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ASilentObserver profile picture
Attention All 35+! Join your 24/7 Group Chat today!
by ASilentObserver
Last post
 August 31st
...See more Note: The group chat is not active atm. Update date: Jan 28, 2025.  Hello community, We are excited to announce that we are opening 35+ group chat as an exclusive 24/7 chat group, just for those of us who are 35 and over w.e.f Monday, April 22, 2024. This is a space to connect with others in your age group, share experiences, have meaningful conversations, and build a supportive community to encourage and empower each other. To ensure this group remains a safe space for everyone, the chat will be badge-locked. This means only users who have their age as 35 or over will be able to access the group chat.  Here's what makes this group special: * 24/7 access: Keep the conversation flowing, day or night! * Exclusive community: This group is badge-locked, ensuring only users 35 and over can join, fostering a space tailored to your life stage. * In-depth discussions: Dive into meaningful conversations on topics you care about. A few group chat guidelines to keep in mind: * Respectful Communication: Let's all treat each other with kindness and courtesy. * Positive Vibes: We encourage uplifting and engaging conversations. * Life Experiences: Share your wisdom, stories, and support. * Open-mindedness: Be receptive to different perspectives. * No Spam: Let's keep the chat focused and respectful. Let’s join and participate. Please spread the word to your 35+ friends and invite them to participate with you in the group chat for some supportive & meaningful conversations. 
ASilentObserver profile picture
Weekly Prompt #1: What are some unexpected challenges and triumphs you've encountered in your 30s and beyond?
by ASilentObserver
Last post
 July 14th
...See more Welcome to 35+ Community,  As we navigate through our 30s and beyond, life presents us with unexpected challenges and triumphs that shape our experiences and perceptions and define who we are. These years bring a unique set of experiences and test our resilience, patience and push us out of our comfort zones, and ultimately lead to personal growth. Let's explore and share some of the surprising obstacles and victories that many of us encounter during this stage of life. Question of the week: What are some unexpected challenges and triumphs you've encountered in your 30s and beyond? Please share and discuss together. Also, you can join us in 35+ group support chats [https://www.7cups.com/chat/?c=mmdmeXyUkeJO45VriIjD] for live discussions and exploration as well.  Click here to join! [https://www.7cups.com/chat/?c=mmdmeXyUkeJO45VriIjD]
DisneyFanatic1984 profile picture
Lonely Wife Here...
by DisneyFanatic1984
Last post
 Saturday
...See more Hi! I need someone to talk to, or a friend. I’m not looking for a romantic relationship. I’m a wife, no kids. I love my husband, but things could be a lot better. I can’t talk to him because it creates arguments. I’ve tried the I feel, and we statements and it’s not working. At this point I’m disgusted just being around him and I hate myself for it. I feel like he’s this big kid, and I’m the responsible adult. Then other times, I feel like he is an old man, and I’m younger at heart. I’m 36 and he is 38. I feel like I’m stuck in my marriage. I don’t want a divorce, I just want things to get better but I don’t think they won’t. At this point... I’m just miserable and conflicted. He’s a good guy, I know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I just need someone to talk to. I’m weird but I prefer talking to men because I connect/ open up better. I just need someone who wants to listen and Give advice and isn’t sensitive to open minded, nothing off limits when it comes to talking kind of women. I curse like a sailor sometimes, and don’t have a filter most times. Thanks.
Spencerxryan profile picture
Betrayal/infidelity/depression
by Spencerxryan
Last post
 September 4th
...See more Hey everyone. I am having a VERY difficult time dealing with my wife having an affair. My depression is making it almost impossible to move forward. We are supposed to be making our marriage work but the pain and betrayal and memories of the things I saw, and what she did are always flooding my brain. I feel so much sorrow and feel so insignificant. Is there anyone who has healed from a situation like this?
easySail1800 profile picture
Struggling with Health Issues
by easySail1800
Last post
 September 1st
...See more Hi! My name is Brian. I am 39 years old. I am new to this thread but it's nice to see a over 35 group here. About a year ago I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's an autoimmune disease. Since then things have just getting worse unfortunately. Some of it is of my own doing and some of it is probably my mental health. I had preexisting mental health issues since I was a teenager along with ASD. It's been very challenging. I keep going back in my head to 2 years ago when things were better. Right now I've been working on finding a Doctor who understands the illness. So far the Doctors I've had haven't been the best.  I wasn't sure if there was anyone else here who struggles with an autoimmune illness. I had heard of Hashimoto's before I got diagnosed but never thought I would have it. I sometimes am still in a bit of denial and anger about it. 
ItssandE profile picture
Anyone here dealing with physical insecurities
by ItssandE
Last post
 August 30th
...See more I was 34 years old when I lost my left arm. My life completely changed.  Physically, mentally.  The Phantom nerve pain is exhausting. I'm anxious when I leave my home people who stare make it so uncomfortable .
Eme82 profile picture
Seeking Guidance for a Complex Set of Tax Problems
by Eme82
Last post
 August 27th
...See more Hello. Is there anyone who possesses expertise about taxes on this platform? I could use some help in a pro-bono capacity, but I don't know where I can turn to find it. Please leave a 👍in the replies if you would be okay with me DMing you my questions. Thank you for reading this post, and I wish you well.
sincereBanana302 profile picture
Looking to Discuss The Therapy Session I had today.
by sincereBanana302
