Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

What does it mean to be Queer?

169 Answers
Last Updated: 12/13/2020 at 6:13pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Shruti Naik, MS in Counselling and Psychotherapy

Psychologist

I'm passionate about providing a non-judgmental & supportive platform to my clients to help them understand & accept themselves & overcome any emotional issues troubling them.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 4th, 2020 4:03pm
Queer is an umbrella term used by LGBTQ+ and MOGAI communities to mean anyone who is considered a part of those groups. If you are homosexual, you are queer. If you are genderfluid, you are queer. If you are aromantic, you are queer. Some people prefer to use that as a personal label instead of something more specific (ie. a bi man saying he's just queer). Some people use it to mean the community as a whole, since it's easier to say (ie. The Queer Community). However, it has also been used as a slur historically, even though that's not how it was used originally. Some people are not comfortable being referred to as queer, so keep that in mind. Basically, if it fits for you, then you have full rights to use it! As long as you are LGBTQ+ in some way, then it applies.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2020 5:11pm
To be queer means to identify as something not cisgender-heteroromantic-heterosexual. If your gender is different than your birth sex, then you aren’t cisgender. If you feel attraction to more than ‘the opposite’ gender(more than male-female), then you aren’t heterosexual or heteroromantic, depending on what type of attraction it is. It used to be a slur against the LGBTQ+ community but has been reclaimed. It can serve as a label for people who feel they don’t ‘fit’ with any other labels for gender or sexuality or can refer to any LGBTQ+ person. Being queer is perfectly valid in every way and a number of people express themselves as queer.
Recordlover27
April 30th, 2020 5:29am
Being Queer is an umbrella term but can also be used by a specific term as an identity. Anyone in the LGBTQ+ community can use the term, Queer. It generally implies the person is not straight, and you can also identify as something else along with being Queer. It's a great way to show who you are without having to be very specific. The term Queer is also used when talking about the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. It implies a person that doesn't follow heterosexual norms. It's a great and helpful term and I think it also means awesome!
Anonymous
May 6th, 2020 10:51pm
(This got a bit poetic at some point, so sorry about that!) To be queer means to dare to be your true, authentic self in a world which would sometimes rather we lied. To be queer is to take all of the things that society has taught us are wrong about ourselves, and celebrate them regardless, knowing we are not broken or sick, but rather beautiful in all our quirks and individuality. It is to struggle, to feel that you have to hide something as important and innocent as who you love or who you really are, and yet to go on loving and existing anyway. It is to be part of a global movement of people who are paving the way for the next generation to feel safer and more confident than ever before, and inspiring others. To be queer is a superpower of sorts, but also simply a slightly different way to be a human.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2020 5:52pm
It means to be part of a community of people who are different. People who sometimes have to hide who they are but are brilliant and wonderful. Being queer means being a little different from everyone else because of your sexuality or your gender. But it doesn't make you any less. It's something you can call yourself because the world decided you weren't normal and you didn't fit their expectations. Being queer means having stereotypes attached to who you are and people judging you before they know you. It means people being entitled and thinking they have a right to know everything about you. It means a lack of representation. But it also means discovering who you are. Understanding what makes you you. Learning more about yourself and choosing how you wish to identify. Being queer means being different but it also means being special.
CelloandMellow
June 13th, 2020 8:50pm
Being a queer person can mean a lot of different things to different people, but the most broad definition is probably being an LGBT+ person, or to be different than heterosexual and cisgender (identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth). "Queer" is a broad term for the LGBT community, but it has a lot of history that brings many gay people to dislike the term to describe themselves. Using the term "queer" is often associated with those that choose not to specifically define themselves, like nonbinary people or those with specific attractions that don't like labels. In the end, to be queer means to be you!
