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How can I forget about the bad memories of my past?

281 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 3:29pm
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Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 6th, 2021 6:57am
try and take your mind of it! you can get a pet or plant to take care of. you can go hiking or swimming. you can take up drawing or painting! anything you want to do! remember to take care of you! self care days are very important for a healthy mind and body.
Anonymous
January 7th, 2021 6:07pm
It is important to work through your issues and talk about them in order for them to be forgiven and/or forgotten. It may be the case that they cannot be forgotten at all, and that someone will simply heal from the wounds that were provided and still hold that memory. The memory can change over time and the feelings about it can also change with education on their issue and why they feel that way and how the memory has impacted their life decisions, who they are as a person, and what they struggle with presently. The person may want to seek counseling if this issue persists.
Magicalmoongirl
January 10th, 2021 8:49am
Trying your best to live in the now is one of the most helpful things so live by. Know that you are not bound to your past and things of the future are not dependent on bad events in the past. Journal or use another outlet to vent how you feel about what had happened. You can write bad memories of the past on a plate and shatter it has a form of closure or write it all on a piece of paper and burn it. All are very freeing activities and work for many to feel a sense of closures. Also if there are relationships that you feel that are reminding you of the past you can reach out to those people for that to help you move on if you feel that is an option for your situation.
DarkPiT23
January 15th, 2021 6:13pm
Throughout our lives we accumulate memories we’d rather forget. For people who’ve experienced a serious trauma, such as combat experience, domestic violence, or childhood abuse, these memories can be more than unwelcome — they can be debilitating. Scientists are just beginning to understand the complex process of memory. But there’s still a lot they don’t understand, including why some people develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and others do not. Research into intentional forgetting has only been going on for about a decade. Prior to that, memory research revolved around retaining and improving memory. The topic of erasing or suppressing memories is controversial. Recent researchTrusted Source into “forgetting pills” is frequently challenged on the grounds of medical ethics. For some people though, it could be a lifesaver. Keep reading to learn what we know so far about intentionally forgetting things. How to forget painful memories 1. Identify your triggers Memories are cue-dependent, which means they require a trigger. Your bad memory isn’t constantly in your head; something in your present environment reminds you of your bad experience and triggers the recall process. Some memories have only a few triggers, like particular smells or images, whereas others have so many that they are hard to avoid. For example, someone with a combat-related trauma might be triggered by loud noises, the smell of smoke, closed doors, particular songs, items on the side of the road, and so on. Identifying your most common triggers can help you take control of them. When you consciously recognize a trigger, you can practice suppressing the negative association. The more often you suppress this association, the easier it will become. Researchers believeTrusted Source you can also reassociate a trigger with a positive or safe experience, thereby breaking the link between the trigger and the negative memory. 2. Talk to a therapist Take advantage of the process of memory reconsolidation. Every time you recall a memory, your brain rewires that memory. After a trauma, wait a few weeks for your emotions to die down and then actively recall your memory in a safe space. Some therapists advise you to talk about the experience in detail once or twice per week. Others prefer that you write out a narrative of your story and then read it during therapy. Forcing your brain to repeatedly reconstruct your painful memory will allow you to rewrite your memory in a way that reduces the emotional trauma. You won’t be erasing your memory, but when you do remember, it will be less painful. 3. Memory suppression For years, researchersTrusted Source have been investigating a theory of memory suppression called the think/no-think paradigm. They believe that you can use your brain’s higher functions, like reasoning and rationality, to consciously interrupt the process of memory recall. Basically, this means that you practice intentionally shutting down your painful memory as soon as it starts. After doing this for several weeks or months, you can (theoretically) train your brain not to remember. You basically weaken the neural connection that allows you to call up that particular memory. 4. Exposure therapy Exposure therapy is a type of behavioral therapy widely used in the treatment of PTSD, which can be particularly helpful for flashbacks and nightmares. While working with a therapist, you safely confront both traumatic memories and common triggers so that you can learn to cope with them. Exposure therapy, sometimes called prolonged exposure, involves frequently retelling or thinking about the story of your trauma. In some cases, therapists bring patients to places that they have been avoiding because of PTSD. A multisite clinical trialTrusted Source of exposure therapy among female service members found that exposure therapy was more successful than another common therapy at reducing PTSD symptoms. 5. Propranolol Propranolol is a blood pressure medication from the class of medications known as beta blockers, and it’s often used in the treatment of traumatic memories. Propranolol, which is also used to treat performance anxiety, stops the physical fear response: shaky hands, sweating, racing heart, and dry mouth. Recent double-blind trialsTrusted Source in 60 people with PTSD found that a dose of propranolol given 90 minutes before the start of a memory recall session (telling your story), once a week for six weeks, provided a significant reduction in PTSD symptoms. This process takes advantage of the memory reconsolidation process that happens when you recall a memory. Having propranolol in your system while you recall a memory suppresses the emotional fear response. Later, people are still able to remember the details of the event, but it no longer feels devastating and unmanageable. Propranolol has a very high safety profile, which means it’s generally considered safe. Psychiatrists will often prescribe this medication off-label. (It’s not yet FDA-approved for the treatment of PTSD.) You can inquire about local psychiatrists in your area and see if they use this treatment protocol in their practices.
