Care is Electricity
When I care for someone, I imagine a heart-to-heart connection with them. It’s like a live wire or cord connects my heart to theirs. Care is electricity. When we are loved and connected, we are getting charged up by others. I send them care, compassion, and love through this current.
This looks like me checking up on them, being interested in their life, and following how things are unfolding. Sometimes it includes giving more direct feedback. But most of the time, it simply consists of providing a high-warmth environment for them and truly listening.
When I was a child, I could see how simple care transforms lives.
My mother did in-home daycare throughout my childhood and adolescence. She cared for six kids alongside my sister and me. For most of that time, she cared for kids and families with fewer financial resources - parents who were actively struggling with addiction, loss, and deep pain. When these parents stopped by to pick up their kids in the afternoon, they’d sometimes stay for 30 minutes or even an hour. My mother was attentive. She simply cared for them. Sitting in that basement room, I watched people eventually begin to heal and recover. They were plugging in and getting their batteries recharged.
I’ve been involved in human service roles my entire life. I’ve cared for people struggling with addiction, people facing homelessness, and people starting over after hospitalization. I’ve worked in cities where kids were swept up in gangs and given up on. I taught some of these kids how to skateboard and played basketball with them. I enjoyed their company and loved being competitive with them.
Sometimes, "hanging out" is the most therapeutic thing you can do. You are generating a shared charge. I made sure they knew I saw them, and I never gave up on them. A lot of those kids healed, got on the right track, and have updated me over the years to let me know they are okay. I am proud of them.
I’ve seen it in my own family, too. When relatives have been in tough jams, the connection from my heart to theirs was flooded with a high-voltage current of hope, compassion, and prayers. Other family members connected their wires to them as well, sending a collective surge of support. Eventually, they made it to the other side. They healed.
Over time, I started realizing something important: people often heal through relationships before they heal through techniques. Being deeply seen, consistently cared for, and not abandoned during hard moments changes people. Sometimes the most transformative thing isn’t advice or intervention. It’s the experience of another human being sincerely staying connected to you.
The Science of the Heart-to-Heart Connection
In clinical psychology, the most important driver of successful therapy is something called the “therapeutic alliance.” The gist of it is simple: the client feels like the therapist likes them, understands them, and is genuinely on their team.
Carl Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology, captured this perfectly:
“In my early professional years, I was asking the question, How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?”
For all of you in our community, you’ll be familiar with this idea as it is core to active listening and the emotional support relationships we all form on 7 Cups. In fact, way back in 2015, a study was done looking at how 7 Cups listeners established a therapeutic alliance with members. A summary of the results follows:
Results: Overall, the ratings of the sessions were high. Most participants who indicated that they received psychotherapy indicated that the service provided by the free emotional support program is equal or better than psychotherapy. Relating to psychotherapy and online emotional support advantages, different advantages were found. The findings suggest that receiving support from volunteers makes users feel that the support is more genuine, citing more personal and sincere caring because listeners aren't just doing a job.
Authenticity Matters
We have also measured therapeutic alliance levels with our AI, Noni. People rate her high, but they still prefer to talk to another human being.
Why is that?
I think it is because we need to know that we matter to someone else. We want to feel that care flowing from a person who is actively choosing to give us their time. Carl Rogers knew that genuineness matters. You know when a person truly likes you, and you know when they are just acting the part.
I was talking with Cris about this today, and he mentioned a study involving phone calls. The researchers found that the person on the other end of the line just knew when the speaker was genuinely smiling, even without seeing their face. True care is felt and experienced differently. It carries a real electric charge you can't fake.
The 7 Cups Electric Field
This breaks care entirely out of the mental health infrastructure box. Humans are fundamentally electric. You can get that electricity from anyone - friends, family, or even the shared collective energy of a group.
Forced solation, being "in the hole," or deep loneliness is the removal of that charge. It is another way of saying, I am not getting a charge from another person. My battery is draining out.
7 Cups is an electric field where people come to get charged up. A person comes to the site looking for support. They raise their hand and say, "I am in pain. My battery is low." A listener picks up the chat. They connect a live wire, or cord, from their heart to the member’s heart. They send a current of care. The new member begins to heal. Sometimes, that member joins a group or connects with multiple listeners, receiving currents of care from all over the world. Eventually, their own battery charges up. They cross a threshold, and then they start to pass that current to new people who are raising their hands.
