How can I forget about the bad memories of my past?
281 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 3:29pm
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Jennifer Patterson, LMFT
Art Therapist
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
One thing i like to start off by doing is remembering that you need to grow from a bad past. Find out one thing you can take away from a bad experience and grow from it. Next, you want to hold onto that way you can grow, but I will say, I don't think you can forget about bad memories. Sadly, Humans tend to hold onto the negatives of a situation and tend to forget the positives, so luck is out when trying to forget a specific trauma or bad memory. The only thing I can recommend is that you find a positive about the situation and have that in mind when the memory pops up.
Sometimes you can’t. I’ve been through multiple traumas, take a handful of pills, and still have reoccurring nightmares and flashbacks. Doctors have told me what happened will always be a part of me. There are some things I can’t remember, but I know I remember them vividly during dreams or flashbacks. I recommend focusing on positive things, and surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Don’t turn to alcohol or drugs to forget, as it turns out bad in the end. It gets tougher, but eventually you’ll climb the mountain and feel okay again. Your past doesn’t define who you are.
I’ve worked on acceptance and forgiveness rather than forgetting. Accepting the things out of my control, & forgiving others as well as myself. l’ve tried to analyzing how every bad experience has played a huge part in the person I am and the person I am becoming while being thankful that my experience will allow me to help others going through similar struggles. So forgetting about the past may not always be possible but accepting the things that have happened and growing from your experiences will wag more rewarding in the long run
Anonymous
September 20th, 2019 10:30am
Look firstly avoid thinking to much on past. Stop your negative thoughts Belive in yourself . Love yourself get out of your comfort zone try some new things meet new people learn new things . Whenever you start thinking about past try to make yourself remember that it was a lesson for you. You learned from your past a good thing try to see positive things in that . Avoid negative thoughts. Do what you love . Start making yourself Happy from small things. Hangout with people who loves you . Try new learn new things life is beautiful if you see by positive side
I have found that mine will never go away but Talking them out with someone who will listen always helped me. It can be sometimes be better to talk to a stranger. Someone who doesnt know your situation as there is less chance of judgement. But also learning to forgive can help you gain closure from your past. This can sometimes take time, but with the correct support this can be done. Sometimes it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But rest assure i can confirm that there is. I wish you all the luck
you cannot forget your bad memories. forgetting them is not necessarily realistic, since you can’t control your memories. If we could, the world would be not a better place. However, you can learn from them and learn not to dwell on them. Humans were made to remember the negative. it’s how we survived in the BC time periods- we remembered the negative and built our selves off of it. without it, we wouldn’t have known what was helpful and what was hindering our survival. so, in order to get over these bad memories, you must learn to understand and accept them.
Anonymous
November 6th, 2019 6:52pm
I believe that one can never forget bad experiences and memories. When discussing events which could have been prevented, what's important is that the one learns from those memories, identifies what went wrong, what could have been done to avoid it happening in the first place, and just growing into a better version of oneself- one who is kinder and more aware and is willing to help oneself and others when they are in situations where they need support and assurance that things will be alright. The key thing to remember is- memories, whether good or bad, have defined and moulded you to become who you are as a person now. Growth is key to leading a fruitful life.
Surprising but you can't forget memories that constantly haunts you! You can only repress it, acting like you don't have that memory. However, it's not quite emotionally healthy since it can come back and become even worse.
We can't forget, but we can learn how to let go, how to forgive the past. We can never move on in life if we keep holding on to that one thing that makes yourself angry, because you think it could've been better if you do this or that. It's not easy to accept bad past, I haven't fully let my mistakes go but we all learn. I'm sure you can do it slowly!
Best of luck!
Anonymous
December 4th, 2019 3:45am
Forgetting is never the answer. Forgetting bad memories, in my opinion, is a form of running away (someone people may see it as coping). We must always have the courage to face ourselves and our past so we can let them go or else our past would haunt. It is also beneficial for us to accept our history and learn from them. As always, it is easier said than done. However, it is never too late to start tackling the bad memories. So if you are having a hard time with tackling bad memories, just reach out and ask someone for help.
It's generally not a good idea to forget about bad memories of the past. If you haven't healed from a previous experience, forgetting about the experience doesn't relieve the pain. The pain finds another outlet to express itself because it was never properly dealt with. Instead of trying to forget about bad memories, you should work on accepting that bad things occurred. Accepting that something happened doesn't mean you're saying it was right or that it should have happened, it simply accepts reality as it is. Accepting bad memories removes the weight of those memories and allows you to move on from them.
