Why can't we control anger easily?
Last Updated: 09/03/2018 at 12:16pm
Penny Dahlen, Ed.D., LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am committed to helping you find your passion, heal old wounds, and flow smoother in all aspects of your life path! I use a compassionate listening approach.
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Usually we're angry because we're hurt, scared, agitated, aggravated, or annoyed. I found exercising to be a tremendous way of channelling my anger. Other times graphic design. However everyone handles anger differently. For some people channeling their anger is not as easy as hitting a heavy bag or slapping a bowl of water (derived from shaolin culture for not just anger control, but conscious flow of movement control). Lets look at why we're angry, as I said usually we're angry because we're hurt, scared, agitated, aggravated, or annoyed. If someone is making constant clicking noises or being loud while watching a movie. This can irritate some people and make them feel disrespected. A lot of times some people will hold this in until it becomes to much and they burst instead of politely saying, "can you please reframe from such sounds, I'd like to watch this movie and that's a bit distracting". I've seen this first hand at a Trump Rally in Chicago where some people felt scared and acted out yelling or become belligerent thus participate in violent actions and feed on the energy of others.
Anger is the result of feeling hurt. Hurt feelings are the result of thinking that someone is doing something to diminish our value. If we think we are being diminished by someone it feels painful. If we have a high level of self-love and acceptance then we are less prone to react with anger, because our worth does not depend on the value we receive from others. With sufficient self-love our sense of worth is self-authored and frees us from the opinions of others.
It's a matter of individual choices. Some can easily control it, while others can't. To effectively control anger, one must focus on acting proactive rather than being reactive and acting impulsively.
Everybody is different. There is no one answer fits all. If you are having anger issues or know somebody that is perhaps you can speak with a counselor or therapist or contact a support group like Emotions Anonymous.
There are some methods to stop yourself from acting out in anger, but sometimes anger clouds our judgments. That's why it's hard to clam ourselves down sometimes when our focus is on the th I g that made us angry.
The reason is simple because we don't want to control anger. When we feel angry, the first and instant reaction is surge of negative energy inward or outward. Sometime we lash out at someone else and when we can't we keep it within our selves. But letting go is very difficult for all of us. Only a choicest few can manage the emotion called anger and a few who have won over the emotion (though I am yet to meet a person like that)..
Anger is an emotion that is characterized by antagonism towards someone or something that we feel has deliberately done us wrong or isn't accurate on purpose. Once we are at that point of being angry we tend to loose sight of reasoning and control. We think of only how we were wronged or cheated. We instead of focusing on being angry and being heard we need to put all of our attention on staying cool. Once we've come to a calm mindset, we can come to a reasoning a lot easier than when we were only focusing on being wrong instead of why and how to understand.
Anger is the only acceptable negative social emotion, especially for men. Anger usually stems from feelings of hurt or upset, and we can`t control who upsets or hurts us most of the time, therefore we can`t control feelings of anger that stem from feeling hurt or upset.
It best to find out where is that anger coming from and dealing with it. Rather than controlling it..
Well that depends if the person is a short temped one or he/she just bottles up the emotions and when it blasts out, it just goes KABOOM!!..its a natural thing,you know. Its one of those emotions that makes us human.we can't control laughter when we find something hilarious, can we. The same goes for anger. But wise is the man who can keep calm, cuz you know nothing comes out when this anger consumes you. The usual reason is that sometimes man forgets there's always a positive side to everything, and instead starts being like 'Hulk'. The main thing to remember in conclusion, 'Nothing good will come out from anger' so keep calm aye! ^-^
Anger is a negative emotion. Majority of people experience negative emotions very easily and strongly. That's a human nature or this is what humans have evolved into. Handling emotions is a tough job, especially after having to deal with hundreds of them on daily basis. Yes! We generally don't realise that. While there are plenty of emotions, Anger is the frequently visited emotions, specially during time of stress, lack of peace/ calm and during worrisome situations. With time it becomes like a pattern and eventually a habit. It's not impossible to control anger, however one should be aware about the pattern of his/her anger. Without the awareness it will not be controlled. As stated above, the frequency of experiencing an emotion decides the control over it.
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