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why do i feel the need to smash or punch things when im upset ?

25 Answers
Last Updated: 07/28/2020 at 9:00am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
December 15th, 2015 4:20pm
you are currently experiencing a fit of anger or rage and see this need as a form of emotional release.You lack emotional control and hope to feel better. :( but please stay calm you're only engaging in self destruction chat me up if needed!
- Expert in Managing Emotions
November 9th, 2015 2:18am
When you are upset with something that is out of your control, you will feel like you need to destroy anything and everything that you can control and desroy just to feel like your in control again.
July 25th, 2016 4:18am
Because I would rather harm an inanimate object than a person. Sometimes the frustration Or anger I feel is too intense to put into words.
June 17th, 2015 2:54pm
Anger is a common way that sadness manifests in the human body. The best thing to do is try to get your energy out in a constructive way. Try running or working out, writing, drawing, watching tv, listening to music, even crying can make you feel better.
February 26th, 2015 5:00pm
You might just need something to take out your emotions on which is perfectly okay and can be healthy when you direct those emotions into something positive. For example, some people like to walk away from the situation and use all that fuel to power away for a run! This gives the person time to reflect back and time to calm down. There are hundreds of other methods you can try! You can even use a punching bag instead of a random object. Is there anything you can think of that you could try instead?
February 25th, 2015 12:50am
because when you hit things this relives stress as you are angry and there is no other way to express this
September 20th, 2016 11:17pm
You might feel a release by smashing or punching something. It may help channel the anger allowing you to become calmer.
April 4th, 2017 4:24pm
I feel that the urge to punch or break things when anger just comes from your innermost rage, the satisfaction of control, of you being able to say "This thing" no longer has the right to exist, it emboldens and empowers the person. At least to some extent.
May 16th, 2017 1:20pm
I honestly don't get violent but I do lash out, sometimes at the very top of my lungs! I heard that how we release pent up emotions, but it just makes me madder to.the point of exhaustion. Maybe that's it: we're tiring ourselves out to the point of exhaustion/pain to drown out our emotional distress
November 7th, 2017 6:59pm
I often feel the need to break something when I feel out of control, like no matter what I do nothing changes. Even though breaking something is a negative change, I do feel like I have an impact on my environment. A healthier alternative may be to clean or organize and see a physical change that way, as long as these aren't to excess. Another reason I sometimes feel like I want to break something is to redirect anger I have towards a person or situation. In that case, exercise might help. It will release physical energy in a non harmful way.
April 14th, 2015 3:26am
you want to get out you anger that has been bottle up with in, and let it go, and hitting sometimes makes people feel better
May 1st, 2015 2:14am
It is your way of venting. The adrenaline is building up and you are releasing it physically. It is common.
November 27th, 2015 4:27am
This may be your method of expression or release. When you bottle things up or keep everything on the inside, you get an explosive reaction.
May 23rd, 2017 2:05am
I too have felt the need to smash or punch things when I'm upset. Generally, when I'm no longer upset and can objectively look back at the situation and emotion to identify what was going on before I felt so upset, what happened while I was upset (did I smash something) and how I felt after my reaction. Reflecting on my own circumstances I seem to reach that point of anger and frustration when I feel I have no control over what is going on and the emotion just overwhelms my senses.
March 22nd, 2016 8:22pm
My best guess is you have feelings you usually bottle up or pent up. Finding a way to healthily let out whatever emotions you're feeling would be a good way to limit the need to smash things.
June 1st, 2015 7:06pm
Why would I punch something that has nothing to do with the situation? I f I break stuff I just lose valuable assets in the house and my problem will still be there!
February 15th, 2016 12:14pm
You're angry. You're frustrated. You're upset. That's why. Ask yourself the opposite question as why do I feel I need to break grandma's china. The trick is to recognise that you are angry or whatever so that you do not hurt something more valuable than grandma's priceless tea set.
January 11th, 2016 1:47pm
Sometimes we all have trouble with anger when we are feeling upset, it is the sign of frustration not being able to get released in a positive way. A way to overcome this is to indulge in new hobbies, perhaps something creative, a sport or martial art. Art and physical therapy are great ways of channeling negative emotions and turning them into a positive outlet for life's frustrations.
May 17th, 2016 9:08pm
It's not so bad, there's just energy in you that wants to move around -- that's all anger is, energy. Just don't break anything or hurt yourself -- punching a pillow or kicking your feet in the air is just fine
August 2nd, 2016 11:47am
Sadness causes emotional pain in our mind and anger is the evolutionary response to pain. There is a term called redirected attack in behavioural sciences. Its common reaction of mammals, animals do it too, just like us. Basically, when we get angry at another person, we have the urge to attack them in some way.
April 23rd, 2018 6:15pm
Sometimes, when people are upset, they find themselves needing to have a physical outlet for their emotions. Instead smashing or punching things, go for a run or to the gym.
July 13th, 2020 7:54am
This used to be me, and it was because I had no other outlet for my anger. Anger MUST be released, it CANNOT be contained. How you choose to release it is up to you. The healthiest way is a mental release in the form of meditation, reflection etc. but this is not something that is so easy to do. I feel like anyone who is angry should vent to someone. Do not sit on your anger. Talk to somebody about what makes you angry, yell at them in caps, etc. (just make it clear that you are venting, not actually angry at them). Scream into a pillow if you need to. Cry if you need to. When all of these other outlets to release your anger are blocked, it goes out the last way it knows how: through intense physical action. Violence. Punching. Kicking.
June 7th, 2016 3:07am
It's normal to feel the need of releasing all the energy you are getting by holding yourself. What's not healthy is when you feel the need to smash EVERYTIME you feel upset. For this I do impact sports. It could be as light as running (impact from the ground) or even boxing. It really helps to release that energy regularly from the stress. Some might prefer to do completely the opposite, like tai chi or Yoga. Search your best method to use that energy you are holding from being upset.
February 24th, 2020 2:54am
We have a lot of emotions that we as humans have to try to navigate, and anger is a very strong and difficult one to navigate. “ By hitting something, the energy stored is consumed and brain gets a signal of satisfaction and a pacifying state is made available to partially nullify the anger rising within specific areas of brain.” By punching something you’re inflicting pain on something else and yourself, which can help your inner anger, but will not help in the long run. It’s the same idea as sexual frustrations your body wants the feeling to find relief, but is not the correct answer.
July 28th, 2020 9:00am
Everyone is bound to feel upset now and then but when there is a need to smash or punch ,That's anger. Raw anger which is finding a way to be release. Just like how the hot lava flows out of a volcano when it's top blows off and destroys everything as it flows, smashing and punching things are also going to destroy your peace , your relationships, your self respect and dignity. Sort through your feelings and find what triggers you or who triggers you. Sometimes it can be your own Ego which feels upset when it is not given its due recognition. Basically be aware and alert and make different choices of response when you are upset. You could just walk away to take a breather. You could go for a jog to release the build up energy . You could do breathing exercises to calm yourself. Being upset does not need to end with anger. That would not help you to sort/solve or even look deeper into the issue that made you upset .