I am not in a position to give specific advice, but creating good memories now is a potential way to distract yourself from bad thoughts and memories. I personally use mediums of expression to take my mind off of negative thoughts, such as drawing, writing, singing, or acting. Reading is also helpful for me when I want to feel immersed into another world. Many people want to forget bad memories, but there may be times when they resurface. You have to remember that those times have come and gone, and new opportunities to create new and better memories are always right now.
I usually turn to writing in times of crisis, whether it is the immediate aftermath of the event, or withing the weeks, months, or sometimes years following. Usually this exercise helps me to reanalyze the event, see how I reacted and how I could have reacted differently, while still acknowledging how I felt and how that has impacted me, the self, as a whole. While this may not work for everyone, considering that one has to be thinking about the event or trauma that is related to the event, it it a way that works for me and that helps me move on.
Live each day as though it was your first. If you find yourself dwelling on the past, remind yourself it's over now, and you can start again. Try to live in the now, and not in the past or future. It helps to stay grounded and talk to yourself like you're a good friend. Keep working at it, and it will pay off. I find that if you catch yourself thinking about the past, it helps to say 'ah, there I go again, maybe I can work this into a good thought about how I learned from my past and it has made me stronger.
This is difficult but try to find a way forward by using other methods. Speak to people who have a genuine interest in your issues and really listen to what they say. At some point something that one of them says will resonate with you and help you take the right path for you given your situation now. What works for someone else may not necessarily work for you though so be mindful of that when making your decisions. The more people you talk to, the more options you will be presented with. This puts you in a good position moving forward. If things don’t go as you plan them to you can always try another way. As I said, what works for someone else may not work for you.
Forgetting bad memories of the past is like trying to conceal dust under the carpet: once you remove it for x reasons, you'll going to be amazed by all the dirt accumulated beneath it. Leaving jokes aside, the best way to improve your present time is to learn something from your past: it may be a mistake or a trauma, it can be someone who let you down or something you've lost along the way. Everything came to you to teach you a lesson and make you stronger: this is so liberating once you can embrace this! Try to look at your past without judgment and see it will work wonders!
Give yourself some time, don’t try to push them all away all at once, that’s not going to work. If the bad memories are still affecting you today, it’s probably because you’ve put an absolute end to it. If it’s something that you can solve once and for all, do it. If not, try to talk to somebody about it. The weight is always less heavy when you share it with someone. Also try to sleep early, exercise, and other things to take care of yourself. This way you can shift the focus from that bad memory to your current self. Find something to do, if you have time to think about some memories, it may also mean that you can add something meaningful to your schedule that will take up some time and commitment. Hope this helps :)
The past is in the past, that's what I would say. The past memories cannot be changed, but only accepted. Once you accept them, you can let go and move on from them. Gone days hold no meaning. They're history. You have today, the present. Don't let your past affect your today. You don't have to forget the past memories, you just need to accept them and put them in one distant corner of your mind until they're no more. Focus on other good things and on your future. Life has a lot to offer and I hope it is kind towards you. Good luck x
A person can't really "forget" about bad memories. And "forgive" isn't always an option either. What you can do is make peace with the fact that it happened. First step is to address it and come to terms with the fact that it happened. Bottling up events and swearing to take them to the grave is a grave mistake. Not addressing haunting events will build up stress and anxiety and will only make triggers of the past memories worse. This answer is generic and you must hear it all the time, but talking really helps. Telling the stories of the bad memories aloud for someone hear helps immensely.
I think the goal should not be to forget bad memories but to live through the experienced emotions and understand yourself and your own biography in relation to good and bad memories. Of course it is important to confront pain in a way that you can digest it in a healthy way. Seeking empathy and understanding in relation to your bad experiences is a way to deal with negative emotions and release every sense of shame. If you were able to confront and understand the memories and their effects on your life you will be able to move forward
This question is a tricky one because it has to do with our brain and memory storage. I don't believe there is a way to forget bad memories. I think you have to heal from those bad memories and turn them into something bright. I don't think you should ignore the bad things that happen to you in life. You should grow and learn from them. Forgetting should never be an option because you will never learn from forgetting. Be a seed and grow. Turn those bad memories into water and sunlight. Don't ever forget bad memories; instead, grow and learn from them.