I sometimes imagine this as us all sitting around a warm fire. The new person arrives. We greet them and give them a bowl of hot soup. They are thinking - Wait, is this real? Can I trust and relax here and get help? Time goes by. The next new person arrives. The person that was just unsure welcomes them, invites them to sit by the fire, and gives them a bowl of soup. This happens thousands of times each day.
Tools Run on Power
Care is something we all naturally do for one another. I have a strong hunch that this simple, horizontal care may end up being the most powerful therapeutic ingredient in the world.
The ideal clinical therapist knows how to create a strong alliance and use technical interventions. Think of therapists as having highly specialized power tools to help you. But those tools run on electricity. If there is no electricity - if they don't genuinely like and care for you - then the tools simply will not turn on.
The therapeutic alliance, or the "Care Alliance," as I want to call it when we talk about regular people supporting one another, is the power source. Sometimes, you need technical skills to fix a specific problem. But often, the raw electricity of care is entirely sufficient on its own.
The traditional therapeutic alliance describes the trust and emotional bond between a therapist and client. But I think there’s a broader human version of this that exists outside clinical settings entirely.
A Care Alliance forms anytime someone genuinely feels:
“This person sees me. This person cares about me. This person is with me.”
It can happen between friends, listeners, parents, peers, mentors, spouses, group members, or even strangers during difficult moments. It is not built on credentials or technique first. It is built on authentic emotional presence.
Therapy is one place where this alliance can happen. But human healing relationships are everywhere.
We are going to start measuring this Care Alliance in a more deliberate way on 7 Cups. When a person cares for you, and you know it, there is an extra texture, a raw energy that travels through that bond. True care hits differently.
I think this care is very healing and powerful.
We launched 7 Cups in 2013. We’ve been at it for 13 years. We’ve optimized most of the site and apps to make it easier to use. We’ve added dozens of mindfulness activities, ways to find listeners, groups, self-help guides, etc. You name it, we’ve done it. This has all been done with the goal of helping people heal and recover.
For years, we’ve focused on improving tools, features, activities, and accessibility on 7 Cups. Those things matter. But more and more, I think the next chapter of healing may not be technological optimization. It may be helping people form deeper, more authentic bonds of care with one another.
Here is an image that I think captures how this "heart-to-heart" connection actually works.
I wanted to share these ideas with you all and ask you to help me better understand this care alliance. How does it happen on 7 Cups and in real life? What do you think of the way I’m describing it? What am I missing?
Feel free to share examples, video clips, stories, or ideas. Any and all help is very welcome. Thank you!
I don't know. Care can hold the animation of a moment, it can energize it, it can also deflate and cool an energized moment.
Although electricity is plastic in a similar way - it presents as lightening, as neuronal firing, as collected rays of sun, etc., and the properties of electricity have various effects- it seems to always be excitational.
Understanding the act of care as a dynamic of life and nature is a really interesting way to think. I enjoy considering kindness in similar ways. I find these way of feeling, emoting, thinking and practicing constitute foundations of social awareness and skill.
@charmingZebra4754 is there anything about the electricity metaphor that helps with the social awareness and skill you highlighted? or a better analogy or metaphor that captures things?
my apologies, I had my reader hat on, and forgot my social skill entirely. Finding a metaphor that facilitates how care connects people to each other and our environment in a way that creates the safety for people to hold room to consider the sometimes uncomfortable thought of how we integrate algorithmic knowledge into day to day life is helpful.
Considering a response I had to ask questions like, does care transform our lives as much as the sun? Does care have the same effect as lightening? Which was neat.
@charmingZebra4754 no need to apologize and I welcome your thinking here!
Hi, there's something very important I really need to tell you, if I'm not I can go on.
@GlenM
I like the description of cups as a group of people sitting by the fire with soup. It describes something nearly everyone i know longs for– community. It is the most important thing.
One thing you didn't mention is that sometimes, the electricity we send out is not well recieved. Just like too much electricity can fry appliances, and too little simply doesn't work. Sometimes the person on the other end isn't ready to recieve. They are both asking for help and pushing away from it. They need the electricity to recharge, but it's shocked them before, and they're not very open to trying it again, despite the need.
I think it's very important to remember that 7cups deals with humans who are essentially different and at different stages. Theres no "one fits all" model of this. Several people owe their lives to cups. Others have barely been affected by it. There are some people who 7cups can and even has helped, but shy away from it anyways.
What is important is that there's always a fire, and always an extra bowl of soup, so to speak. What is important is choice– that there is always the option to try. A door that never closes. People that never turn away. Electricity that is always available but never forced on you.