lusineterzyan
January 16th, 2021 2:57am
One of the techniques I use to move on from a situation I will no longer like to remember is meditation. Meditation helps clear the mind on focus on the now. I find that meditation may come differently for each person. The way I use it is breathing exercises. This helps me concentrate and appreciate what is happening in the present moment rather than dwell on the past. Clearing the mind allows you to move on from undesired past experiences. Another way I stop thinking about the past is physical activities such as yoga, walking, and hiking. These have all helped me in the past.
softLove2539
February 11th, 2021 2:02pm
Everyone has their own personal story from their past that they would like to just forget about. This is very true for me as I have suffered from PTSD and anxiety, even as a very young child. I personally think that some of your bad memories will never go away, no matter how long ago it was. There are alternative ways to overcome these bad memories though. Throughout the past few months, I have really focused on myself and had lots of me time. This has benefitted me because I have realised that you cannot get rid of bad memories but you can accept them as they are, and continue to live your life. It is, of course not as easy as it sounds, but is it certainly possible.
OutdoorKate
March 3rd, 2021 1:17am
I don't think we can ever forget memories. Good or bad. What we can do is recognize them and find a way to make peace with them. Therapy is a great place to work through those memories and find a way forward. Bad memories can be difficult and can often feel constricting if we don't seek resolution. It is important to honour how you feel and find peace with these type of memories so you can move forward. It's like sweeping dust under the carpet when you try to ignore or run from them. Just because you can't see the dust it is still there. Therapy is like a broom, it rolls up that carpet and sweeps it all out right into the dust bin.
Mimiverse
March 4th, 2021 12:43am
It's undeniable, for various reasons, that bad memories are something that we would not want to remember if possible. Although, there is no direct way to take a memory out from your brain, if it is affecting you in the moment, you can always take a deep breathe and find an activity that you do like. Doing this will make a new memory. Sometimes, forgetting something isn't the best course. Although it may be painful sometimes and you want to let go of that hurt, those bad memories could have changed your past or your future and although you want to let it go, a part of it may have even made a piece of your soul. If you find yourself unable to forget, time will soften that pain, but embracing it could also mean growing and one day that bad memory will be a lesson.
Anonymous
March 21st, 2021 7:19am
Well, memories cannot be forgotten- that's why they are called memories. How we perceive them can be changed and that should help one to move on and go ahead in life. For as long as we see the memory as something bad/ as something that hurt us/ as something that broke us/ as something that changed our life, that's how long we will be enslaved to that memory. It is we ourselves who give power to the memory to affect us. Look at the memory as an experience, as a learning curve. Let not your past define you. You are not moving in that direction.
Anonymous
March 25th, 2021 6:29pm
I have learned to make bigger and better memories. The more memories you make, the more they will overwhelm all those other memories from your past that you won't even want to think about them. Life will be all about living in the present and it makes life worth living when you're constantly making great memories. I have learned that everyday I should strive to have something to remember and that makes so many more memories along the way. Big or small I will have more good memories than bad so there will be no point of thinking of anything from the past.
JessMRose
April 10th, 2021 9:25pm
If memories from the past are not good and are haunting you, one way of possibly forgetting those bad moments would be creating new ones ! Another form would be writing down in a piece of paper all the details about them and then ripping the paper off and getting rid of it . In that sense all those thoughts and details are written and can now be left in the past. Keeping busy is another way of forgetting bad memories being physical and staying active can keep you focus on things that are in the present rather than the past.
Anonymous
April 18th, 2021 7:20am
Start off by identifying your triggers. You can do this by taking a step back and tracing the roots of when you began feeling this way. There is a root to every problem, you just need to find yours in order to get past it! And sometimes, talking to someone you trust, preferably an adult, can help! You do not have to go through anything alone and often talking to someone or perhaps writing/journaling about how you feel can help you get things into perspective! this way, you identify the root of your problem and can find ways to get past this issue!
youxarexloved
May 2nd, 2021 10:56pm
I have gone to therapy for 10 years to heal from my trauma and from my experience, you can never forget trauma. They will forever be a part of me and my story. But, it no longer controls my life or defines who I am. I can think about it without crying or without getting sad. I have learned to grow from that experience and turn it into something good. Its really really hard. But it is possible. In conclusion, it is all about learning to coexist with those memories. Over time, you won't think about it as much. best of luck!
