I'm love with my best friend, but she's straight. What do I do?

140 Answers
Last Updated: 10/25/2019 at 11:36pm
I'm love with my best friend, but she's straight. What do I do?
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Top Rated Answers
December 15th, 2017 7:41pm
Ask yourself if being in a relationship with her would be something that would benefit you or if it would be better to have her as your best friend. Sometimes, we can feel like we are falling in love with someone we are really close to, but when we actually think about how it might work out, it's not as fun. So it's important to think about where you want your friendship with her to go. Weigh out the pros and cons, and make sure to keep reality in check.
February 10th, 2018 8:41pm
All you can do- be a good friend and respect his/her sexuality. Let them know that no matter what you will still be there friend, and that the feelings you are having are not meant to harm your relationship.
February 11th, 2018 11:36pm
Having had personal experience on this matter, I suggest you accept the fact and move on. If you're certain they're straight ,and not bisexual/pansexual etc. , then there is no point in confessing, since it might distance them.
April 13th, 2018 10:58pm
In my experience, it is best to talk to the friend about this. While this is unlikely to end in a relationship, it will help you gain closure, and might also help you feel more secure within that friendship, as you are putting trust in the person.
May 4th, 2018 7:58am
First try talking to her indirectly about your problem like telling her you have a friend who is love with her best friend but she's straight and ask her if she was that straight friend how would she react and if says she wouldn't over react and try to understand then tell her that you are the one who is in love with her.
May 16th, 2018 5:01pm
you can gently let her know how you feel about her , who knows maybe shell feel the same way.
May 17th, 2018 10:49pm
You love your best friend but they do not date same gender. Almost everyone has this problem once in a while. Short and simple, tell them. You are their best friend and they should understand you. Best friends are always there for you.
May 30th, 2018 12:05am
If you are certain she’s straight, I recommend you try to find a way to get over your crush. Talk to somebody, try not to stalk their social media too much etc.
May 30th, 2018 8:40pm
Have you talked about it with her? Think about if you should talk about it with her if you haven't already. Sometimes you just gotta move on. Take care!
June 2nd, 2018 12:04pm
If I was you, I would try and tell them in a calm way and explain why you have feelings for them. If they have the same sexuality as you, then you might end up together, however, if she does not, she may never return the feelings towards you. This can be very hard to deal with. But that is okay! There is someone out there for everyone! I would recommend getting it off your chest and confessing to her.
June 9th, 2018 9:46am
Tell her. It might eat you up inside if you don’t. If she is your best friend, she should be supportive and caring and then you can talk about it together.
June 24th, 2018 12:25pm
Unfortunately, you may have to take steps to get over her. If she is straight then there is most likely no chance you two will be anything more than friends. So, I would try to emotionally move on.
June 29th, 2018 9:55pm
Well, I was actually in a similar situation a while ago. My best friend was straight as a stick and I was in love with her. So I took forever to get up the courage to write her a note (cause I’m a scaredy cat) that told her how I feel. She actually responded in a way that surprised me, I accidentally turned my best friend into my girlfriend by making her bi. Oooops. Sorry not sorry.
June 30th, 2018 6:52pm
If you are up to it, tell her about it. A best friend will listen to your concerns and will work this out with you. Even if she doesn´t return your feelings, she still likes you for being you.
July 5th, 2018 3:22am
Unfortunately, you will most likely have to try and get over your feelings. I know that sounds hard, but you can't force someone into a sexuality they don't identify with.
July 5th, 2018 9:20am
i am sure its very frustrating for you to realize that she is have different sexual orientation, but you need to realize we cannot change anyone's sexual orientation. she is already your best friend. it means you share a great bond,you can keep this bond the way it is! forcing her for anything can make your friendship bad.you can respect the fact that she has different sexual orientation and find someone who is having same sexual orientation. this world is full of so many good people. i am sure you can find one. Best of luck!