I think right now the tone of 7cups is essentially "We are always here to help." But some people shy away from the idea that help is a need or option for them. They're not looking for promises of growth and self-exploration. They're looking for safety and again, community. Care that comes without expectations. Not "here to help" but just "here".
Sometimes that care needs to be quiet. Like sitting in silence. I'm not sure how Cups can achieve that honestly... community in silence.
@unassumingEyes spot on! This is very, very, insightful. And, yes, we've deliberately created that culture of always here, but no demands. It is a huge credit to our community. If you like this kind of reasoning, then you might enjoy Martin Buber's work (you are likely already familiar), but the gist of it is that you treat people as people (not objects or a part of you) - really try to see them and what they want and honor it.
And great points on timing too. I think sometimes people are not ready yet and that that not readiness makes perfect sense in the context of their life. It just isn't time. If it is time and they want help then we'll be here.
Glad you highlighted these subtle and true points.
@GlenM
I'm not familiar with Martin Buber's works, but I do agree with the gist, and I'll make a point of checking them out!
I really think the 7Cups Sharing Circle and such programs in the group chats are beneficial for such people. It's a somewhat systematic give-and-take method, where you have your time to seek help and your time to give it. It's definitely useful for quieting that little doubt– "do i deserve this help?" by showing that it's a fair exchange for all parties involved.
Kudos to you for all your efforts here on cups. We're grateful for this place youve created, and I hope to see it growing to reach the amazing potential it has.
@unassumingEyes thank you! Odd 7 cups fact - we actually started with audio. People would call in and we'd ring all the listeners and whoever picked up would be connected. We found out that most people preferred anonymous messaging b/c audio felt like too much of an ask to make of another person.
totally agree on sharing circle. it is a nice give and take and a very powerful intervention!
@GlenM
Interesting. I'm glad you made the switch, or I wouldn't have been able to use this site. There's another reason why using audio was a disadvantage, you know– those of us who live with others and are uncomfortable opening up where they can hear, or it's simply not a safe option. It's my situation, and why I can't utilize most helplines– I simply can't say these things outloud where I live
It's amazing to hear about how 7cups has changed over the years. In a few years, I wonder where the site will be? Imprpved and thriving, I expect. Fingers crossed!
@unassumingEyes
Hi Eyes! 😊 ❤️
Just Wow! 😳 What you said was so very beautiful to me, so nice, I read it twice, and what you said made my eyes well up!
I love how you brought up a personal sense of readiness. Not everyone is there yet but we are, simply here, simply waiting for whenever it is that they are ready. Maybe just someone knowing that we are here, keeping the home fires🔥burning, willing to embrace them with open arms with that hot bowl of soup in hand, might simply be enough for them for the time being. It makes complete sense to me.
I think that way also when I see others here that might be disruptive, antagonistic. I have empathy and compassion for them too. I try to consider that they of all people might need the help and support the very most, but simply aren't at a point in their journey/life that they see things quite that way.
Thank you for your contributions! Somehow, this did my soul a great deal of good today.
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
Hello!
Thank you for your incredibly kind response. I'm glad my points resonated with you, I meant them all entirely
In truth, I speak somewhat from experience. I know what it is like to long for a lasting, steady community. People you can rely on, if for nothing else, to just be there, in your presence. To want to be there.
Your efforts with people who tend to lash out or react badly are admirable! Its exactly the kind of empathy we need to see more of. I try to keep hold of such a patient point of view with such individuals myself; honestly, I'm not perfect at it. But there are times I succeed in being kind in a way well recieved by all, and those are my motivators
Hugs and high fives 🫂 thank you again! I felt like I'd done something right when I read your response
@unassumingEyes
❤️❤️❤️
@unassumingEyes
I think you captured something in your post that reflects a little bit what I was feeling about the communication being “electric,” that yes, there can be that charge, but for some of us, it might rattle us, that the energy can be not matched well, or we need to circle back and try again before being ready, truly ready, to be in community.
You put in words something I was uncomfortable with, and I appreciate that about your post.
Yes, having places where we can just “be” as we are, without helping or being helped, just being accepted, is community at its best, isn’t it?
@CalmRosebud
Absolutely. I get what you mean, too, as I read Glen's thoughts i actually expected him to bring this up as well. I was surprised he didnt– so I did, since he did welcome our thoughts. It's really nice to see these type of posts that invite us to contribute our point of views. There are all sorts of people and all sorts of help, care or support they need. The more of us dare to share our thoughts and experiences, the more we can improve this place, right?
@GlenM
We have all been on the giving or receiving end of such care and it is usually hard to verbalize this connection. This must have been a challenging post to write!