Anonymous
May 8th, 2021 10:36pm
Time can be a great healer for bad memories of your past. It can take a while but in the meantime you can find things that will make you distract yourself like painting, going out, listening to music/watching movies, spending time with a pet or anything that will take your mind off of those memories. Journalling your thoughts can be also a good way to express what you're feeling. You can also write what is making you upset and throw the paper far away as if it were flying away from you. This can give you comfort and you can give it a try!
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2021 6:51pm
It’s not easy to forget about the things that caused pain to us and haunt us later on, we can learn to forgive, forgiving gives us a sense of freedom, once you feel you have forgave recognize those moment as a lesson recognizes patterns and try to guide yourself through a wiser Version of your self, it is always our choice how to overcome this phases of our lives, when you were a child you had to learn and listen to what you were told, as you grew up you also learn the capability of decide what way to guide your life in a positive, kind, compassionate and loving way your get to choose, no one will love your life for you but you choose what will make you happy.
Kimbeoyl2003
June 16th, 2021 7:39am
By learning to value myself that maybe I did bad or made a mistake but now I will handle it more accurately because of my experience. Nobody is perfect but improving ourselves can help us to feel our worth. My worth is decided by me. My future is decided by me. My memories are mine I can't erase it. I can't ignore them. I can't forget them. But I can learn to live with them by learning and improving from my mistakes. Memories can be made so I'll try to make wonderful memories that will help me to feel good about myself. I love myself
Anonymous
June 20th, 2021 2:41pm
You can reframe your bad memories so they aren't so dominating . Look into the matrix technique. You can choose to neutralise these memories and refile them . For me, i struggle with the memories fracturing and different elements of the fragments getting triggered but disconnected from the source memory. It is helpful to remember , not to forget , but just redefine our emotional relationship to it . I hope this is helpful to you . Ive tried to forget, block out , dissociate, but it all comes back up in ways we don't expect . ACCEPT, REFRAME and the power of the NOW. If you dont remember the past , how do you know you are truely in the present?
Anonymous
June 25th, 2021 7:05pm
While we may desperately want to forget bad memories right away, it takes time for them to fade. Finding ways to move past bad memories means empathizing with yourself in the meantime: they are a heavy burden to bare and you are just trying your best. In short, if you want to "forget" about bad memories- maybe it is time to create some new good memories. In short, you may be able to move past "bad" memories by creating new "good" memories. If these "bad" memories were traumatic, actively trying to get help processing them is crucial to your mental health and well-being. They will not go away, and they will not change until you address them.
ahsoka16
June 26th, 2021 1:48am
You can forget about the bad memories of the past by accepting them and then moving on. The first and most important step is accepting what has happened in your way. You can do this by breaking what has happened into little digestable pieces that are easier to. swallow. That way, once it is in smaller pieces, it may not seem as bad and scary than it would be as a whole. Once it has been broken down, you can begin by manipulating each piece into sommething less scary. Take control of it and change the way you feel.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2021 5:28pm
Sometimes the reason we have trouble forgetting the memories of our past is because we have not come to terms with them. If memories are causing strife in your life, altering your behavior, or weighing you down with unhelpful protective mechanisms, it may be time to connect with yourself about those memories, and reassure yourself that it's okay to let them go. If you'd like, find a safe, quiet space, get into a comfortable position (but one you're not likely to fall asleep in!) and close your eyes. Try to connect with one such memory. When you feel it, tell yourself, "This is okay, it's in the past". Ask yourself "What makes you hold onto this? Why do you believe it is useful? Is this still relevant?" and try to find and understand the answers. Many times, we hold onto a memory or a fear because we believe it will prepare us for the future, or we think it will protect us from pain moving forward. But always guarding against a pain that may or may not come can cause us to act in ways that make happiness and connection difficult. Once you have assessed why this memory is still around, thank yourself for trying to protect you, but assure yourself it is no longer needed in this context (if that's true) and that it's okay to let go of these memories that you don't want to affect you anymore. Remind yourself that you (in the present moment) are safe, you are loved (because you love yourself and are making time to connect with yourself), and you want to be here. Hope that helps!
Anonymous
July 9th, 2021 4:33am
Keeping yourself occupied with things that you love doing such as reading or hanging out with friends or family can distract you from the bad memories that happened in the past. Sometimes acknowledging what happened to you helps to give you closure and realize that what happened to you is now in the past and doesn't define you. What I like to do when I am faced with bad memories of the past is to write it down to let me feelings out, it helps me release built up emotions and I feel more at peace when I write down what is going on, on the inside of my head
Anonymous
July 10th, 2021 10:36pm
I think that personally the memories are always going to be there, in the back of your head. But it could get better with time and then you may not think about them as often, but it takes time to heal from those things. Talking about them might help and just time helps. But if you want to distract yourself from those memories, in my case it helps if I watch movies, go for walks, write, listen music or see friends etc. Talking to a professional about your memories or writing your feelings down on paper may also help.
