And yes, I am living, breathing proof that there is straight allies who don’t despise LGBTQ+ members. I love them. I think that it doesn’t matter who you decide to love and that it should be normal by now. And I don’t think there are that many people who secretly despise LGBTQ+ members. At least none that I know of. If you have any questions about anything, please contact me or any other listener on 7 Cups. I’d love to clear things up.
October 5th, 2018 4:12am
Absolutely there are! There is nothing wrong or lesser than aobut LGBTQ+ people and relationships. Many people, believe in complete equality. There are so many amazing straight cisgender allies out there. There's nothing wrong with being gay at all. Not all of society has caught up yet, but a lot of it has. More progress is being made daily. Don't be afraid to be yourself because some people are still behind. We are we on our way to equality. Don't let anyone tell you there is something wrong with you when there isn't.
October 5th, 2018 9:51am
Many, many people definitely see LGBT people as being of equal worth to heterosexuals! I say this as an LGBT person and as someone who has mostly heterosexual friends! In all honesty, I would not change who I am even if it were possible. I love being LGBT! Of course, there are also some bigoted people out there who are homophobic and transphobic, but I like to think that there are less and less of them as time goes by, and in many places, they are a minority. So no, it's not true that everyone secretly despises LGBT people :)