High-warmth environment is a perfect summary of all these things aligned. I think trust is the needed element in making this connection happen. We trust people who we perceive to be authentic. We like spending time with people who we can be ourselves with. I feel like curating a judgement free space where authenticity meets vulnerability, that is where people feel cared for. 7 Cups checks those boxes. You can be yourself here.
I would like to add is that more often than not, the person in a more privileged place needs to initiate the connection. It is very hard to reach out to receive care when times are tough. If you know someone around you who can use some love, make an effort to initiate contact. Give the person an opportunity to receive the care.
Lastly, most people are both givers and receivers of care, just in different areas of life. You may be able to support someone financially, while needing support for your own mental well-being. At the same time, someone who is struggling financially may still offer strong emotional or social support. Ideally, we are all part of both roles, giving when we can and receiving when we need.
@Hope thanks Hope! Yes, it ONLY took me 13 years to figure this out! H said this sounds like something we should have figured out at the 6 month mark. I wish that was the case. There is simplicity, then complexity, then simplicity on the other side of complexity. I think we are - finally - just now getting to that simplicity on the other side of complexity.
Very good point on trust being the key component and that is earned by us as a platform and then earned with each member or listener that is supporting another person. I think we do a pretty good job with this, but I am always open to suggestions on how we can do better.
Good point on giving and receiving across different domains of life. We all have strengths and weaknesses. I think both giving and receiving in a domain is one way to grow it into a strength.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here!
I agree authenticity matters. I've made some goid friends here and really getting to know them via chat/posts was the reason why.
I think the use of undeclared AI is a hindrance with this. I do sense that added barrier of AI here fairly often and it can become expected even when not in use.
It's unfortunate. Even with bios where currently there's no AI guideline (afaik) I sense it a lot and I sometimes wonder if the things rewritten about the listener (or less often member) are true/something they actually identify with or believe.
@AffyAvo I'm glad you've made some good friends here Affy. I have too and agree with you that it is the chats and posts when you get to see people shine through and see them more clearly.
I can see why you think undeclared use of AI could be a concern here. For me, I tend to see AI in this context as a confidence builder. I think people tend to use it more often b/c it helps them better express themselves. With time, and comfort, I think people will use it less. What do you think of this context?
@GlenM Generally, I feel like AI posting on the internet is increasing and people are relying on it more and more.
It's new, maybe with time it will decrease although I suspect it's use may increase as AI improves.
I guess it depends on how people are using AI if it will increase their confidence in their communication skills. If there's thoughtful input and effort is taken to comprehend the output - sure. If it's just used as a crutch without that effort I think skills may be lost.
I think greater authenticity can be achieved just by stating AI was used and why. If I translate my words into another language for example, people may expect I can communicate in that language. If I share I used a tool for translation that expectation isn't there plus we all know meaning can be slightly altered with translation.
@AffyAvo I think people will use AI more and more and there will be a spectrum of how folks use it and reflect upon the output of it.
I don't see a lot of evidence of people declaring AI use in any context - on or off of 7 Cups. If that trend continues, is there a way that you can make peace with it? or do you think you'll always find it frustrating?
@GlenM
I think it's likely to impact where I spend my time. I'm not against AI, I use it at times. When seeking out information if someone with expertise that I trust uses it to format or organize ideas I'm onboard. I still prefer that person who knows the information though - there's so much nuance AI misses.
When my goals are more related to interacting with others I think AI will always be a turn off. I have found myself spending less time in places where AI use is heavy. I also see communities where AI has been banned and I find I'm being drawn to those.
@AffyAvo @GlenM
I agree with you absolutely!
Undeclared AI use bothers me too. Its creating a sense of mistrust– some listeners use AI way too much when talking to members. It feels less like they lack confidence and more like they dont care enough to put in some genuine effort. I think the AI helper for listener responses is unnecessary and creating that barrier. If a listener is not at a place where they can give their responses, with some help from mentors and the listener group chat, then I dont think they should be a listener in the first place. If members were looking for AI responses they would go straight to ChatGPT, right?
It's affecting group chats too. People are less willing to trust each other if they suspect the other is just sending AI created responses, and yet some people naturally speak in a tone somewhat similar to AI and are in this way left out. It's not something occuring only on cups– its everywhere on the internet. I think AI use needs to be monitored or controlled if we care about authenticity– and we do.
@AffyAvo Thank you for sharing this as I too have worked on flagging and helping people understand this point of view over time (including bios!). Authenticity and genuine human connection are extremely important to us as a community, and 7 Cups’ forum guidelines are very much aligned with that goal.