GlisteningSoul
July 11th, 2021 11:28am
Forgetting bad memories of the past is no doubt a tough thing to do. Normally, if you keep on remembering the bad memories of your past, it simply means that there are some things that keep on bugging you and keep on hurting you that remind you of your painful past. The best course of action would be to come to terms with your past. Acceptance of the past is often quite hard, however, it also results in unimaginable satisfaction. Once only after acceptance, can you let go of the past and move on. Therefore, resulting in eventually fading of bad memories.
AMomentInTime1830
July 14th, 2021 2:21am
Its not about forgetting them, they have happened and they are a part of your life. Its ultimately about acknowledging them, and not allowing them to affect or control you anymore. Taking the time to remember the bad memories is a good thing, it shows us how we have gotten to where we now, even if that's a negative place. By going back and embracing each memory, feeling the memory and discovering what impact it has had on the rest of your life can show you what things need to be adjusted moving forward. What coping mechanisms were developed and why? What behaviours and actions do we apply when dealing with situations that arise in our lives, why and how now with knowing where they came from, can we change them in a positive way. You must acknowledge and accept your past, knowing that you can never go back and change it, but it can teach you and guide you to a better more peaceful, fulfilling future.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2021 7:13pm
You can forget by talking about things that used to matter in the past and know it doesn’t anymore Actually, there’s a quote I like alot or maybe it’s not a quote it’s a formula , 5/5 , if something won’t bother you in the coming 5 years of your life, it shouldn’t bother you 5 mins now !!! Work on it and know that you’re capable of anything and everything And if there’s a specific thing you’d like to talk about I’m always here to listen okay?? You’re the best!!!!!! And I’m always proud of what you do ! Have a good day
glasseyedgrace
September 9th, 2021 1:38am
This one is something I have personally struggled with. I don't think anyone can actually tell you how to forget or how you should get through it, but I will tell you what helped me. As humans, we have a tendency to remember the bad things more than the good they call it a negative bias. I almost had to reprogram my brain and empty the clutter so to speak. I began writing every single thought and feeling no matter the reason or the depth of it I wrote everything in my journals. If I had gas, well my journal knew about it lol. What that did for me was take all of the noise in my mind and calm it down some. I also was able to in a way talk about my feelings without shame or embarrassment even if it was just by writing in a journal. But every time I made an entry, I was taking those bad memories and stripping their power away. So slowly I began to read everything I had written and over time I could even see my own progress. I kept all of my journals but some people like to destroy them. As I said, this is what worked for me, it is never one size fits all but hey it is worth a shot. Good luck, I hope things get better!
CreativeMindset
September 10th, 2021 1:16pm
Hi there. Ask a different question in this way: how can you keep yourself remember the bad memories all the time? Figure out how we keep ourselves thinking about the bad experiences, for examples, what did you do to let yourself remember the bad memories? Have you put your focus on those experiences all the time? If it is yes, those memories might have something for you to make yourself feel some kind of emotions. When we try to focus on something, which also means that we might get something from it. As we all knew that the past is past, we cannot change the outcomes of the past, however, what we can do is to change the Now to create the future. As the Now is the past of our future. Therefore, if at the present, we want to forget the past, we need to leave the past behind. And start to create new page for our future from now on.
JuliaGlowingHeart
September 12th, 2021 6:11pm
We don't just forget you know, we just need to accept that these have occurred and will always be in the past. And everything that is in the past should not affect your present. It can be hard yes for some time, but you'll see with time, your mind will get this habit of accepting and letting go. That is when you will be able to say, okay I finally moved on and forgot about what happened, while knowing for sure that it will still remain in your memories but not affecting you as it did before. So yeah, that's it
floweryfairy222
September 30th, 2021 9:22am
Bad memories can’t be forgotten, but there is a healthier way of approaching this situation: it would be letting go of the negative feeling these memories are surrounded of, accepting that they made you who you are today and developed your character and learning from the mistakes that have been made during those tough times in order to become better. The past is never meant to be forgotten, but neither should it be able to affect our present and future. It shoud be reffered to as maybe a sad book you’ve read that made an impression on you, but can’t personally affect your life.
bouncyBeach42
October 1st, 2021 3:30pm
I have found through the years, that when my "bad" memories of the past come out of nowhere and hit me, I take a deep breath and then instead of just saying I am not going to think about that, I hit it head on. I take a moment to fully understand and try to remember how I felt at the time. Then instead of looking at that bad memory as a horrible thing, I think about the good that came out of that bad time. I think about the decisions I made and the choices I made because of that "bad" time and how maybe in the long run, because of having that bad experience, I turned into a much stronger person, or how it led to a better path for me.