You aren’t going to forget immediately. It takes time to work through the bad memories. Without working through then, either on your own or with someone else, theres no potentially forgetting. And you may never truly forget those memories. But being able to move past the emotions tied to those memories is healing in a way, I think. And it’s ok for the memories to be hard to move past, or even really easy to move past. No one processes things the same, and no one has the same things to process and move past. Take your time - as much time as you need.
To note that when you have a memory that still attaches to you for years, it may be that there is something that you need to learn from the experience, something that you need to acknowledge on why did you do it or why did it happen, you yourself know this subconsciously.
You can never forget the memories that left you deep impression even though they are in the past, you may try to forget it entirely by distracting yourself from remembering it, but it is still gonna be there sitting inside your head growing larger on the way to make tantrum because you ignore it.
Face the memory, reflect deeply about it and learn yourself through it. Because when you accept what happened, you would also make the memory as a lesson, not a bad memory.
We don't delete memories, we replace them. Our brain stores everything we encounter with so deleting or forgetting is not a mechanism, we just replace those data with new data coming in. Replace your bad memories with new memories, by creating moments s with family friends, loved ones.
Talk to as many people you want. Talk to them about how you feel.
Eventually, you will forget those bad ones when you have a new one to cherish. gIve your self a start. Go out, do crazy things you love, get a good hobby, play some instrument. Do mindfulness practice, do the workout. Feel good.
Anonymous
April 19th, 2020 5:28am
I know that sometimes it can be hard to forget the bad memories of the past. It's not easy. As harmful as these past occurrences may have been, everything happens for a reason. In the long run, you will grow and flourish from these experiences. Take what you have learned from these experiences and use them in your everyday life. They can even help you become a better person. Be the person you with you had during these experiences. Try taking time to yourself to reflect and the amazing person you are. And how you've grown from everything in your past.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2020 9:13pm
Bad memories can be bad thing to deal with it indeed . i think we have 2 choices ...either each bad memory we somehow cover it with 3 good ones ... or we take the bad ones ... and have pieces of them until they do not matter anymore . Each life has bad and good ones ... The important thig is not to let the bad ones to stop us continue making good memories . Because those matter most .. from those we get the good vib and energy we need ...Keep making good memories
Anonymous
April 26th, 2020 1:04pm
You can't forget about the past, you can only accept it, learn from it and move on from it. Accepting it will show that you understand that you can't move back in time and change anything, and that it happened. Learning from it will show that you understood the mistake and that it gave you a lesson. And in the end, you will be finally able to move on from it. Also, distracting yourself from thinking these memories (after doing the steps above) will help you a lot! I hope you are having a good day! Love you! xx - Katherine
I found it best to find a hobby or something calm and soothing to do .Like listening to positive music , painting , reading .Doing things that are therapeutic for the mind so you can center yourself and think of your bad experiences as stepping stools.these stepping stools are parts of you and they build you although they may hurt .Sidetracking yourself may help you forget temporarily but it’ll come back , you should speak with friends , family, and anyone who’s willing to have an open ear because when you talk about things they usually lets the majority of the pressure off.
Remember that the past is the past. A lot of my anxiety stems from my brain lying to me and telling me that I'm nothing because of the bad memories I have about myself and the things I have been through. The person that hurt you in the past cannot ever hurt you again. The bad memories cannot hurt you anymore. You've made it this far. You can keep it up and make it further. This mantra helped me more than words can say: "just because the thought exists doesn't mean it's true." I repeat it in my head over and over again until I feel better.
Anonymous
May 10th, 2020 11:33am
You can't forget your past bad days all of sudden. This is so human nature and you can't do anything about it. Therefore don't try to forget it. The harder you will try the worst it will become. It is our past that makes us what we are today. It makes us stronger, so we can deal with the problems we have in the present and future. Accept the fact that things were bad in your past. If you really want to forget the past just concentrate on the present and try to make it as nice as you can.
You can't forget the past bad memories but you surely can replace it with the good ones that you make in your present. I hope this helps you.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2020 4:45am
Focus on yourself right at this moment and distract yourself with something else, like something you enjoy (listening to music, art, etc) something that may also help you forget about the bad memories of your past is focusing on your future and where you would like to be 1 week from now, 5 weeks from now, 1 month from now and maybe even a year from now. i suggest also setting goals for yourself and maybe even seek professional help if it gets to extreme. this is what i personally do if i would like to forget about bad memories of my past
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