At the same time, we also recognize that AI can sometimes be used in good faith as a supplemental tool rather than a replacement for human connection. H made a good post about the balance here
We welcome reports and flags where users feel content may be overly AI-generated, misleading, or disruptive to authentic interaction and you can flag bios for this too. At the same time, we also want to avoid creating an atmosphere where people feel pressured to declare every instance of AI assistance, because that can unintentionally discourage participation, stigmatize accessibility-related usage, or lead to assumptions about people’s sincerity.
We have a separate Academy AI policy and of course our JITT AI feature keeps a balance by not allowing listeners to copy responses to serve as guidance only.
Though I didn't read it all and my comment is very far from being appreciative enough of this, my heart knows that it is amazing. Beyond amazing.
You are right billion percent right. I have seen it in my own life too.
The only problem is some people dont need electricity... they run on other things they dont need emotions or connection and they do jsut fine... but they dont understand our problems and needs. But since we have emotions we can understand theirs but they dont run on emotions so they dont understand us.
And in my case where every single family members is running on diesel... I stay complete ignored and devastated.
But your words are the essence of truth sir.
@MusicalTones6275 glad it resonates! if you have time to read it and want to unpack different parts, then know that I'm here and happy to talk about it.
@GlenM Glen, I have been an admirer of 7 Cups for years, and as a community-oriented psychotherapist working at the intersection of clinical care and technology, the move toward measuring a Care Alliance struck me as a good direction for the right next chapter. The horizontal version of alliance you are pointing at is, I suspect, the most underweighted variable in our whole field.
A gentle question, in the spirit of what you asked on the Noni paragraph: if felt-care is the active ingredient, and AI systems get better at producing the felt sense of it, how do you imagine the Care Alliance metric protecting the human-to-human current from quiet substitution over time?
I would love to think this through with you directly if useful.
@vikramsurya thank you for your work and interest in this space, Vikram! Here is an article I published on LinkedIn that has more context. If useful, please feel free to share it with others that share your interest in helping us further amplify this underweighted variable. I like how you put that! https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/care-electricity-glen-moriarty-4kmve/.
WRT AI and that felt sense, I'm struggling with that too. I more wonder about it when AI is primarily video based, has a twinkle in the eye, can read and respond to emotional expression too. Text feels less felt with AI. I'm not sure what will happen when it is video based and a person is unable to tell if the person is a bot or another person.
My hope and sense is that people will always be able to tell on some level. Like the electricity will never truly be there. There is some work being done on "synthetic loneliness" and I expect it will have the same sort of hollow effect even when it is more evolved.
What do you think?
This is a good concept/analogy. Thank you for sharing!
@ArizonaKona7 you bet! Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for reading!
@GlenM
Such a beautiful passage! The metaphor is perfect. Every word is electric. It really hits the core of what we need as human beings constantly going through tough times.
@yellowflowersinthedark what a fantastic gif! thank you!
@GlenM
Reading your post felt like being reminded of something I already knew deep down but rarely put into words: that real care isn’t a technique, it’s a current. The way you described care as a kind of human electricity made me pause and think about the moments in my own life when someone’s presence—not their expertise—shifted something inside me. Your stories about your mother and the people you’ve worked with over the years brought that truth to life in such a gentle, grounded way.
What stayed with me most was the idea that people often heal through connection before they heal through method. It made me reflect on how often the smallest, simplest gestures—checking in, listening without rushing, showing up consistently—have been the things that helped me feel seen again. Your framing of the “Care Alliance” helped me understand why those moments matter so much: they’re not accidental, they’re relational energy being exchanged.
I also appreciated the honesty about 7 Cups research and how people respond to genuine, voluntary care. It made me grateful for the spaces where people choose to show up for one another without obligation. Your post reminded me that communities like this work not because of structure, but because of the quiet, steady current of human warmth running through them.
Thank you for putting language to something so deeply felt yet rarely articulated. It made me reflect on the people who have been part of my own care network—and on how I want to keep offering that same electricity to others.
@Ivy229 thank you for your feedback on the post! I feel the same way. The electricity metaphor helped me see what we've been building in a new way. It is both obvious and non-obvious at the same time. On the plus side, I think we have all built and co-developed things in a way that is consistent with this metaphor. Like - hey we accidentally built this right! But, OTOH, I wonder if maybe we could have got here at a faster rate if I had better understood things. The latter is unlikely in that sometimes I think "trying" ends up messing things up b/c it ends up taking on more importance and generally trying to make something happen doesn't seem to work.