July 6th, 2018 5:06am
She is your best friend, like you said. So obviously she understands you. And this is why you should talk to her. She will understand and this will help you get over her as well. And maybe it works out, if you're lucky enough. :)
July 6th, 2018 7:03pm
I think you should talk to her privately and tell her your feelings. Be honest and kind. If she really is your best friend, she'll be kind to you even if she doesn't romantically love you back. If she treats you badly and severes your friendship, then she wasn't there for you in the first place. Love really is an important aspect of life and you should be open about it to those you love. If you need to talk about it, we listeners are always here for you! Take Care!Hugs!
July 19th, 2018 10:36pm
You can't help how you feel but ultimately the relationship will not materialise. Take up a new hobby and find something you love to take your mind off things!
July 21st, 2018 9:37pm
I'd be honest with your friend on how you feel for them. You shared they are your "best" friend. So I'm guessing they might understand you. Also be open to their feedback on you sharing with them on how you feel. Good luck!
July 25th, 2018 4:58am
I totally understand how you feel. Have you came out to her yet? If you don’t feel comfortable with telling her that you like her, it’s good to drop subtle hints.
July 26th, 2018 12:25am
I don’t want to give you advice because I don’t want you to do the wrong thing, but personally I would talk to her and see how she feels. Some people stay closeted regardless of who around them is out, so you may not know if she’s bi or pan or just straight.
July 26th, 2018 6:13am
This is an unfortunate crush, but be honest to them about your feelings. It'll help you work through them.
July 27th, 2018 12:50am
Been there, done that. It's the absolute worst and you can't do anything about it. You can't force yourself to stop loving her nor can you force her to love you. The one thing that could possibly bring you a little peace of mind is telling her. Personally I never had the guts to do so, but sometimes I look back and wish I had, just for my own comfort.
August 2nd, 2018 3:55pm
From personal experience, you just have to accept the facts and stop putting yourself through the worst type of pain. It takes time to get over it. But you’ll find someone who wants reciprocated those feelings.
August 8th, 2018 8:48pm
You need to be honest with your feelings. Not letting your friend know may cause unnecessary awkwardness and leave you prone to read into most interactions too much. Opening that line of communication can also help you take your best friend's feelings into consideration, because regardless of whether or not the feelings are reciprocated, your best friend cares about you and your well being.
August 10th, 2018 10:17am
If you think you can talk to her about it, then tell her. Sometimes it's better to release everything and get it out in the open. Once you've talked about it, it can help you move on. & i know it's incredibly difficult and it could change anything. but you are brave, you can do this. don't ALLOW your friendship to falter, hold onto it. this doesn't have to change anything. i believe in you, you can do it.
August 17th, 2018 11:00am
Maybe being honest about your feelings for your friend will help you to move on from them. She may or may not feel the same but honesty is important and may free you to move on. When I was younger and dealing with sexuality, I mistook closeness for attraction to a close friend. I eventually told her, I felt silly but she reassured me that it wasn't and that it wouldn't change anything. Soon after, those feelings vanished as if they weren't there in the first place. You don't have to confess your feelings to your friend, but it could help :)
August 17th, 2018 3:36pm
Many people have been there, including me. Relying on my own experience, it is best to explain to yourself that it just can't possibly work out. Even if you ended up in a relationship with her, you could not be really happy together. I managed to get over it only after a while. It is important for you to take your time and not expect to just stop having feelings for her all of a sudden, although that might happen too. Relying on what my friends have told me, it is also helpful to distance yourself a little bit from that person, maybe meet someone new, hang out with other people.
September 13th, 2018 6:32pm
If you are certain, thats she's straight, then It will only hurt you even if you express your feelings and she respects them. She may be mature and sweet and enough to still stay your bestie, but won't it hurt you to not receive the same love, or when you see her with someone else, in this case, a guy. Hence, better to move on. Cause she certainly can't change her natural orientation, just like you. May you find the guidance and right understanding, for way forward. Also, it is okay to express her what you feel. If she's your bestie, she'll understand.