Last post
 August 21st
...See more For context I am a 36 year old man in Philadelphia. Had therapy yesterday. Feel sort of distressed right now and may take sick day tomorrow. Scheduled with therapist for next week instead of in two weeks.  What started the below is telling him Ive given up hope on ever reaching my career and life goals at the beginning of our session today. He told me: My problem is that Ive been unhappy and that marriage and career dont fix that. The problem is the unhappiness. I need to be thinking about this problem and its new definition. Its not that there is something wrong with me but I was mentally injured as a child and haven't been a happy adult. My therapist said he did feel rejuvenated that we are here and that I am going to try this approach throughout the week. He had been waiting for me to get here for years. Ive seen him for 7.5 years.  I do feel being in love would make me happier but I also think it would benefit me to try this. I dont like my feelings being dismissed, I would he happier being in a loving relationship. I actually do not want to be happy if I live my entire life without a family. Its not something I am interested in and I have a right to feel that way. It frustrates me that people say that is wrong or that I cant be in a relationship if I feel that way. 
Applehorse profile picture
My Life has been a series of failures for decades. I am tired, jaded and lost fool
by Applehorse
Last post
 June 14th
...See more My Life has been a series of failures for decades. I am tired, jaded and lost fool. I am 40 this year and completely ashamed of myself. I've failed to: ~ Achieve my life dreams in time (when all my peers are thriving well settled with career & family) ~ Thrive in my Self Employment: Business in fields of my passions. When i started I had my mojo and things were growing reasonably for a while. then lost my mojo and struggling to build it back up My Life Dream during my personal best times (3 years) ... were these: 1] Get a Scholarship: was a 90% student, athlete, deep intellectual research. singing, engineering passion etc 2] Begin my Business: Pooling all my talents and creative energy to empower lives. 3] Settle with my own Family All within usual age of 20-30s. Anything wrong with that?? esp when most peers do that? ------------------------- ~ On the day week of the major examinations ... I got nervous breakdown (despite being positive and excited) forgot all my points, understood nothing, forgot my English grammar ~ Instead of 90+% I ended up barely passing the examination with life-long record of it to boot. ~ Life after that was a downward spiral the more i tried to rise up till today. ~ While i hate working under others instructions, I did for 3-4 years apply for every job in all valid sectors upon my graduation from 26-30. few 1000s job - to start me off I got NONE of them. I did some part time gigs ..worked hard ... but got let go for not being a fit. While i worked hard ... I hated every moment of being employee. ~ My family (folks extended fam): Narc Toxic (folks) and family of enablers (since they are doing well). Massive family showdown happens at 30 ... because tired of getting nothing, i decided to start freelance towards my dreams. I became the useless black sheep and scapegoat. to this Day. ~ My freelance work began being a tutor, then added FX trading (which for a few years i was nailing 3-5% daily, but with limited capital from excess of other income.). in 2020 I tried to add building an E-business. ~ I lead a simple personal life on a budget < $500. I end up spending my less like $200-300 monthly only ... so its more than enough for other essential expenses. the rest of my income in savings. ~ Tutor income was limited by my being a solo tutor (offline). ~ My Fx capital was limited by profitablity + top ups from being a tutor. I kept both a levels I could afford. ~ except that the savings and everything .... while more than enough to support my survival is not enough to get my own place. ------------------------- And then in the pandemic period....Lots of things happened .... 1. I lost my FX mojo. most trading decisions are wrong, and does not help that when i progress, now i am allowed 10-20% per trade. So its pointless I top up capital .. unless I trade right! I hate myself so much because ppl who do this by now are usually multi-millionaires? How am I working? 2. Tutorships dwindled to nothing this year. with everything going online as well. I am tryign to transition into coaching courses ... but marketing has yielded no results. 3. E-Business: over 2 years .... hardly any sales with initial version and had to keep modifying business model and researching to make it work. At my wits end. ------------------------- My folks have retired but doing part time. Using that to gaslight and blame shift and the whole works. Interrupt my work etc...I work from home yes. They love to praise themselves and compare. I can only ignore so much. They have their monthly annuity source though. They expect me to sponsor the whole house expenses. Does not help that my own health is showing its signs from less than in 20s. I know I need to exercise and all. But doing so reminds me of my failures and I instantly lose motivation. Forcing myself ironically tenses me up ... which becomes dangerous to exercise then. Let alone hating myself for not haveing my fire in me Still getting my own place to live. As in my country ... its mighty expensive and i can only go for private property due to regulations. ------------------------- I am 40 and have lost my sense of purpose in life. I do not know what I am going forth towards. It feels I am just heading towards senility and grave. I feel I am past all the usual life establishment chekcpoints but am at Zero. I am afraid anyone reading this ... may conclude I am just giving excuses. I know I am not. I am fighting and fighting for decades to have my personal life, space and way - away from toxicity. Just keep face planting. Seeing others thriving simply adds on to my sense of failure. I am Lost, Jaded, Sad What should my next step be?
dapperShade6971 profile picture
Am a female in my late thirties Need friends to call and checkup on me
by dapperShade6971
Last post