BlackWidow1911
June 19th, 2020 10:07am
"queer" is an adjective used by some people whose sexual orientation is not exclusively heterosexual. Also, typically, for those who identify as queer, the terms lesbian, gay, and bisexual are perceived to be too limiting and/or fraught with cultural connotations they feel don't apply to them. If you're not sure about a label, that's where an umbrella term like queer can come in handy. If you do decide on a label that feels right to you, also know that you define that label on your own terms. You can embrace the ambiguity and fluidity of sexuality. You don't have to know exactly who or what you are, and that's okay.
DayDreamWithYou
June 25th, 2020 2:29am
Queer refers to people who do not identify themselves as heterosexual or cisgender (people whose gender identity is the same as their gender matched at birth). Queer is a rather broad and vague term. There are some people in the LGBTQ+ who also identifies as queer heterosexual, meaning they may be attracted to the opposite gender but at the same time, exhibit other interests (not completely heterosexual). The term queer has also been used when people are questioning their sexual orientation. As mentioned before, queer is a naturally vague term, meaning to include everyone. Queer has been used in the past as an insult to the LGBTQ+ community as well as particular people. Therefore, it is important to remember to ask a person’s gender identity before categorizing them in any way whether or not one may believe they are. Recently, however, queer has become more of a broad term and is often mentioned.
LuTwo
July 4th, 2020 11:05am
From my own experience, to be queer means to be distinct from cisgender heteronormative standards that entrench nearly every part of our existence. To be queer for me means not necessarily a certain way of expression, but a personal rebellion against cishet norms, however that may be expressed. Queer identities are typically formed as a direct result of mainstream exclusion of gay/bi/trans people, even from within their own communities. Some may see it as an umbrella term that signifies a non-specific relation to the LGBTQ community, others see queer as its own distinct label that belongs within the LGBTQ community.
mistermorel
July 22nd, 2020 6:40pm
The Queer identity is one that has gone through a lot of changes as of late. The term originally meant, and still means, "strange or odd". Because of that, the term was used as a slur against members of the LGBT community, to describe them as strange or odd. As it does with many slurs, some members of the targeted community reclaimed the term for themselves. By using the term to describe themselves, these people felt like they could take the power out of the original term, and use it to describe themselves in a non-offensive way. [NOTE: As a slur, queer is usually used as a noun. For example: "you're a queer", "that queer is here". When it is reclaimed, it is usually used as an adjective. For example: "I'm here and I'm queer", "I am a queer person".] Many people use "queer" as a synonym for LGBT. Some people use "queer" to describe an identity that is definitely not cisgender or heterosexual, but they are not quite sure what it is yet. For example, instead of saying "I am bisexual", they may say "I am queer". This usage of queer is very often used to describe people who identify as "genderqueer". This term is often used synonymously with the term "nonbinary", which is someone who does not have a fully male or fully female gender. While many members of the LGBT community have reclaimed the word "queer", it is important to remember that many have NOT, and so it is not okay to call anyone queer if they have not made it clear that they identify with that word. As such, care should be taken to avoid referring to the entire LGBT community as "queers" or "the queer community". Reclaiming words is a highly individual experience, and it is perfectly alright that many people are not comfortable reclaiming the slur as their own. :) In summary, "queer" is a word that was originally used in a derogatory way towards LGBT people, but many have since reclaimed it. It can also describe someone who is LGBT but does not have a more specific identity, or someone who is nonbinary.
hopefulMonkey23
July 23rd, 2020 7:32pm
The way I understand it, it's an umbrella term for anyone who feels they don't fit (one way or another) in the monogamous, hetronormative narration. Or simply put anyone who feels left out because they don't fit in the boxes of society ;) Appearntly they want me to write an essay here. So I can explain some of the terms: Monogamy = a relationship between two people and two people only Hetronormative narration = everyhting that belongs to the idea of being hetero. The idea that it's the norm to be hetero and play in these roles. How women and men should behave towards eachother, for example men should take women out and nt the other way around. Boxes of society = the way society teaches us to be, for example, we need to go to school, get a good job, become succesfull and get a job.
jasminemgabb
July 29th, 2020 7:04pm
To be queer means something different for everyone. Growing up as a mixed Belizean/Mexican, homophobia and transphobia are prevalent in all parts of my family. So, to be queer for me means to be unafraid. I have chosen not only to come out, but to speak up against hateful rhetoric when I hear it in my family. To be queer for me means to be an advocate, for myself and the rest of the community. I am happy as a pansexual individual who is completely out. My sister, who is also panssexual, is completely out to my family. We both exist as a paradox but also as advocates.