 April 30th
...See more Our front door clicked shut at 6:43 a.m. I remember the time because the microwave clock was the only thing he didn’t take.  He didn’t yell. He just lifted Cellie from her bed, still wrapped in the yellow blanket , and walked out. Her backpack was already by the door. So was his bag. He’d packed in the night whilet I was explaining to his aunt to beg him I stood in the kitchen in bare feet. The lease was in his name. The bank account was in his name. Even the car title his name. When I opened the pantry, it was empty except for a box of salt. He’d cleared it after dinner yesterday and I thought he was just cleaning. By noon the locks were changed. His sister was there to do it. She wouldn’t look at me. “He said you’d understand,” she told the floor.  I didn’t.  That night I slept on a bench at the bus station because the shelter was full. My phone had 3% and no one left to call.  Is years now am lost, I had nothing in my name no home to money no friends no nobody. ..... but I believe God is never partial 
neatBlueberry5213 profile picture
Friend Betrayal
by neatBlueberry5213
Last post
 April 20th
...See more I had my best friend of 8 years attack me with a vindictive voice memo when I mentioned concerned about her new boyfriend (which she asked me to do before she began dating anyone.) She detailed all the mistakes I had made in my relationships that I had shared in confidence, comparing herself to me as being wiser. Then she blocked me. I just discovered the married the guy she had been dating only months later. I'm sad that she changed so drastically. It was like I didn't know the true her at all. And I'm sorry she's not moved into a situation so like her first marriage. I know I can't do anything being a stranger now but it is disappointing and discouraging. Hoping someone can understand or has been in a similar situation.
Trex1983 profile picture
Christmas Day lows...
by Trex1983
Last post
 April 20th
...See more Really struggling today. It started in bed with my wife... I cuddled up to her, stroking her - she was cold as ice... stared at the TV didn't look at me or flinch. My son came in, and talked with us... she said something and responded negatively about me, belittling me. This happens a lot... everything that she says about me is always negative. I'm useless, I'm lazy. So this time, I quipped back... "Do you always jump to something negative about me when you think about me?" to which she replied without a moment to think or any hesitation "Yes". Then started the downward spiral... I put lots of thought into, and spent money that we don't have, on presents for her. She didn't seem to like, want or appreciate any of them. My mum died 10 years ago, it was her birthday 2 days ago, I started dwelling on that, and that we needed to go the cemetery still. Then started the worst bits... 15 months ago I found that she had been cheating on me. She's been suffering with health problems and stopped any intimate contact from her to me 4-5 years ago. She's shot me down with anything sexual or intimate ever since, and sex has been once every 1-2 months. She claimed this was because of her health and that she just didn't feel like anything sexual as a result. Anyway, I found that she had been messaging and meeting up with some guy... She'd performed oral sex on him, and planned to meet up with him for intercourse. Planned to tell me that she was going out with friends but was going to join him at a hotel instead. At the time, she did tell me that she was going out with friends, but then cancelled her plans and didn't go. After finding out what happened with them I confronted her and tried to work through things... I found that the time she performed oral sex on him, she went to the cemetery with him, and afterwards went to the car park of a supermarket and performed oral sex on him in his car... and that's where my connection started today. I was so low about my mum and dad, having a bad day already, and then my head got stuck on the cemetery... what she did last time she was there, and how that's something she won't and likely never will do with me. And now my head is stuck with it going around and around.
decisiveSummer9345 profile picture
Controlling, abusive, plus porn
by decisiveSummer9345
Last post
 January 28th
...See more I’m the worst. I am addicted to porn. I can all be controlling and abusive when I don’t get my way. I been like this for years. I have terrible separation anxiety. It’s like I want to do better. There’s no need to say but behind it. I recently got married and a issue with property and income became a problem. To be honest it was always there but I ignored it cause my wife said she would do what I asked. It didn’t happen and I was pissed. We got into tugging matches that I started. I feel so bad cause she is gone now and probably very well file for divorce. I feel so stupid cause man I want things to be better then what there are. I don’t think she realized how addicted to porn I was but one reason I am because my social skills not the greatest. I build myself up to say I’m not going to look at that stuff anymore but I always do. If I worked out as much as I watch porn I would be really fit. I just feel so stupid cause every relationship I have is broken except for me talking to my mom. Nobody like me for very long and sometimes. I’m about to be in my second failed marriage and I don’t know what to do. I’m embarrassed about the marriage failing to my kids, my neighbors, and our parents. I love my wife. I didn’t want her to have a house on the side in her name. This was the entire argument I couldn’t see past. I clowned last time we were together. Maybe I should have just ignored my beliefs and just gave in. I need help. I feel alone and I don’t like this feeling
understanding85 profile picture
Is my husband cheating me wirh live-in helper
by understanding85
Last post
 December 6th, 2025
...See more Although they don’t have a relationship yet, but I have noticed my helper starting in my direction when my husband is also next to me. For sure my husband has a crush on her. Should I throw my live-in helper out? My husband is 40, I am 30 with an 8 yr old kid. Helper is 30, unmarried and pretty. Looks better than me.

Welcome to the 35 and over community!  Our aim is to provide an inviting space for those of us who are over 35 to find like-minded people, discuss our concerns, and reminisce over a cup of tea  :)   


(Adults), Join us in the Thirty-Five & Over Room every Wednesday! 

Would you like to be added to the Tag List?  Please reply to this thread Here

Our ever-growing support team are here to help you with any questions, so feel free to send us a message :)  Interested in joining the team?  Please PM 7cups.com/@MistyMagic

Please respect others' opinions, even if we strongly disagree. There is no right or wrong answer here. Please avoid conflict or arguments. 

Thank you!

Community Guidelines

The following are the guidelines which are specific to the 35 & Over Community. We ask you to follow them, as well as the Forum Guidelines. Their purpose is to ensure a safe and supportive environment for everyone.

The main goal of this sub-community is to offer support and a space to share and socialize, for the 7 Cups users who are 35 years old, or older. After reaching a certain age, people have specific life concerns that might not be shared by people who don't have as much life experience.
However, age isn't a requirement to participate in our sub-community.

All Adults are welcome!


However, please understand that teens as young as 13 years old can access these forums, so please keep topics appropriate.

So please:
- Reach out for support from your member account
- Offer support as a member or listener
- Be respectful to everyone
- Add a trigger warning  [TW] if your topic needs it
- Take care of yourself
- Take care of others
- Have fun!


 

For more detailed information about how to behave in the forums and in 7 Cups in general:

Community Guidelines
Member Reputation
Listener Reputation

 

Read the 7 Cups Guidelines
Community Resources

Welcome to the 35 and over community!  Our aim is to provide an inviting space for those of us who are over 35 to find like-minded people, discuss our concerns, and reminisce over a cup of tea  :)   


(Adults), Join us in the Thirty-Five & Over Room every Wednesday! 

Would you like to be added to the Tag List?  Please reply to this thread Here

Our ever-growing support team are here to help you with any questions, so feel free to send us a message :)  Interested in joining the team?  Please PM 7cups.com/@MistyMagic

Please respect others' opinions, even if we strongly disagree. There is no right or wrong answer here. Please avoid conflict or arguments. 

Thank you!