JoelA
October 8th, 2020 1:21am
Queer is a word that describes sexual and gender identities other than straight and cisgender. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people may all identify with the word queer. Queer is sometimes used to express that sexuality and gender can be complicated, change over time, and might not fit neatly into either/or identities, like male or female, gay or straight. Moreover, queer is a word that clarifies that I’m not straight and ties me to the larger queer community, but it doesn’t categorize me as gay. All in all, queer could used to describe an individual who is not heterosexual.
Birdie72
October 31st, 2020 5:59pm
I think that being Queer means knowing that we fit into a "category" of lifestyle that defies a current social norm. Queer is knowing that there will be some people who, when they discover we life in a way that feels comfortable to us, makes them UNcomfortable. When asked what Queer means, I always think to myself "other" -- kind of like when you get a multiple choice exam, and none of the given answers will do. Being Queer is a way of seeing oneself in the world that challenges the status quo, the hierarchy, the patriarchy, and the typical structures that keep our society stuck in a past moment in time.
calmingFriend2210
November 4th, 2020 12:43am
Well the definition of it is odd or strange. But you shouldn’t really define yourself to be of a person of peculiarity. But in a way it could mean a lot of things. Depending on the context the word is used. So there isn’t really an exact answer I must say cause there could be a lot, depending on opinions. But if someone is queer it doesn’t necessarily mean there an outsider but a person with different tastes. I may not be a person to acquire this answer to its full potential but this is what I have insight on.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2020 12:39pm
In the modern sense, queer is used as an umbrella term for people who either have a non-straight sexual identity, a non-binary or trans gender identity, or a combination of any of those things. It is the ‘Q’ in LGBTQ+.The queer community is the community of people who do not identify as cis and/or hetero. Queer is a flexible term, which means different things to different people.The queer community is the community of people who do not identify as cis and/or hetero. Queer is a flexible term, which means different things to different people.The queer community is the community of people who do not identify as cis and/or hetero. Queer is a flexible term, which means different things to different people.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2020 10:47pm
Queer is an umbrella term often used to describe people who are not heterosexual or cisgender. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people may all identify with the word queer. It also includes intersex, asexual and non-binary people as well as others who are not sure of their sexual or gender identity or they don't want to "put themselves in a box", aka don't want to label themselves but they want to indicate that they are not straight and/or cisgender. Queer is sometimes used to express that sexuality and gender can be complicated, change over time, and might not fit neatly into either/or identities, like male or female, gay or straight.
rosycrowskull
November 20th, 2020 8:40pm
The term "queer" has a different meaning to everyone. Queer, by definition, is a word meaning eccentric or odd in nature. Queer was used as a slur for the longest time, but now people use this term as an empowering label. In the LGBTQ+ community, "queer" is an umbrella term for any sexuality or gender identity that is not heterosexual or cisgender. I happen to be one of those people that uses queer as an empowering label rather than an offensive slur. I have reclaimed the slur and used it as a term that identifies me with my community. I love being queer, and I wouldn't change my identity for the world. Have pride. Always. 🏳️‍🌈
majesticMirage95
December 13th, 2020 6:13pm
Queer is a word that describes sexual and gender identities other than straight and bisexual. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people may all identify with the word queer. Queer is sometimes used to express that sexuality and gender can be complicated, change over time, and might not fit neatly into either/or identities, like male or female, gay or straight. The word “queer” has history to it that’s hurtful — “queer” used to be (and sometimes still is) used to put down or disrespect LGBT people. But more and more, people use the word with pride to identify themselves. So don’t call someone “queer” unless you know they’re cool with it. The best thing to do is ask what labels people prefer.